


Anaan

by Leilatigress



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-09 07:01:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 74,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3240641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leilatigress/pseuds/Leilatigress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if the Inquisitor did belong to the Qun, what if she was Saarebas but now Tal-Vashoth?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She had been born in the tiny village of Yasla, the pride and joy of a former Arvaarad and a Tamassran. They had watched her grow and named her Anaan, victory because she was. She was their victory against the Qun and all it stood for. Never mind the fact at the ripe age of 10 the Ben-Hassrath troops had raided the village and taken her. Village had been put to the torch, her parents killed but the children, those had all been herded onto boats that took them to Par-Vollen where she had been put with the other Saarebas, or mages. On the cold temple floor she had knelt for hours and learned her craft that she was worthless and powerful and that she would never be allowed to speak again as her lips were sewn shut. Needle pinching as again and again it was thrust through her lips and finally it was done the sharp tug and snap to make sure they would hold. They called her Saarebas that was all she ever was and all she would ever be. She earned collar, chains, and leash each given as a prize for learning something and each piece she learned to love because it gave her control. Her runes were inked into her skin each a spell to bind and control to tell of her accomplishments each a piece of pride for her. She had balked when they had wanted her horns, those she had been proud of. Despite her lowly heritage hers were a marvel of purest silver, rare among her people. Along with her gold skin and silver eyes she was a mashup of rarities.

Arvaarad glanced at his Saarebas as she knelt before him her horns gone now her final step before being allowed to join a Karataam, unit with a mix of Karasaad or soldiers, him and another Saarebas theirs the hard job of hunting Tal-Vashoth and lost units of Qunari.Runes glistening against golden skin, each line a commitment and a binding she would never be free again. Flick of his wrist she and other Saarebas rose from the floor to follow as he held their leashes in his hand his other holding the control rod. Onto the Dreadnaught they went to land off the coast of the free marches near the walls of Starkhaven. Arvaarad ignored that town, moved with his unit as his Karasten or commander dictated. Theirs was a successful hunt, of the Tal Vashoth several had stated they wished to be reeducated something that could be arranged as they were put on the ship and taken back to Par-Vollen.

“Anaan. Boss wake up.” Bull shook her awake catching hands glowing with a spell gritted his teeth as the energy fired out hitting the sandy dirt behind her head with a sizzle pop. “Easy Boss, just me.” Bull kept a hold took in her rapid breathing the slick sheen on brow and breast as eyes focused to look at him.

“Bull.” Anaan took a deep breath his name a whispered talisman, waited for her heart to slow down for the dream to leave her for the shuddering pain and the gasps that came with them the struggle to get her hands away from Bull to wrap them around herself and to tamp down the need to cry to breath slowly and evenly until it passed. Bull had long since stopped asking what she was dreaming about, what could possibly reduce the strongest woman he had ever met to a quivering mess without so much as drawing blood. Sitting up gingerly Anaan sees the barrier Solas had erected shimmer before it goes down sees Varric, sound asleep and oblivious to her night terrors.

Breathing under control Anaan tilts her head to the side a deep cleansing breath working its way through her lungs as she looks and finds the skin she needs takes a grateful pull while Bull watches her carefully. Not liking the gaze Anaan struggles to her feet, her body not ready to let go of the pain pitches to her knees and is left there as another wave hits. It is the same routine over and over, her on knees arms crossed her head down the memory of the stick as it cracked across her torso the arch of her back as she is beat over and over the stick finding purchase as she falls curled up in a fetal position arm covering her head other wrapped around ribs trying to breath to get past the memory. “Katoh,Katoh, Atah Issala , Atah Isaala, Maraas Katoh. Stop, stop I am dust, I am nothing stop.” It is a litany she whispers until she is hoarse her voice raw with pain.

Anaan hears his steps behind her, knows he is on his knees besides her waiting patiently for her to indicate what she needs, what she wants. “Kost, peace I think I am done.” She struggles to her knees again knowing better than to even try her feet is thankful Bull does not scoop her up anymore. When she makes it to her feet listing as she takes a couple of steps reaching out instinctively for Bull who steadies her.

“Please.” Bull asks waits for Anaan to nod before scooping her up holding her against him carrying her against his chest placing her gently back on the pile of blankets that serve as a bed for them laying down making sure to not hit her with his horns. Taking another pull from the skin Anaan is still working on breathing, her hands tracing her body stripping the dirty sweat stained tunic laying it out to dry running a hand over her ribs and back, conformation she is not marked. Taking Bull's hand she places it on her hip, smiles as his hand starts to run over adjusts as she pulls her pants off as also well-toned legs from walking and fighting glisten gold with sweat and the memory.

“Bull.” It is a command and a plea as his hands continue to stroke, play and erase the memory. Laying her back he continues hands lighting fires taking in the gasps, the hitching of her breath the moans as her body comes alive for him. Anaan does not cry out in passion, hers is the slow burn and release of control the flushed skin, dilated eyes and hum of satisfaction. Bull has to watch her carefully, her body ever changing of its wants and needs with no vocal tell to say yes or no even as he traces fingers along her thigh his claws careful to never touch her skin. Gentle, always gentle never tearing, never more than the slow calm she needs after her storms.

Morning has her in meditation her hair looking like pure milk as it falls down her shoulders to her waist. Bull watches her back, rigid never an arch, her shoulders square her knees parallel to the ground as she is cross-legged her arms middle and thumb touching rest lightly on knees face calm and serene defying the war she waged the night before. Her lips form passages from the Qun words traced in silence as she repeats the passages until she reaches the end. Opening her eyes she sees Bull watching her again, his patch ever in place but that one eye he does have seen so much, too much. Anaan does not squirm under his gaze; this is a man who knows every nuance of her body has known it for months. She offers him a smile, one of those rare treats she gives on occasion as she shifts her body cupping his face and kissing him lightly. “Morning ready to kill a dragon?” His answering smile is what she needs as she gets up and wonders to the fire.

“You can't tell me what she dreams?” Bull asks even as Solas shakes his head no.

“She does not walk the fade, ever. She commands her magic without waste and whatever dreams she has are locked tight in her mind. In all my travels of the fade I have never met a Qunari or a dwarf.” Solas looks at the object of their conversation her back straight attention on the road ahead never looking over her shoulder to regard the rest of her companions.

“So after we kill this Dragon we are headed to the Storm Coast to kill that one there too?” Varric asks his pony not even half the size of the Dracolisk Anaan rides its black hide its silver horns a fair match to what is left of Anaan's.

“Yes.” Anaan answers and Varric sighs, drops his mount back to Bull while Solas spurs his Hart next to Anaan's rapping Bull's battle nug on the nose as it tries to take a bite out of the hart on the way.

“I take it she had an attack last night?” Varric asks which earns him the regard of Bull who is deep in thought wondering how to deal with this latest surprise in his lover.

“Yes.” Bull answers with a slight smile earning an eye roll and exasperated huff from the genial dwarf who can talk more than an entire group of people combined.

“I am used to the one syllable answers from her but you? How bad was it?” Varric keeps his eyes on Bull waits as the Qunari weighs and discards answers in a heartbeat.

“Bad.” When Varric looks like he is going to unleash his crossbow Bull holds a hand up. “Worst I have ever seen, she is a mystery I would love to figure out. Right now I have no idea how to help her, she refuses to speak about whatever it is and I cannot help her if I don't have the information.” Bull watches Anaan again as they head towards the steady roar of a beast knowing the dragon has tangled in the traps they laid for it.

“Kost Atashi, ash ataash peace dragon, seek glory. I bring you peace, an end to your pain and your torment.” Anaan speaks softly to the dragon as she swings off her mount her staff already in hand her magic ready to be cast as Ash as she calls her Dracolisk rounds up the rest of the mounts her party already fanning out behind her as the dragon regards them jaws snapping it's brown hide marred in places from other dragons perhaps its prey. They all take a moment to assess the dragon checking to see where the traps have snapped shut, keeping one of its legs pinned denying it flight. Seeing its tormentors the dragon roars a gout of flame narrowly missing as they duck and dive out of the way.

Approaching the dragon Bull has his sword out, the blade already humming with the cold rune as he presses a finger to activate it allowing the cold tendrils to curl off of it as he walks closer to his prey watching the movements noticing it's favoring the right shoulder, keeping its wings tucked as the dragon watches him spraying more flame. Solas's barrier literally sizzles as the flame hits it Varric already loading his crossbow Bianca ready for Anaan's signal which she gives as she shoots a huge globe of lightning at the Dragon making it scream.

Time is lost for Bull as he keeps the Dragon's attention his blade swiping and curving knowing the rest of the party will kill it, his job is always keep it entertained and it’s a job he's very good at. With a shuddering moan the dragon finally roars it's last Bull rolls to have the head not land on him feels Solas' healing magic slide over him stitching minor cuts and tears in his hide together as he walks towards the rest of the party. Anaan has already calmed her magic runes glowing faintly then fading when not needed. “It should be a good harvest off this one.” Varric has already put Bianca up is waiting for him to join the group and he does taking a seat on a nearby boulder feeling a few of the cuts Solas did not heal knows the mage will let those be knowing they will heal just fine now they are out of the fight.

Anaan takes the cage with the crow off of Solas' mount when they decide to show up writing a short message of where they are and sending the crow back to the closest base knowing they are moving towards a location to establish another one. Done with that task she is mounted and waits as the others mount up their pouches stuffed with dragon meat and blood for Solas' alchemy. Anaan has also taken part of the dragon's hide and Bull wonders what she will do with it as he sees the thing disappear into the bag.

Nightfall hits suddenly as always in this desert it being daylight one moment and dark the next though the transition between the day and the night paints the sky with the lurid colors of a sunset breathtaking in beauty. Anaan is sitting on a rock, above where the camp is established her pose one of meditation though Varric climbs up next to her sits quietly as she speaks her prayers knows better than to interrupt her. “Yes?” Anaan finally asks her voice rough and quiet hers never one for more speech than necessary.

“How are you doing? How is life? What is going on other than dragon slaying and fucking Bull?” Varric asks trying to see which question will get a reaction, it's the third one probably his choice of words which were deliberate. Anaan looks at Varric her silver stare never something Varric can tolerate for long, not because she is not pretty because she is but because those eyes are lifeless completely devoid of emotions which give him the creeps.

“Nothing.” Anaan finally answers smiling slightly at Varric's exasperated sigh. “You wish more from me?” Anaan finally says her eyes narrowing slightly her lips twitching into a larger grin before snapping back to passive her attention caught watching Bull as he sets dinner to cook his muscles rippling in the firelight his harness already put aside for the day.

“Yes, I do. I want more from the woman I follow all over this damn desert than one syllable answers to perfectly reasonable questions.” Varric is irritated wonders if he has overstepped the mark as Anaan turns those eyes back on him watches him quietly before finally sighing.

“I do not seek your pity Varric, I am not a character in your story you must make real or believable. I am Anaan, Inquisitor. More is not needed.” Anaan turns to watch the camp again not even noticing the effect her words have had on Varric.

“It's like talking to the damn Arishok!” Varric grouses gets up to leave only to have a strong hand placed on his arm pulling him back down. Well now he had her attention.

“You know Arishok?” Anaan asks quietly her face etched in fear.

“I have met him a few times yes, when he was in Kirkwall he spoke to Hawke on several occasions. I've even had tea with him; he's not a bad guy just difficult to talk to.” Varric admits shrugging trying to calm Anaan.

“Yes he is.” Anaan finally says her curiosity sated she turns back to the horizon.

“What happened to you? I know you were Saarebas, but when you first showed up to Haven you said you were Tal Vashoth yet you speak the prayers of the Qun. When Bull joined up you feared him yet now you bed him. You chose the Qunari alliance; you use the Qunari throne as your judgment chair.” Varric wants answers, needs someplace to put her in his mind.

“Hey, dinner's ready you two come on down.” Bull yells and Anaan is up and gone before Varric can hold her to answering the question. Once they are full though Anaan looks at Varric, knows the question eats at the man like a spell gone bad know she needs to answer.

“You ask if I am Tal Vashoth or Qunari Varric?” Anaan asks watches as all eyes land on Varric and then her.

“Yes, the question still stands.” Varric answers dinner forgotten as he watches her over the fire.

“I am Qunari, though I am forced to be Tal Vashoth. I did not choose to leave the Qun, the circumstances of my freedom were forced upon me. Though since I am Saarebas, dangerous thing I do not have an option to return to the Qun. I am denied Par-Vollen, I am denied Ataash, glory but asit tal-eb it is the way things are meant to be.” Anaan sits quietly waits for Solas to call her a mindless beast as he has Bull or for Varric to tell her she is horrible but the silence is not broken.

“What were those circumstances?” Solas finally asks trying to get his mind around the fact one of his friends wishes to live like she was. “I am sorry; you do not have to answer that.” Solas realizes what might be a painful experience for Anaan what is possibly the most painful thing she has ever been through.

“I was captured as a child by Ben-Hassrath, a raid on our village of Vashoth those not born of the Qun. All of the adults were killed their choice to leave the Qun clear in their defiance to show their children the correct path. Children were put on a ship and taken to Par-Vollen, there we were taught, molded raised to be part of the Qun. I was Saarebas, my chains my bindings even my runes were earned each a piece of me like your soul. I took pride in my bindings the control they offered me, my runes binding and increasing that control until my spells were perfect my control over my magic flawless.” Anaan speaks with a slight cadence, her voice clear showing the pride in her conditions. “We did several missions to the various parts of the empire to hunt and find Tal Vashoth and lost units, my Karataam was one of the best worked closely with Ariqun and Arishok to administer the Qun's will. But one mission did not go well, we were badly outnumbered, my Arvaarad fallen I was without direction.” Here her voice breaks a little, pain clear.

“Katoh Anaan, you pain does not need this.” Bull walks to her kneeling in front of her palm cupping her face bringing her forehead to his in a gesture of comfort.

“I will share.” Anaan finally says glancing at Solas and Varric her face empty of any emotion. Bull sighs casts Solas a murderous look but closes his eyes kissing her forehead as he shifts to sit next to her his shoulder and arm touching hers his hip in line with hers. 

“Tal Vashoth killed my Karataam; they left me and the other Saarebas alive as we were more valuable than the others.” Anaan shakes her head at this chafes her hands places them back on her knees. “They unbound me, cast off my chains loosed my tongue told me I was free.” Anaan snorts at this shakes her head. “I killed several of them not sure how to deal with my magic so free. They finally managed to subdue me, their leader; a grizzled old Vashoth convinced me I did not want to die. I did not care; fought desperately to get free so I could return to my life was finally knocked out.” Anaan places her head on Bull's shoulder sighs as he rubs her nubs of horns.

“When I awoke there was an Arvaarad there, I was so happy to see him. Found out the other Saarebas had killed himself in the night he would not accept the freedom offered but I refused. This Arvaarad did not put my bindings back on though, but he was Arvaarad controller of my fate and he bade me live so I did.” Anaan stops, looks at the group and shrugs.

“The rest Anaan, you will not stop there.” Bull rumbles.

“There is no more to tell Bull, he was my Arvaarad until he was killed at the Conclave and I became marked.” Anaan moves away from Bull she is a coward does not wish to say the rest.

“How did you learn to control your magic without your bindings?” Varric asks curious now and taking a pull from the skin Anaan offers gasps as the liquid kicks him. “Maker what is that?”

“Dragon Piss.” Bull says taking the skin from Anaan taking a swig himself.

“Pain.” Anaan says quietly looking at Varric watching his face turn into an o of surprise along with Solas. With that she heads to the pile of blankets lays down with her back to the fire.

“Keep your staff handy Solas, I am betting we are in for a helluva night.” Bull levels them both with glares before heading to the blankets lying next to Anaan pulling her against him knowing she is crying her silent tears tracking down to land in the blankets below them. “Shh Kadan, I am here.” Bull holds her waits for the storm to settle sighs as she finally drifts off to sleep.


	2. -Wrong-

Anaan wakes to her hands being held over her head with one hand Bull's other on her mouth to keep her quiet. “Venatori, close pretty decent number we need to be quiet.” Anaan twists her hips the movement off balancing Bull who wasn't expecting it and Anaan is up away from him her magic growing in her hands as she strides to the outcropping of rocks separating their camp from the Venatori. Their spell-binders are speaking softly a constant chant of spells for all the various barriers and magic they possess. Anaan looks to see Bull next to her his armor on Varric and Solas also there gazes going back and forth between Anaan's hands and the Venatori. When Anaan has a decent sized globe in her hands she casts it down into the ground her right hand guiding the globe until with a clap of her hands it pops up from under the Ventaori spreading the lightning from one to the other until half the Venatori are on the ground even as Bull lets out a war cry Varric pulling Bianca's trigger. Solas' Barrier pops between Bull and the onslaught he faces as Anaan casts globe after globe of energy at the Venatori looking to see fire falling from the sky as Solas calls on the fade to drop it where he needs it allowing Anaan to tag a couple of the meteors with energy to strike out from the meteor quickly taking out the rest.

She hits her knees, her magic spent her runes glowing then fading. When she falls forward a spasm hitting her causing her to tumble down the side towards Bull she feels her shoulder hit something hard her arm caught and wrenched wrestling a startled scream of pain from her then nothing. “Something is wrong, something is very wrong.” Solas says as Bull carries her back to the camp.

“What was your first clue Chuckles? Tiny have you ever seen something like this?” Varric asks truly terrified.

“No, I don't normally deal with Saarebas. She's the first one I have ever seen alive out of chains it just isn't done.” Bull carefully straightens her arm, knows it is badly broken knows Solas will be working on that for the rest of the night. “We need to get her back to SkyHold; we can't keep going with her like this.” The rest agree, packing up their camp in the morning Solas having healed her arm as much as he can.

“Magic does have its limits Bull; her runes make her damn hard to heal as it is. I have done all I can for the arm and her, I am not even sure who to ask to help her.” Solas is snappy, his magic and him both frayed from a night of healing or trying to as again and again his healing either bounced off of or did not stick to Anaan.

“Victory.” Bull says after they are riding for a while, Anaan having roused only slightly but staying quiet as she clung to her mount not even offering to speak. “It's what her name means in Common.”

“Very appropriate I think for our Inquisitor who seems to be victorious over whatever is put in her path.” Solas smiles slightly keeping an eye on Anaan as the mage cradles her arm, hunched close to her mount.

As they travel Anaan is reduced to a spasming mess that eventually lands her on a litter dragged behind her mount as Bull failed to maintain a hold on her when she rode with him and they hit. That incident had her falling off Bull helpless to stop her further injuring her already broken arm. Word has already been sent ahead, they are greeted by Leliana and Cullen both which dive for cover as Anaan's magic flares out encompassing her in energy and causing her Dracolisk to bolt though it was quickly caught by Blackwell. “Easy Ash, there we go big boy no need to go running for the hills when your rider decided to try and roast you.” Blackwell's voice is quiet and steady as his hands hold the beast still Bull and Cullen removing the litter nodding when they are done. Blackwell keeps his fingers away from the beast's mouth hands it one of the treats Anaan carries for it getting it into the crossties and getting it unsaddled. Anaan's gear is laid on the bench to get up to her room later. Blackwell sees the hide peeking out of the pouch, smiles knows exactly who to hand the hide to as he finishes with Ash and takes the hide to the armor smith. “Tan this please, not sure what the Inquisitor wants to do with it but it does need to be tanned properly.” Garrett nods, takes the hide as Blackwell heads into the keep with the rest of her gear takes it up to her quarters knocking then entering when he sees the door open.

“Put it over there please.” Josephine isn't even looking at Blackwell as she indicates near the closet which has Blackwell smiling at that.

“What exactly is supposed to go over there?” Blackwell says his voice rumbling out of his bearded face causing Josephine to sigh appreciatively. Josephine looks at Blackwell trying to school her features as she sees the Grey Warden his body reminding her of a bear with its thick covering of black hair though she knows that hair hides a very strong body his muscles rippling slightly as he holds the Inquisitor’s gear waiting on her response. There is a twinkle in those blue eyes as he waits for some direction from her.

“Uh, never mind. Is that her gear from Ash? That can go over by the closet actually, I will have Myra go through it and organize it later. Thank you Blackwell.” Josephine smiles slightly at Blackwell causing the man to take a breath as well, he knows under that tightly laced Orlesian vest is a very passionate Antivan whose blood runs just as hot as the city itself. Brown eyes catch him, her tongue flicks out moistening her full lips before being hidden again. Long brown fingers catch a loose black curl tucks it behind her ear as she watches Blackwell put the gear down walk closer to her his fingers itching to catch the curl she tucked to rub it between his fingers knowing it will be silk.

“Do you require anything else Ambassador?” Blackwell asks stopping just in front of her knows her body flushes with want as he says this knows she won't ask what she wants what she needs. Theirs a game of teasing of never getting past the heated glances but soon he vows soon.

“No, thank you Bull has her in the tub right now. We are waiting on an answer from the Qunari, hoping they might have an answer to what is going on with her.” Josephine says glancing back at the room that contains a tub large enough to settle both her and Bull its size that of a small lake.

“Then I leave you to your vigil; let me know if there is anything you need Ambassador I am only too happy to help.” Blackwell moves closer, intentionally making her step aside so he can pass her his body heat reaching out to her wanting to embrace her.

“If you two are done? Blackwell get out.” Bull glowers at the man indicates Josephine to close the door so he can get Anaan into her bed he doesn't want to show her lady bits to the entire castle is positive she would take offense. When Josephine would offer an explanation he holds up his hand in a stop motion. “Ben-Hassrath and Qunari Ambassador I can not only see but smell both of you want each other which I am all for it'd be good for you to loosen that corset a bit but I need your help. Did you bring what I asked?”

Josephine nods indicates the desk which holds the quill, ink and paper. Bull places Anaan on the bed, her head lolled back for all the world to see she looks dead. “Is she?” Josephine's voice is worried; taking a step closer to the bed Bull shakes his head no.

“She lives; just I can't get her to wake up. Ah there you are Solas; need you to keep a barrier up in case she decides to pulse again. Ambassador hand me the writing supplies, if you can bring something to write on close this is going to take a while.” Bull spies the small table picks it up and brings it close his eyes snapping to Anaan as she arches off the bed magic pulsing again though being contained in Solas's barrier the attack causing sweat to break out on the fellow mage's brow.

“Ripping, tearing, fear can't lose her won't lose her need her haven't told her need to tell her want to tell her.” Cole appears looks from Anaan to Bull back to Anaan.

“Kid, can you tell me what she's thinking? What's going on with her?” Bull has a slightly desperate note in his voice shuts his mouth takes a calming breath.

“Rushing, roaring, too loud too much can't hold can't contain help help help. Arvaraad, need Arvaraad.” Cole backs away shakes his head disappears as another crackle of energy flashes from Anaan this one breaking Solas' barrier as the mage hits his knees. Cole reappears looks at Bull, "What is that? What is an Arva raad?" Cole sounds the word out looks at Bull curiously.

"Qunari control, it is what or I should say who was in charge of Anaan when she was with them." Bull answers as Anaan's magic pulses again Solas barely able to get a barrier up in time. Cole vanishes again.

“Solas. You thought to contain her on your own? Dear I don't think that is possible, I will help you. We can do this Solas, Dorian is here too if needed. Now Bull do you have a plan other than looking at her with concern on your face?” Vivienne is a breath of much needed cold air to Bull's nerves as the mage looks critically over Anaan. “Her runes, they are not complete. She has damaged one of the lines, a binding line I would hazard.” Vivienne traces a line of the runes across the woman's arm sees how they trace over her torso from hip to stomach to rib disappearing as the line went onto her back,

“How do you know that?” Josephine asks always feeling inferior in the presence of the perfectly coiffed mage that towers over her the headdress coming to horns above her head making her even taller. Her tunic and pants white with silver inlay cut to show the ample cleavage Vivienne had along with being easy to move in. This outfit she currently wears worth a small fortune but to the ever fashionista mage only good enough to wear around the castle.

“I have studied many runes, was fascinated the first time I saw a Sarebaas with them on. I wish I could learn Qunlat I would love to know what they say but you need to find a rune with something through it, something that makes it incomplete.” Vivienne walks closer to Anaan looks to see Bull also searching her body for a rune that doesn't make it complete.

“I was going to copy her runes, see if I couldn't piece together what they said enough to see if there is help there it’s the only thing binding wise she still has.” Bull says putting the paper and pen aside to look at Anaan's runes.

“She has hundreds, what do they all mean?'” Josephine wonders reaching out to trace a line on Anaan's arm flinches back when the rune flashes slightly give a squeal of surprise when Vivienne yanks her back casts a barrier just in time for it to smash to bits as Anaan's magic hits it.

“She hasn't taken any damage that I know of.” Bull says rolling Anaan over to see if it might be on her back. Anaan's breast band and small clothes keep her decent though barely as Bull traces hands over her skin trying to feel or find anything that might help them.

A slight moan reaches Bull's ears as he traces down her shoulder to her back to her waist Anaan shifts her body heating slightly her hips rolling looking for relief. That movement clues him into the musk of arousal coming off her, he's not happy about the fact his body answers his arousal making it uncomfortable to stay seated on the bed makes him grit his teeth asking for control over his body again. “Vashedaan Kadan, you would do this to me.” Biting out a few phrases of the Qun Bull reaches for his calm, his training feels it unravel when another moan hits his ears sees Vivienne is tracing a line from Anaan's shoulder to her hip the line wrapping like a band around her body.

“Here, this one Bull feel this.” Vivienne keeps her finger where it is, under her rib Bull knows the line by heart it’s the one he can trace with his tongue as he thrusts in and out of her their bodies the only sound as they come together again and again. Bull traces where Vivienne's finger is feels the slight puckering of flawed skin wonders how he could have missed it curses as he realizes his claw probably caused it. He will cut them off and file them down before he will let this happen again.

“Now I just have to convince the Qunari to lend us an Arvaarad that can fix the line.” Bull gets up walks out to the balcony needs the cold air to quiet his body is back to the bed again when Anaan moans is clawing at the bed her hips helpless to find relief. When he turns he sees both women's gazes go to his pants obviously tight over his erection then back to his face even as Solas is meditating in a chair ignoring them all.

“Right, I am going to cast a barrier and grab something to eat. It should hold, let me know if she explodes again.” Vivienne waits for Bull to get to the bed casting the barrier as Josephine shakes her head.

“I am going to write the Qunari and see if I can convince them to send us an Arvaarad can you spell that please?” Bull does, “Yes, let me know if you need anything Solas, if you will help me figure out how to word this please?” Josephine drags Solas out even as the mage looks confused.

“Right.” Bull walks to the bed lays down next to Anaan, smiles as she snuggles into him drops her hand to his erection rubbing through the fabric causing him to gasp though he catches her fingers and kisses them. “Not now Anaan, you aren't even conscious. I won't let them near you when you are like this either, let’s hopes we can keep you stable for the next few days. Only you would go in heat while you are unable to do anything about it. I don't even know if you want kids, I don't even know if you want me for that. What did the Arvaarad do to you for control? You say pain but how? If you could go back to the Qunari would you? Would you accept being bound and chained again? Why you were not sterilized like the rest of the Saarebas? That means you had to have joined the Karataam when you were 17 or 18, which would make sense then why you haven't been but if you want to go back to the Qun than you don't want kids.” Anaan's magic roars out as well barely missing him as he falls off the bed feeling Vivienne's barrier crackle but hold. “We should take her out more if her barrier spell is better than Solas'” Bull states getting back on the bed curling back up with Anaan and drifting off to sleep.


	3. -Control-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seriously thanks for the love on this one. I apologize for any critical mistakes, this style is very different than my series.

“She is in here with Hissrad?” Bull hears the voice sits up grabbing his blade waiting as the door opens to reveal an Arvaarad, and two Karasaad or soldiers. It’s been two days, they must have had a unit close to get here this fast. “Hissrad, you have need of my.” Arvaarad stops his sentence when he catches the smell of a female in heat. Arvaarad stops the two Karasaad from entering waits as Josephine enters and stays on the outside of the door. “How is this possible?” Arvaarad asks looking at Bull as he keeps his blade in view.

“Anaan's runes have a problem; Bull knows which one. Just let me know what you need and I will make sure you have it. Uh Arvaarad I am sure you cannot see the rune from there.” Josephine looks back at the man looks at Bull realizes the tension.

“Ambassador I got this, thank you.” Bull remains where he is blade resting across his thighs as he regards Arvaarad waiting for Josephine to leave.

When Josephine does leave Arvaarad steps into the door and closes it behind him looks at the barrier with its cracks, he can't see Anaan from where he is but he dares not step closer knows Bull won't let him. “Hissrad how is she in heat? For her to have runes she would be acknowledged Saarebas, she would have been sterilized.”

“I don't know.” Bull answer honestly.

“How old is she? How long has she been Tal-Vashoth? How long has this been going on with the runes?” Arvaarad is using the desk as a physical barrier to keep from going to Anaan.

“I don't know.” Bull looks at Anaan on the bed turns his gaze back to Arvaarad indicates for the man to come closer. “Go to the balcony, it keeps her scent down and you can see her.”

Arvaarad does as asked looks at Anaan and sucks in a breath. “It can't be. She was taken, we thought they killed her. Anaan.” Arvaarad turns away grips the railing of the balcony hard enough for part of the stone to crumble releases it to regard her again.

“You were her Arvaarad.” Bull says it slowly, carefully.

“I am her Arvaarad, her original leash when we left Par-Vollen. When I fell in battle she and the other Saarebas were taken, my name is on her rib traces to her hip.” This admission bugs Bull more than anything else should. “After the last mission we were on she was to go back and get sterilized she would be old enough then entering her first heat. I never thought to see her again.” Arvaarad steps forward earning him a growl from Bull that sends him stepping back again clenches his fist. Arvaarad goes to the other entrance of the balcony closer to the door stays there. “She was an excellent Saarebas Hissrad she will be a boon to your unit. Her mark keeps her safe from death for the moment. Once Corepheyus is dead though, they will hunt her mercilessly it would be kinder if she had died.”

“How old is she? How long has she been Tal-Vashoth?” Bull asks the questions Arvaarad asked him.

“She's 24; she's been Tal-Vashoth for 6 years.” Arvaarad answers and walks out to get his supplies.

“Bull is with her?” Cullen asks he’s been staying out of the way though as Leliana watches the lion pace she wonders how long he will do that. Cullen’s dark gold collar on his armor the mane the man needs to embrace his sigil. For all the man wears heavy plate his grace, his presence can never be ignored when he is on the battlefield.

“Yes, he has not left her since we brought her back. Vivienne’s barriers are cast in the morning, sometimes she also uses Solas and he stays with her. Now that Arvaarad is here they should be able to fix the problem. One of the lines of her runes was broken and needs to be repaired.” Leliana waits for Cullen to stop pacing, waits for the lion to come to rest wonders if he ever does. “Cullen, you need to take better care of yourself. Rest Cullen, my reports can wait until the morning.” Leliana gets up places a hand on Cullen’s shoulder knows it to be a mistake when he spins grabbing her hand and pushing her against the wall hand to waist the other keeping her arm pinned. Leliana stays still, knows she is no match for Cullen physically also knows Cullen needs to work this out on his own. She’s never offered, he’s never asked yet she is here and he needs tips his head down to trace his lips on hers asking. They are in the War room, the map behind them even as Leliana presses her lips to his a breathy moan her answer as Cullen’s fingers dig into her waist releases her arm to place his other hand on her leg pulling it up moaning himself as his erection presses against her core.

When she wraps her arms around him deepens the kiss he is already pulling back shaking his head no. “No, this is not right. Maker I am sorry Leliana, I need to go.” His weight is gone from her his steps hurried as he leaves the war room leaves Leliana sliding down the wall wondering what went wrong.

Arvaarad waits the final three days for Anaan to not be in heat before he starts the repair on her runes. It is decided a tent with all of Arvaarad’s equipment will be erected outside of SkyHold. It is not a matter of if Anaan’s magic will react to the pain it is how much and how often. Arvaarad has brought his Saarebas with him to the tent; it is a sobering sight for Josephine and the others to realize this was Anaan’s life. Collar that sits on Sarebaas’ neck is heavy covers from chin to shoulders, the chains that lead from wrist to neck thick, the leash that hangs from Arvaarad’s hand gives the illusion he is leading a dog not a living, thinking, capable of killing you person. Hardest to face though is the mask, it covers the entire face the nose elongated truly giving the illusion of a dog.

“She wants to return to that?” Solas says in disgust as the Saarebas’ mask is removed showing the sewn lips, the passive face the claws have been trimmed along with Arvaarad’s as he checks binding on the Saarebas has him kneel at his feet near the entrance.

“You will keep her from hurting me as I bind her Saarebas. Human Saarebas yes tall one, you will keep her magic contained at all times, kneel.” Arvaarad indicates for Vivienne to kneel next to his Saarebas crosses his arms when she does not obey. “You will obey Saarebas, I do not have time to deal with you and bind her.” Arvaarad walks towards Vivienne smells her fear of him and smiles. “You are correct to fear me human, obey or be punished your choice.”

Vivienne stops retreating, takes a steadying breath as she looks at the Arvaarad, “I am not yours to command Qunari you will not treat me like a dog.”

When Arvaarad would lash out Cullen steps forward has a small smile for Vivienne’s disobedience. “If you are so well spoken of the Common tongue perhaps the word please will avail you more progress than orders.” Cullen speaks quickly to a soldier, has a chair brought for Vivienne. “Madam, if you would be so kind.” Cullen makes a show of handing Vivienne into the chair next to the Saarebas.

It is a flurry of activity as Bull brings Anaan she is wrapped up in her robe her head lolling back, white hair draped over Bull’s arm nearly reaches the ground. Scars from the manacles stand out against her skin as her hands clutch at Bull her skin an old gold fevered and is hot to the touch. Her silver eyes are closed; when they have opened they have been glassy as she has been unresponsive since the first day. Her ribs stand out prominently along with her collarbone showing the weight she has lost. Gently he places her on the table they have brought, it is barely long enough to hold her the end stopping just after her calves but it will work for this. “Clear out, no need for this audience, Anaan would not approve.” Bull is tired of the human gawkers, his nerves frayed from the constant vigil of keeping Anaan safe his body physically unable to leave her while she was in heat is still painfully aroused.

All but Arvaarad, Vivienne and Saarebas leave Arvaarad’s Karasaads posted outside of the tent to keep the curious at bay their 7ft tall visages in full paint more than enough to keep the residents of SkyHold far away. Bull steps back from Anaan, his a moment of truth as Arvaarad steps to Anaan removing the robe gently rolling her over and adjusting her to show him the line that is broken. “You bed her; you are Ben-Hassrath are you not?” Arvaarad traces the line sees the puckered skin of the broken rune looks at Bull then moves to the other table removing his helmet.

“I am.” Bull is not giving more information than needed.

“You bed a Saarebas, a Tal-Vashoth Saarebas, it is not the Qun.” Arvaarad takes out small rounded balls of mage metal places them over the burner to melt.

“What I do or not do in service of the Qun is not up to you or Arishok, have a problem with what I do take it up with Arigena.” Bull is uncomfortable with this line of questions is thankful Vivienne can’t understand any of it.

“Would she return to the Qun if she could?” Arvaarad takes the melted metal, the needle and mallet to the table Anaan lays on places them carefully there before moving the table he was using closer. If she thrashes, and she will he does not want her to hit the tools. “I will correct her rune, I need to redo the whole line, it is a binding line. I will correct any others that are needed I will get you when it is done.” It is the dismissal Bull was afraid of, he wants to rebel knows he has no grounds to stay. This is a very personal ritual between a Saarebas and her Arvaarad one that lasts a lifetime in most cases.

When Bull leaves Arvaarad looks at Vivienne, “Cast your barrier human you do not want to be roasted by her magic.” Vivienne does, glances at the other Saarebas who is murmuring slightly his hands out in front of him inches off the ground.

“Where is the barrier he cast?” Vivienne asks Arvaarad looks at the Saarebas regards Vivienne, “It will activate only if needed. Once I start this line I cannot stop, she will thrash, her magic will react but I cannot stop do you understand? I trust you to keep my Saarebas and therefore me alive.”

Vivienne sits straighter at that nods her head Arvaarad traces the line he needs, takes Anaan’s hair braids it wraps it into a bun pinning it to her head with practiced ease the act telling Vivienne this man has handled Anaan before. “Kost Anaan, Arvaarad is here, we will keep you in control relax allow the magic to stay put.” His voice is gentle allowing Anaan to relax out of habit his a voice she trusts. Manacles are placed on Anaan’s wrists the chain hooks under the table pinning her in place. Shackles are placed on her ankles a chain run from feet to wrists under the table finally a thin collar is placed on her neck several runes touched as it glows slightly when Anaan sighs in pleasure Arvaarad traces a finger down her face. “You miss your bindings; I will leave them with Bull for you if you want when you wake.”

Vivienne realizes Arvaarad has cut his claws short, the nail not going past the fingertip on either hand, watches as those hands trace the line he needs his lips mouthing a silent prayer the cadence of his voice soothing as the words are murmured far too low for Vivienne to hear as the needle and ink are set onto Anaan’s skin. Arvaarad works steadily, chanting his hands inking the runes keeping the metal just before boiling never spilling never wavering from his task. They are three runes in when Anaan’s magic pops lashing against Vivienne’s barrier as Arvaarad doesn’t stop finishes the rune he is doing places a steadying hand on the lashing Anaan.

“Peace Anaan, Arvaarad is here, peace.”

“Arvaarad, you are dead, I must have died to hear you again.” Anaan mutters, hers a fevered dream. Arvaarad keeps the chant going; varying it slightly as he soothes her continues the runes now keeping the litany of calm in the chant as well. Vivienne watches as Arvaarad slices his arm, dips the needle into the blood that flows watches as a steady stream of it flows down Arvaarad’s arm as he etches it into the ink and her skin.

It is long past nightfall, has moved onto morning before finally Arvaarad sags against the table putting the needle and mallet down, and douses the fire for the burner sits on the edge of the table when it looks like he will collapse.

“Arvaarad.” Vivienne is on her feet her barrier shimmering and then going down as she reaches out to catch him. “Karasaad.” Vivienne’s voice summons the soldiers one of which puts his head in seeing Arvaarad barely conscious moves to help him places him on the cot in the tent. “May I heal you?” Vivienne asks Arvaarad shakes his head no.

“Bind the wound if you like” Switching to Qunari, “Karasaad, her runes are functional now leave her be, do not touch her I will unbind her when I am awake.” Arvaarad grits his teeth sits up reaching for strength he does not have. Taking out his rod he places the leash back on Saarebas runs the leash through the handle secures it to the table pushes a button on the rod that forces Saarebas to place his head on his hands completely abasing himself to Arvaarad as he looks as the Karasaad. “Make sure the Saarebas is fed, both of them. Human is free to go, I will not need her again until two days have passed. He looks at the sun “Make that I will see her tomorrow I still have runes to correct on female Saarebas.” World ordered to his liking he lays back down and is asleep before Vivienne finishes his bindings on his arm. 

“Arvaarad.” Anaan is awake her face pressed into the wood of the table, she cannot move much knows she is bound.

“Saarebas. Anaan.” Arvaarad says the words slowly, carefully allows them to wash over her.

“You have bound me.” Anaan admits.

“You are happy about that, Saarebas should be bound, binding is control control is Qun you have lost that.” Arvaarad is still on the bed, watches her as she watches him.

“yes.” Anaan admits closes her eyes in defeat.

“Choice?” Arvaarad asks it is an important question.

“No. Forced. Arvaarad hold leash.”

“He lives?” Arvaarad asks after a time, watches Anaan’s face registers the shift of eyes the licking of lips knows whatever answer she gives will be the truth.

“No. Conclave.” 

Arvaarad arches an eyebrow at that. “I am not done, more runes to fix. You are out of control, bedding a Qunari that needs to stop.” 

“Why?” Anaan is curious how much Arvaarad knows about her and Bull.

“You are Saarebas.” Arvaarad doesn’t want this discussion.

“No. Tal-Vashoth.” Anaan is daring to defy, a silent Bull waits this out. He’s slipped into the tent when she was still asleep, stands in full sight of Arvaarad but not her unless she turns her head.

“Saarebas.” Arvaarad says it quietly; it is a plea and a conviction.

“Tal-Vashoth, I am denied Par Vollen, I am denied Atash, and I am denied the Qun gone, gone because you fell.” It’s the most emotion Bull’s ever heard from Anaan, she who is so controlled has lost it.

“Asit al-eb. There is no regret in the Qun. You were not meant to stay in the Qun, it saw you unworthy.” Arvaarad has sat up now walks towards Anaan his rod in his hand. Fingers trace her face; remove the proof of her feelings.

“Saarebas.” Anaan finally admits closes her eyes.

“You need to rest, I am unbinding you now.” Arvaarad leans down to undo the cuff is surprised when she moves her wrist, “no. Please, please.”

“You cannot, you are not worthy.” Arvaarad grasps her wrist unhooks the chain removing the other removes the chain from her ankles. “You may keep the cuffs for your control, I will remove the collar.” Arvaarad helps her sit up gently massages life back into her arms places one arm and then the other on his shoulders as he moves them. “Submit.” Arvaarad steps back, Anaan slides off her table lands on her knees rests slightly on her heels her hands forward head bowed allowing Arvaarad to see all of her bindings at a glance. Removing the collar Arvaarad ignores the shuddering breath the wracking chill that overtakes her.

“Rest.” Arvaarad orders, watches as she crawls to the bed he vacated and lays down. She lays facing the table, her eyes seeking and finding Bull does not offer anything of recognition as she slips her right ankle out of the covers looks to Arvaarad. “No.” Anaan bows her head another sob wracking her as she looks at the other Saarebas who is sleeping on the floor his right ankle chained to the table. It is an appalling difference to her, one she does not want and it is breaking Bull’s heart. “You have questions.” Arvaarad says to Bull, walks out of the tent Bull following.

“She rests, she may leave the tent do not bind her she is Tal-Vashoth.” Karasaad nod Arvaarad continues to walk to the castle Bull leads him to the mess hall knows food needs to be consumed. They receive glances as they walk through, Arvaarad has his helmet back on, he is not as wide as Bull but they are of the same height. Arvaarad’s skin is closer to silver than the grey of Bull’s hide. Arvaarad’s black horns are framed by the helmet going straight out and back twisting twice before ending several inches away from his skull. Once in the mess hall Arvaarad removes his helmet, placing it on the table as food is brought to them along with tankards of ale. Both men eat in silence for a time neither willing to ask or give.

Varric sees them and joins, waiting for either to say something though when it looks like they will not he asks, “So if you are alive can Anaan go back to the Qun?’ Bull shakes his head no at Varric.

“No. She is unbound, perhaps corrupted, she must die.” Arvaarad says this without emotion or infliction. “She should have killed herself; she shames the Qun with her continued existence.” That gets a rise out of Varric,

“Hey! She didn‘t choose this, she did not choose to have a damn mark in her hand or deal with all of this.” Varric waves his hand to include the castle. “That woman has dealt with more shit than anyone ever should does it without complaint, does it while no one else can.”

“Calm yourself Dwarf, you asked a question it is not my fault you did not like the answer. By the Qun she should and will die. Inquisition will not be able to hide her forever, if she does not take her own life I will be surprised, she is Saarebas, knows her duty and her crime will be punished for it.” Arvaarad shrugs finishes eating leaves.

Bull is trying to stay calm, “I know Varric, and I do not have the answer you are looking for. As Qunari I cannot challenge it, as the man who shares her bed and her heart I’ll fight it every day.”

Varric nods, takes another swig of ale. “Has she woken up since her runes are fixed?” Bull studies the dwarf; the face displays a smile that hides the pain and concern in the eyes. His hands hold the tankard a little tighter than needed, the flexing of fingers to hide the worry though Bull gives the man props for not leaning forward on bated breath as it were.

“She has. There is still more work to do, she will recover though.” Bull smiles slightly as he says this.

“Ah yes, our silent leader will be back to saying nothing and doing everything still not sure how we are going to do at the Winter Ball I’d pay money to see you two dance though.” Varric says it with a smile sees Bull’s answering grin.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Bull winks.

“Do Qunari dance?” Varric asks and Bull doesn’t answer leaves to check on Anaan.


	4. -Illusion-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW-Smut ahead

Cold, so cold and alone always alone Arvaarad has left her, been gone for days to get supplies, only one that can trade with the humans she is not allowed to go. Warmth, hand on her arm warmth as water drips cleans cuts that sting, warmth of the blood as the water hits it she must be clean. Sting, tear, cry of pain dares not lash out keep magic inside must not cast without Arvaarad. Reach, reach must reach, rough leather under fingers sob of relief now that the leather is there, foot done kicking he will run hand soothe “Arvaarad.” Anaan opens her eyes looks for the object of the name, eyes fall on Bull he who watches, quiet ever there always watching.

She opens her hand to see the leather scrap in her hand smells it, it’s not right but it soothes all the same. Bull had brought it placed it within reach of her. “Bull.” He is there in moments; crossing bending down to her level runs hand down her face places his forehead on hers kisses her strokes his thumb on her cheek as she places a hand on his wrist keeping him there.

“I missed you.” Bull offers keeps his forehead against hers as he feels her smile allows her to sit up only to pat her back and hang onto her as her stomach rebels her body breaks into a sweat as she heaves over and over finally indicating she is done Bull places the bucket outside bring her water and a cloth to wash with. 

“I need to be clean.” Anaan says looking at Bull in panic looking down at the dirty breast band sodden with her sweat looks for clean clothes and only spies the robe. “You will take me to be clean; Arvaarad will not see me like this.” Bull frowns at this is about to ask a question when Arvaarad comes in. “Arvaarad, my apologies, I am not clean.”

Arvaarad stops in his tracks tilts his head to the side as he regards Anaan then Bull. “Your Arvaarad, speak of him.”

Anaan’s entire demeanor changes, back is brought straight as she kneels on the floor her eyes fastened on Arvaarad’s her shoulders square her hands placed on her thighs her voice is clear and concise gone is the clipped wording the careful prose. “Saarebas must wash every day, hair and body kept clean at all times. Even under direct attack will not cast without permission will only cast what is directed, deviation of this is met with punishment befitting the crime. Spell not cast at target broken finger, spell cast that does not kill target broken rib, any wounds inflicted to Karasten inflicted on Saarebas. You will serve you will die.” Anaan puts her head down going back into submission.

Arvaarad walks to his Saarebas, tips the man’s head up. “Your Arvaarad, speak of him.”

Saarebas takes the same pose Anaan did intones “Control in your actions, Control in your words, your will is mine, you will provide we will serve.”

“If attacked directly?”

“Cast for protection, no use dead keep Arvaarad safe, if another Arvaarad commands obey.”

Bull watches the Saarebas as he says this, knows it is the banked response for this Arvaarad. “As Ben-Hassrath what do you do with Saarebas?” Arvaarad is curious.

“Nothing, I’ve never seen one alive past the death or capture of their Arvaarad before. Every time they have given a command and the Saarebas have killed themselves. Anaan is the first one I have ever seen alive unchained.” Bull walks forward to Anaan she does not even acknowledge he is there.

“That Arvaarad she served with was harsh, took pride in hurting his Saarebas I am not sad he is dead.” Arvaarad admits, had known the man before he had left the Qun.

Bull taps her on the shoulder Anaan stands automatically. “If you deal with her now why is she holding onto the last Arvaarad’s commands?” Bull asks putting the robe on her trying to get her to look at him, speak, something to get back to the Anaan he loves.

“I am Tal-Vashoth, denied.” Anaan answers flatly.

“If he was would the pain stop?” Bull asks cupping her face to look at him, she denies him her eyes keeps them downcast even as he sighs in frustration.

“Maybe.” Arvaarad answers causing Bull to look at him. “She is Tal-Vashoth though, I will not be her Arvaarad she is not worthy.”

Bull doesn’t argue, lets the anger roll off of him as he leads Anaan out of the tent and back into the castle. Anaan doesn’t wear boots unless her toes are in danger of falling off from heat or cold so Bull takes her as she is, sliding into the back entrance of the Tavern and across the bridge onto the balcony of the keep and finally into her quarters. News will spread the Inquisitor is back in the Keep but Bull can control the influx better in her quarters. Water is quickly running for the bath, oils put in towels placed so they will warm.

Josephine arrives shortly with food and water smiles as Bull nods his head in thanks. “I know she is not done but I thought she would not want fanfare we are keeping a lid on the fact she is back in the keep to the best of our ability. Certain ones will want to see for themselves she is alive and well.” Josephine warns glancing behind her to see Cullen on the stairs.

“She is in the bath, give us an hour please and she’ll take limited visitors.” Bull shuts the door on any protests carries the tray to the bathroom smiles when he sees Anaan already in it her eyes closed as the steam curls up bringing him the scent of honey and Embrium. Bull places the tray of food close to Anaan, smiles as she grabs the herb spiced cheese pops a cube into her mouth savors it. Bull gets into the tub as well, his form causing the water to slide over the top onto the floor a bit turning off the water he regards Anaan carefully.

“I am sorry Kadan.” Bull finally says causing Anaan to tilt her head in question at him. “My claw, it must have caught your runes, it was why the line was broken. I will keep them short from now on.” Bull shows his hands, the missing claws evident even as Anaan reaches out and takes one takes his finger in her mouth and sucks. Bull’s groan is instant his finger replaced with his mouth his hands on her waist pulling her to him wanting needing to claim her as his, needing their physical bond more now that she’s been handled by another Qunari his temper not okay with that Qunari’s name being etched into his lover’s skin. 

Anaan strokes him is smiling as she traces kisses across his jaw uses his horns as leverage to straddle him moaning as he thrusts inside meets him the water forming a tornado having Anaan biting carefully just under Bull’s ear even as he roars his release keeping her close as she places her head on his chest out of breath and languid. “Eat Kadan, you need to eat and rest today. None of this run all over the place and do everything today you need rest.” Anaan snags a grape pops one into her mouth pops another into Bull’s mouth. There is a fresh hock of ham on the plate Anaan tears into feeding herself as well as him though he waves it off after a while.

“Food is for you, not me I already ate with Varric, do you want me to heat the water again it’s getting cold.” Bull moves though Anaan snags his arm,

“Leave it, feels good cold.” Anaan states returns to eating.

“You don’t like it hot?” Bull asks curious,

“Uncomfortable against runes.” Anaan admits with a shrug.

“So for months you’ve been uncomfortable with the bath and never said anything?” Bull is a bit pissed, both at his inability to realize she was not happy and for not asking. Anaan doesn’t respond merely waves a hand to Bull as if to say you prefer it hot I don’t care. “Anything else I do that you don’t like?”

Anaan thinks about this for a moment shakes her head no moves to get out of the water the tray empty of food. Finally out Anaan quickly dries herself magically waits for Bull to get out casting the small spell on Bull who smiles as his skin glows slightly with the use of the fire. Getting a fresh set of clothes Anaan wraps the scarf looking material around her tying it to stay off the runes as much as possible showing off most of her back and ribs smiling as Bull eyes her in appreciation. Skirt with a high slit complete the outfit as she brushes, braids and pins her hair into place the way Arvaarad did.

Bull answers the door, Anaan hears him sigh in exasperation as the companions crowd in regards them quietly as they drag chairs of various forms Cullen and Blackwell bringing in a couch carrying it out to the balcony. Bull grabs Anaan’s favorite chaise handling it easily out to the balcony as well. Vivienne comes in orchestrating the food which fills a couple of tables walks across to where Anaan is standing taking the woman’s hand offering a small smile. “It is good to see you up and looking much better, gave us a scare there for a bit.”

Anaan instinctively catches Sera as the elf throws herself at Anaan for a hug, holds her away wondering why Sera wants to touch her.

“Explain.” Anaan demands still holding the elf her arms pinned easily off the ground as Sera struggles.

“I wanted to hug you, you scared us. Big cranky horns are here. I was afraid they might take you with them, they won’t will they?”

Anaan knows her face changes briefly reflects the pain of being left before she schools it back to the usual mask sets Sera down. “No.” Anaan keeps her hands on Sera leans down to be in Sera’s face slightly. “Enough.”

Sera nods, backs away Anaan heads out to the balcony with the rest of the group perches on the lounge waits for Bull to sit and pull her against him, adjusting her to not be against him with the runes still hurting.

“How are you feeling Darling?” Dorian asks lounging on a chair his body a study of perfection in human form.

“Fine.” Anaan finally answers after taking stock of how she is feeling. “I have more runes to go but my magic is contained, feels good to have these on.” Anaan holds out her wrists to show the shackles and a foot to show off the metal there. “I was denied my collar but these are fine for now.” Anaan runs a finger over the metal on her wrist.

“Wait you want to be like the other Saarebas? Am I saying that correctly?” Josephine asks a slight frown on her face.

“No. I am Tal-Vashoth, not Saarebas.” Anaan answers automatically.

“But you would accept them to chain you like that again if you could?” Dorian is shocked, appalled.

“Yes.” Anaan answers absently rubbing a finger across the mark on her neck from the collar.

“You’ve been away from the Qun; you would go back if they would let you?” Blackwell asks not sure how to deal with this information.

“They don’t understand, lost lost you are lost, need direction need control want to belong, alone alone alone.” Cole reaches out to Anaan smiles when she touches him with just her fingertips.

“Explain it to us.” Solas tries even as Anaan and Bull are both shaking their head no.

“I am not Tamassran to guide you, even speaking to me makes you not worthy of the Qun no.” Anaan says it quickly, fiercely looks at Bull’s hand as he places it on her shoulder using two fingers to stoke her. “Leliana report.” Anaan catches the red head in her gaze tries to smile encouragingly at the woman.

“Anaan, try that with less teeth unless you really do want to eat her.” Varric offers smiles encouragingly at her as Anaan tries again. “Better.” Vivienne chimes in.

“Still a lot of rifts to close, the ball is less than 4 weeks away and we need to start preparing for that.” Leliana tilts her head to the side a bit.

“How are you going to prepare the Orlesian court for her? There isn't a great way to introduce her; she'll scare most of the nobles away.” Vivienne is honest in her assessment.

“Conversation is certainly not her strong suit.” Varric admits shrugging when Anaan looks at him.

“Do I not answer your inquires?” Anaan is confused though her face displays no emotion at all.

“Yes but holding a conversation, it is more than answering questions. It is holding their interest, it is sharing of commonalities.” Dorian finally admits.

“I am not human, they are not of the Qun there are no commonalities.” Anaan tries the new word out sighs in frustration when it is mangled and tries again until she has it right.

“Do you have any funny stories about any missions you did? Kind of like Krem does with the Chargers?” Blackwell asks shares a plate of fruit with Josephine their fingers dancing on the plate as they each grab a piece their skin touching briefly.

“No.” Anaan answers looking at Bull biting her lip slightly, rubbing her horn absently. When she does it again a few minutes later Bull looks at the others knows Anan is tired and needs rest.

“She is alive and well, you have bugged her enough now go away.” Bull rises glaring at the companions and they beat a hasty retreat knowing better than to cross Bull when it comes to Anaan. Bull takes the couple of messages from Leliana the bard brought promising to have Anaan look at them and respond before the sun is down places them on the already large stack on the desk shutting the door behind the last of the guests. Anaan is already headed to the bed her fingers undoing the shirt freeing her to her breast band and small clothes. “Rest.” Bull orders frowns when he feels how feverish her skin is. “Are you okay?” Bull asks as Anaan lays in the bed her head on her pillow her hands above the covers her right leg out of the covers begging for a shackle and chain.

“I am.” Anaan answers and closes her eyes slowly fighting the sleep her body desperately needs.

Slice to the ribs, tears of the flesh she feels it part knows it is fingertip away from her line of runes know Arvaarad would never damage them. Stick wrapped carefully, never break skin, cannot break skin connects with her back. Her target was not killed, managed to get away she must pay she must always pay. Series of blows across her back each one delivered carefully right on top of the other most impact least amount of effort that is the Qunari way. “Anaan, wake Kadan!”

Anaan falls off the bed landing on her side her ribs smarting from the impact knows her arm will protest later as she curls up on herself it is the wracking pain, the memories they will not let go will not let her rest. “Anaan. I am here.” Bull repeats this litany looks at the Arvaarad who stands near the balcony door. “Help her please.” Bull is out of options cannot watch Anaan go through this for the rest of her life.

“Kost, Maaras shokra. Peace there is nothing to struggle against. Kost Anaan Arvaarad is here.” Arvaarad walks to her in three steps places a hand on her forehead strokes as this is repeated until the last wrack of pain is done with a shuddering breath Anaan opens her eyes.

“Arvaarad.” Anaan says it like a prayer and a chant her eyes clearing of the pain she struggles to her knees stays abased as she is supposed to.

“I will not see you suffer, I will train Bull as your Arvaarad.” Arvaarad makes the decision quickly cannot see this one suffer when he can end it. “What I teach you, what I show you cannot be shared. You will do this only to her and only when she needs it. I know you have some of this training already; you are well suited to the task. Let me finish her runes and I will teach you as we go. I cannot teach you the runes, too many years of training for that but I can teach you to control her, how she ticks so this does not happen.” Arvaarad strokes a finger down her back notices Anaan arches to keep the contact for as long as possible.

“Your price for this?” Bull is skeptical knows there is always a catch.

“Control her.” Arvaarad says it quickly knows this needs to be done. “This is your choice, as her Arvaarad this decision is yours. I teach you she ties her fate to yours, if she is out of control you forfeit your life and hers.”

Bull looks at Anaan, knows she will accept whatever choice he makes. If she is looking for control he can take her there, he has the training already, knows Arvaarad offered this out of mercy. “Think on it for now I need to get her under control, you will leave.” Arvaarad strides to the door asks for his supplies from one of the Karasaad waits until the man comes with a bundle the other Saarebas is kneeling near the far table. “Hissrad leave.” Arvaarad does not look at him as Bull does leave goes down to the Tavern.

“Bull? I take it Anaan is resting?” Krem asks waving for another tankard from Cabbot brings it to his leader.

“Yes she is resting.” Bull takes the tankard slams half of it back in a gulp slams it back on the table. “Damn I needed that.”

“Something wrong?” Krem asks not sure how to handle Bull when he has the far off look in his eye it is usually something really bad or funny.

“Maybe, don't know. Have to think it out, figure out how to handle things.” Bull admits finishing the Tankard accepts another from Cabbot as the man sets it down headed back to the bar.

“Talking it out sometimes works too.” Krem offers even as Bull shakes his head no.

“I appreciate it but I need to figure this one out on my own, no way to really explain it to you so you will understand.” Bull slams that tankard back heads up to the second level of the tavern steers clear of Sera heads up to the third floor.

“He hurts her but she needs it, wants it, and begs for it. Needs control must be controlled stinging soothing steady rhythm. He will help her, wonders where Bull is wants him to see her in control she is happy.” Cole answers watching Bull as he says this.

“Thanks kid you do always know what I need.” Bull smiles.

“I helped!” Cole is excited his blue eyes happy his face glowing.

“Yes you did, you always do Cole good work.” Bull heads across the bridge to the keep doesn’t bother to knock when he gets to Anaan’s room stops when he sees the room empty.

“Woods, near where the tent is nothing to secure her to here. He was disappointed.” Cole says it quietly as Bull is moving quickly.

Without Cole’s help he’d never have found them there is no sounds, Anaan is stretched between two trees her body taut as she fights the binding. Both her and Arvaarad are covered in sweat Bull realizes she is blindfolded Anaan turns towards his steps, “Bull.” It is a surprise and a pleasure he is there.

“Hissrad. You do not need to be here.” Arvaarad walks towards Bull blocking him.

“I do.” Bull crosses his arms Arvaarad looks back at Anaan nods.

“Your presence relaxes her, I will adapt.” Arvaarad walks to Anaan places a hand on her waist curses as Anaan arches away the movement tightening the bindings her magic simmers Arvaarad looks to his Saarebas, “Hold her.” Saarebas nods, his hand out towards Anaan the barrier around Anaan shimmers in the moonlight. “Conquer your fear Anaan, control your reaction.” Arvaarad demands nods as she stays still for a hand on her leg. “This is not sexual, this is for control. She must accept what is done to her, she must accept what I do to her what you do to her. This conditions her for battle, to accept your decisions to trust you will keep her safe, she will keep you alive. She has been damaged, her control lost she cannot function like this.” For every touch she accepts Arvaarad loosens the bindings allows her closer to the ground. “None but Arvaarad and Saarebas need this, none but us can accomplish this.”

Bull nods in understanding. When Anaan flinches as her ribs are touched Arvaarad pulls her back up Bull watches as Anaan grits her teeth which earns her another pull she releases the jaw her slackening in acceptance Arvaarad releases her an inch. “If I throw water on you than you are wet, if you hold a shield in front of you it blocks the water you are the shield you are her way of controlling her magic of herself.” Arvaarad touches her face nods as she doesn’t even flinch lowers her farther still. Anaan is only a few feet from the ground her body has started to tremble though. “We are done.” Arvaarad announces finishes lowering her to the ground even with Anaan would protest a clench of jaw a tightening of her shoulders.

“Accept Anaan, accept.” Anaan relaxes her body waits as Arvaarad releases her arms and legs massages life back into them. “I cannot undo years of damage in a few hours’ time Anaan, I can fix you.” Bull is working on Anaan’s legs making sure she is not hurt by the ordeal she winces slightly when he moves her ankle. “He broke it at one point. Why did you receive this?” Arvaarad asks Anaan thinks, “Another Saarebas tried to run, we all received the same punishment.”

Arvaarad shakes his head no, “That is not how this works, that does not make them better.” Arvaarad looks at the other Saarebas. “Saarebas need?” Saarebas nods as Arvaarad walks to him places his forehead on the Saarebas grabs the forearms who does the same. “I have you; you have me you did well.” Saarebas finally lets go Arvaarad steps back finishes getting the ropes putting them away grabbing the leash of his Saarebas ignores Anaan as she looks longingly at Sarabaa’s chains and bindings her wrists now bare.

“Ready for bed?” Bull asks helping her get dressed Anaan nods.

“Eat.” Bull nods takes her back to the castle as Arvaarad stops at the tent, “Dawn Anaan, I have to work on the runes.” Anaan nods follows Bull even as he does not touch her thinks better of it runs a hand down her arm which she leans into. “Touch.” Anaan places a hand on Bull’s back she always walks behind him slightly used to a leash connecting her.

“I will if you want.” Bull says it quietly his voice promises much.

Dawn has Anaan back on the table Arvaarad securing her quickly Vivienne back in her chair as Arvaarad sets the pot and needle with the mallet. “How often does this have to be done with Saarebas?” Vivienne asks eyeing the Saarebas at her feet notes the lines that cross his arms as she can see them.

“She is the first one I have ever had to re-ink. Arvaarad added his own runes to her, did not link them correctly. It is like the verses of a song, take a line out here and there and the entire song is different. You can add in more lines but the song is different warped.” Arvaarad regards Vivienne wonders if the mage has any more questions but won't ask.

“Karasaad said I was limited to one question a day, thought all night for that one if we do this again tomorrow I will come with another one.” Vivienne smiles slightly at Arvaarad's lifted eyebrow.

“I will not always answer your question Saarebas but I will try.” Arvaarad ends the discussion by starting on the rune it is the silence of the hammer the sharp intake of breath on occasion of Anaan or the sound of the hammer being laid down as Arvaarad soothes or adjusts her.

“Katoh.” Anaan finally says when the sun is almost set her back a bloody mess of marks and she cannot stand the pain anymore.

“It is enough, 5 runes in a day you did well. We will continue tomorrow.” Arvaarad releases her from her bindings massaging legs and arms brings cloth and water over gently getting the blood off. Releasing her hair Arvaarad massages her head gently, fingers keeping the strokes long to keep from tangling her hair. Vivienne realizes Anaan is crying, her forehead resting on the table so Arvaarad can get to her head easily. When Anaan's breathing returns to normal, Arvaarad finger combs her hair braids and secures it. “It looks good this long, more maintenance but I can see the appeal. Sleep here or back at SkyHold?”

Anaan grabs Arvaarad's wrist when he would move it off her shoulder blinks slowly. “Here then, Vivienne we are done for the day. I will send for you if we require you again, I thank you for your help.” When she would speak he holds up his hand. “I know you have more questions and I will need you again before the runes are done but not for several days. You may ask as many questions as days pass. Fair?” Vivienne nods and leaves.

“Arvaarad, food.” Karasaad brings in plates waits as both of the Saarebas kneel on the ground are handed their plates. When Bull comes in it is to see Arvaarad and Karasaad sitting on the ground with the Saarebas eating in companionable silence though they do look to see Bull motioning him over. “There is plenty if you want it.” Bull takes the offered plate does dish himself up.

“Anaan stays here.” Arvaarad finally comments getting up and getting the plates stacks them for one of the Karasaad to deal with pulls out an extra bedroll sets it up quickly places it away from the others. “We will be done with her back about mid-day tomorrow if she holds. You may collect her then; I will not start her front for two days after that she will need the break. There are 10 runes on her front that need to be corrected then she will be done.” Arvaarad waits for Bull to ask questions or acknowledge there is an agreement.

Bull nods heads to Anaan who grabs his wrist when he would stroke her. “Bull rest.” Bull nods places his forehead on hers kisses it softly smiles when she places a hand on his face. Never reaching for his left side, the side he cannot see out of.

When he gets there the next day she is gingerly sitting up her hand on Arvaarad's shoulder as her stomach is emptied into a bucket. “No hot water on the runes. No issues last night if she has another attack let me know.” Arvaarad takes all of the shackles and manacles off but one. “You may keep this for your obedience and acceptance for your Control and trust.” Arvaarad’s fingers are lightly on the manacle.

Joy pure unadulterated joy is on Anaan’s face it is a sucker punch he didn’t expect to feel when he sees the emotion knowing not once has he ever gotten that look from her. Anaan looks to him looks to the cuff as if showing it off and Bull can’t help the smile and nod as she gets off the table Arvaarad keeps a hand on her to steady her. “Panahedan Arvaarad.” Anaan says it quietly she is already under control her momentary joy stashed in the presence of others. Anaan takes the black scarf material wraps it quickly Arvaarad smoothing a line adjusting as she dresses nods when he steps back.

Bull contains the rage noticing the shirt frames the Arvaarad’s name on her back waits as Anaan crosses to him runs a hand from elbow to wrist smiles slightly at that. She is not ashamed of him, claims him openly when others would not. “Judgment.” Anaan says as they walk back to the keep up the steps various people either bowing or staying out of her way.

“Today or tomorrow?” Bull asks as they enter the main hall his eyes falling on the Qunari throne Anaan has always used as her Judgment Chair smiles as he sees the Inquisition banner draped over it a way to make it not as Qunari.

“Tomorrow, Petition today.” It's not the relaxing he wanted but he can't argue with her here in the hall. Bull watches as Anaan climbs the steps to the dais, back straight her pants hug her thighs her feet bare as are her arms runes tracing most of her exposed skin shimmering under the light from the windows behind the throne. When Anaan does sit on the throne her legs crossed at the thigh her arms resting on the throne she looks like a queen with the light from the windows caressing her and the throne she looks like a conquering queen. “Petition.” Anaan’s voice is not loud, doesn’t need to be. Cullen looks to her with a nod of her head Cullen roars the word his a voice long given to orders on the battlefield as the room quiets the nobles knowing if they want anything from the Inquisitor she will answer them now.

“Lord Hurulin.” Cullen says the name as the man in question approaches the dais, knows better than to set a foot on the dais.

“Inquisitor, when you confronted Corepheyus at Haven you buried the town. Now that most of the snow has melted I petition to be allowed to try and rebuild it. I would petition to collect and bury the dead.” Anaan looks at the man looks at Cullen and considers.

“State plainly how Inquisition can help you.” Cullen demands Anaan nods.

“Troops for protection, contacts for materials, a few people to actually do the work.” Anaan debates this, letting people return to Haven is not a bad thing, SkyHold already pretty full but they might be a target for the Venatori as well as Corepheyus.

“If you return to Haven you will be a target for the Venatori, Corepheyus himself. If that does not deter you I will not stop you from this will give my support.” Anaan’s voice is clear words clipped.

Lord bows and leaves as Cullen announces another, most are bids of favor which Anaan denies, some are offers of contacts those she sends to the appropriate people. Her voice is hoarse from use the sun sinking with glorious bands of light as Anaan stands walks towards Cullen takes his hand to help her walks with him to Josephine’s office. “We were not ready for that but I am glad you did it.” Cullen smiles to take the sting out of the rebuff.

“Judgment tomorrow, they have waited enough.” Anaan says instead of explaining herself to Cullen. It’s one of the most refreshing things about Anaan, no excuses no second doubts just forward always forward accepting whatever consequences there are.

“Okay.” Josephine does not argue would find more of an opponent with a wall.

“Leliana, Bull did not give me the messages to deal with.” 

“I know which is why they are there.” Leliana points to the corner of Josephine’s desk Anaan picks up the messages frowns as she glares at the words concentrating on what they say.

“Who taught you the Common tongue to read?” Josephine asks seeing Anaan struggle.

“Kithshok though I knew some as a child.” Bull walks in then sees her looking at the papers.

“Enough you need rest.” Bull is growling Anaan does not answer levels him with a gaze.

“You did not hold to your word Bull, now I must deal with it. You know the information tell me what it is, Leliana you will as well.” Bull clenches his jaw knows it for the insult it is. He’s offended Anaan by lying to Leliana it’s the most public admonishment she can give him to not trust him to give her all of the info. 

“Zevran killed one of my assassins trying to get to a Ventaori Magister; he offers his services to complete the task.” Leliana indicates the missive in the first pile.

“He was one of the companions for the blight was he not?” Josephine asks sees the smile and nod of Leliana. Bull notices the flush of check and the quick intake of breath quickly hidden, ah so that is who makes the spymaster blush.

“Yes.” Anaan states handing the paper back to Leliana glances at the next one.

“Ben-Hassrath reports about Venatori movement in Fallow Mire, there is also a note from Scout Harding saying the Avaars are holding some of our men that the chief challenges you.” Bull glances at her waits for her to confirm what he says with her own eyes.

“Cullen, Josephine, make preparations for me to go to the Mire.” Anaan stops for a moment. “I will be done with the corrections to my runes by the end of this week; I will leave the following day.”

“Anaan, you will need rest.” Bull tries knows it is useless.

“No. I will not have people held hostage longer than necessary.” Anaan looks at the date on the report. “They have been there nearly a month already, Vashedan!” Anaan takes a breath lets it out. “Never again.” Anaan levels Leliana with a gaze waits as the spymaster shifts and finally nods.

“Last one is a request by a local boy on the border for weapons and help to deal with some Venatori that have taken up residence in the town killed most of the residents there.” Bull offers waiting for Anaan to respond sees the sweat pop on her brow, sees the subtle shift in her stance she is exhausted, in pain and still standing by sheer determined will alone. Cullen looks at Bull their eyes meeting in agreement.

“Send him what he needs; recruit him if possible he is brave.” Anaan hands the paper to Cullen. “Josephine, ball.”

“Enough.” Bull is growling notices the slight crackle of Anaan’s magic engages in the battle of wills silently as Anaan glares at him. Anaan capitulates before Bull does looking away and back to Josephine.

“Quickly.” Anaan waves for Josephine to continue refuses to look at Bull.

“Dance Master is here, Vivienne and I can work on your court manners, and Dressmaker is here as well we will be ready for the social aspect of the Ball.” Josephine is good at being quick.

“As for the plot, we have sent several messages to Celene none of which are getting through lending to the thought this is someone close to her plotting this. Top runners are Gaspard and Brialla both of whom I will give you more details on after you rest.” Leliana tilts to the side regarding Anaan knowing Bull would ring her neck if she kept going.

“I am fine.” Anaan regards each of them quietly, paces to the fireplace reaches out to make the flames dance. It is a petty show off trick Dorian showed her as a way to endure himself to her and fill the silences between them. Anaan looks at her advisers realize they are all looking at the flames reaches and pulls for the flames bringing some out of the fireplace to dance on her hands. With a flick of her fingers there is a dragon flying in her hands the control exact in the way the wings beat in the little figures of her and companions under the dragon.

“Leave it to you to take a parlor trick and turn it into a way to show me up.” Dorian shakes his head at the display having felt the magic pull. Anaan sets mini bull racing to the dragon clapping her hands together as they clash raining sparks down dissipating the flames. Anaan sags with fatigue after the display her runes fading as her magic stopped; she places her hand on Bull’s arm still warm from the flames.

“That was amazing Anaan, thank you.” Leliana finally recovers inclines her head to Anaan as Bull walks her to the door.

“Dorian?” Anaan turns to face the fellow mage but Dorian shakes his head no.

“I felt the pull, came to investigate nothing more rest Inquisitor.” Dorian is lying she can smell it on him.

“Lie.” Anaan turns and faces Dorian. “You would lie to me.” Anaan’s runes faintly glow her magic not leaking yet Dorian looks at Bull sighs.

“Damn Quanri and your sense of smell, wrong choice of words on my part as well peace Anaan it will keep.”

Anaan lets a globe of magic form in her hand, “Lie to me again Dorian, and forfeit your life. EXPLAIN!” Anaan had not yelled merely commanded Dorian.

Dorian crosses his arms reaches out to the fireplace a ball of flames in his hand. “Two can do this Anaan; I merely wanted to save the information for another day. It is not critical it will keep. You are exhausted, your magic control is impressive but this display is pointless. I did not mean to offend you.” Dorian waves his hand the flames dousing crosses his arms to regard Anaan.

“There is a movement in Minrathos to publicly support the Inquisition, Dorian wonders if we can publicly support the Magistar or would that not be acceptable.” Josephine supplies smiling slightly as all in the room look at her in surprise.

“Thoughts?” Anaan asks of Josephine.

“No. It is not a good idea to support the Magisters, you cannot be seen to support the Imperium with Corepheyus loose, and then again the magister is very powerful if we can maneuver them to denounce the Venatori publicly it might be a good idea.”

“They’d never do that.” Bull shakes his head no and Dorian nods in agreement.

“No support.” Anaan lets the magic go is grateful when Bull puts a hand under her elbow.

“Parshaara, enough.”

“asit tal-eb.” Anaan answers allowing Bull to lead her up to her rooms smiles when food arrives shortly taking it to Anaan who sits at the table barely awake.

“Eat then bed.” Bull demands Anaan nods does eat sinks onto the bed gratefully waits as Bull gets ready for bed snuggles against him to drift off almost immediately.


	5. -Comfort-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW- Lots of smut

When Anaan rises the next day there is breakfast ready which she pads over to eating and reading the various missives on her desk smiling when she sees Myra come in moving quietly around the room. Myra is a human woman, petite and quick in her movements. Josephine had hired her to help the Inquisitor personally which had taken some adjustment on both their parts but now Myra is a welcome addition the quiet hum of her voice causing Anaan to relax unconsciously. “Inquisitor, the hide you wanted cured is done. The armorsmith has it, is waiting for your instructions with it.” Myra smiles as she says this.

“Thank You.” Anaan finishes her food waits as Myra hands her a scarf for a top, smiles as the girl deftly winds it around Anaan as she has been taught. “Well done, do you have time to learn the formal one?” Myra nods as Anaan unwinds the material heads into the closet noticing the neat stacks of cloth lined up and selects a turquoise material edged in silver pulling the soft gray pants that go with it.

Pulling the pants on Anaan goes back out and takes off the other top Myra folds it sets it on the bed for the moment then thinks better of it unfolds it to mirror Anaan’s movements as she shows her how to do the pattern. “Each way this is worn is a symbol. Just as the warrior’s paint has meaning behind it so does this. Each fold tells of intention, each color a hint of purpose there is purpose in the Qun, every action planned identified executed to the best of your ability.”

Bull watches as Anaan shows Myra how to do the complicated formal style until the human has it right helps Anaan with hers. “Well done.” Anaan offers a small smile Myra nods runs a hand down Anaan’s arm in thanks. Anaan sees Bull nods her head as he approaches. “I have tasks to accomplish this morning before judgment. Lunch?” Bull nods presses his lips to hers just needs to taste her keeps his body separate from hers does not want to mess up the formal attire. “You approve.” Anaan rubs her forehead against his knows he is very aroused.

“Watching you do that was one of the hottest things ever and I cannot wait until I get to take this off of you slowly with my teeth, licking each square inch of skin as I unwrap it.” Her response is a heated flush of skin as she steps away from him his words lighting fires on her skin but she clams herself. Anaan does not tease him more, walks out the door with him on her heels until Varric calls him over. “Tonight.” Bull promises Anaan nods and continues to the armorsmith.

When he hands her the dragon hide she takes a deep breath of it her eyes dilating her body relaxing automatically yes this is perfect. “What did you want that for anyways?” Blackwell asks watching her with the hide.

Anaan looks over at the warrior wonders if she should tell him or if Bull will find out thinks it’s worth a shot. “Bracers. For Bull.” Anaan says gauging Blackwell’s response.

“Good thinking, hide will protect him from fire and treated with the correct things during the smithing will also provide electrical and cold protection.” Blackwell nods in approval.

Anaan nods hands the hide back to the smith. “Dye them black, use these for measurements.” Anaan hands over Bull’s old set of Bracers.

“Use the same kind of buckles and straps, Bull likes that kind.” Blackwell adds earning a nod from Anaan. “I’m sorry Inquisitor, I should not.”

Anaan waves it off, “You are familiar I am not.”

Blackwell nods. “Ash is pining after you; you might stop by the stable to assure him you live.” Anaan tilts her head to regard Blackwell knows these sentimental things are for the humans but nods walks to the stable stopping by the kitchen for fresh meat which Ash appreciates as the head nods. Anaan runs a hand gently down the beasts nose is careful to not get too close knows Blackwell keeps a hand on its neck to push it if needed to keep the Dacoslisk from harming Anaan. “Easy Ash, I know you’re excited but no need to try and fly out of there you can’t escape.” Blackwell settles the thing down offers Anaan a smile as the beast responds chewing slightly lowering its head.

Anaan turns at the messenger that runs up to her watches as Blackwell moves slightly to protect her. “They are ready Inquisitor.” Messenger says breathlessly eyes Blackwell with the hand on his sword. Anaan nods her head walks with Blackwell and the messenger back into the castle. Blackwell stops at the edge of the crowd that has gathered near the dais watches as the crowd parts for Anaan sees Arvaarad and his men in the gathered crowd.

First up is a group of Mercenaries that had been preying on those that would try to get to SkyHold. “Mercenaries is not what you are, you are thieves murderers, rapist. Mercenaries work for coin you take it. Kill them, men who do not value life, make those less than they are suffer needlessly do not deserve their lives.” Anaan waits for the next criminal is greeted with a merchant looks to Josephine for clarification. “This is the man who poisoned the children? This is the man who tried to poison me?” Josephine nods. “Administer his own poison to him he will perish of it himself. Distribute his wealth to the families of those he killed his family may keep his business so they may try to atone for the damage he has done.”

Finally there is a minor commotion when the next prisoner is led in. His clothes are fine, his bearing regal he is not afraid he is defiant and he also makes Josephine nervous. “Ambassador?” Anaan asks watches the woman as she edges closer to the dais away from the prisoner. “Anything to do with why he is here?” Anaan seeks out Bull watches Bull as he studies Josephine waits for him to nod. “Speak.” Anaan cuts off the denial before it can be spoken.

“This is Bann Jumal of Craig’s Feet. He was one of our first and only supporters when the Inquisition formed. But then he deiced to work with the Venatori stood by as his tenants were used as blood sacrifices for the Venatori spells.” Josephine stays silent after that.

“He harmed you personally.” Anaan puts the smells together in her head watches as Blackwell takes a step towards the Bann. “Speak Bann, defend yourself if you are so inclined.” Anaan waits for the Bann watching him carefully knows beneath the sullen exterior is a man who is used to getting his way. She doesn't see the dagger coming at her until it is too late, feels it sink into her chest even as her magic leaves her hand to incinerate the man on the spot her training to complete the spell too ingrained into her to notice the knife as she strides off the dais walking towards the man to confirm the kill even as the man’s body is smoking from her spell she knows better than to not confirm the kill sheer determination keeps her on her feet as blood seeps from the wound staining her clothes knife still in.

“Inquisitor!” Anaan flicks her eyes to the voice realizes there is a shimmering globe of electricity surrounding her and the target which is why there is no one near here now. It’s Cullen she hears and she focuses her magic allowing the Commander in who rushes to her as she kneels near the body.

“He is dead.” Anaan confirms dropping the barrier after confirming there is no one else attacking.

“Yes, you are injured though.” Anaan yanks the blade out feels Solas’ magic trying to heal knows it won’t.

“Katoh Solas, asit tal-eb. I will heal it leave it be.” Anaan cauterizes the wound her only show of discomfort a slight gasp as she stands walking towards Bull who has the guard that led the prisoner in. Anaan doesn’t even pause as she walks to the cowering human grabbing him electricity crackling along her palm lifting him by the throat.

“Arvaarad. Your command?” Anaan is speaking only in Qunlat to the spectators it looks like she is going to choke the man to death.

“Your choice.” Arvaarad answers arms crossed his other Saarebas leashed behind him.

“Inquisitor he may have vital information.” Josephine pipes up. 

Anaan holds the man closer to her speaking very clearly, “You wish to kill me you will have to do better than that Bas, run tell your masters of your failure. I look forward to the next attempt.” Anaan drops him into a heap walks up to the dais faces the crowd before she sits down, “Any other challengers or was this Bas the only one?” Anaan does not yell she does not have to. Each word is said quietly; carefully clearly it is an open challenge though none are surprised when a Templar does step forward.

“Ser Lavius, You I look forward to defeating.” Anaan catches the staff Cullen tosses her.

“You will not besmirch the Maker and his bride’s name any longer.” Ser Lavius is one of the few Templars that has actively preached against Anaan both as Inquisitor and as herald.

“Your god and his bride mean nothing to me Templar I was not chosen by your god in that we both agree. To win this you must take my life are these terms you agree to?” Lavius agrees with a smite the force of it driving Anaan to her knees.

“Now that is how you should be in front of me Heathen, on your knees. Now let’s see you cast your magic bitch.” He is walking towards her to kick her is surprised when she is up smacking at him with her staff. Anaan doesn’t reach for her magic knows it is not there as the Templar comes at her with his sword he is good, she’s been wounded but she’s taller, stronger and far more determined. Theirs is a fast dance of give and take he brings his sword in a slash down that Anaan catches at chest level sends him sprawling with a planted foot twirls the staff ready to attack again sees the Templar is reaching for smite again can’t get to him fast enough when it hits slamming into her blood gushing from her nose. Lavius is taunting her, Anaan says nothing in answer hers the determination to end this. When he charges at her Anaan steps slightly to the side rakes the bladed end of her staff across his back as he passes faces him as he swings at her dodging barely a collective gasp going up as he comes at her again parry and thrust until he knocks her staff away is surprised when she catches his arm as he tries to thrust into her she breaks the wrist catching the sword out of his hands grits her teeth as the mage metal bites her hand finishing the swing to decapitate the man still hanging onto the blade as the head rolls away causing a few of the women to either feint or get sick.

Anaan is bleeding, breathing hard but looks around to see if there are any other challengers. When none steps forth she hands the blade to Cullen, “Tarbaas.” Anaan sees Cullen’s confusion though Bull is there.

“I’ll explain later, you ok boss?”

Anaan nods heads back to the throne sits down. “Are there any others for judgment?” Anaan asks her pose rigid not showing anything of fatigue as she looks at the gathered people.

“No Inquisitor, we are done for the day.” Josephine is fighting hard to stay calm is not battle hardened like the others and Blackwell is there to guide her back to her office as the bodies are cleaned up and the floor dealt with.

“I will retire.” Anaan gets to the stairs of her quarters marches up them not daring to show weakness until she is in her quarters Bull catches her scoops her up turning on the water placing her in the tub allowing the cool water to wash over her.

Cullen is there not daring to enter the bathroom keeps his back at the door, “She is okay?” Cullen asks knows Bull is doing an assessment already.

“Yes, I don’t think the dagger was poisoned I can’t believe she cauterized the wound.” 

“Why did she not move out of the way of the blade? She saw it coming.” Cullen asks.

“She would have missed her target if she moved; she is trained to kill the target no matter the cost to her life.” Arvaarad answers as he slides past Cullen to enter the bathroom against his protest. “Did she take any other damage?” Arvaarad is at the tub’s edge waits as Bull brings her over allowing Arvaarad to traces the wound cups her face to see the damage to her nose. Anaan opens her eyes as Arvaarad pulls his control rod out holds it out to Anaan who grabs the end grits her teeth as her runes all light up. “Bull, see any on the back that aren’t lite up?” Avarrad is checking her front not seeing any others than the ones he knows are not working.

“No, she’s functional back here.” Anaan releases the rod breathing through the pain of the rod as her runes wink out.

“His sword was mage metal on the handle.” Cullen is still holding the blade. “Why did she hand it to me?” Cullen asks leaning on the door frame back still to the door.

“We have Tarbaas who collect the weapons of the fallen soldiers and returns them to Par-Vollen, our weapons are extensions of us if we lose it we cannot go home, it’s an honor thing.” Bull explains keeps Anaan close as Arvaarad looks at them.

“I had planned on doing training with you tonight but I don’t think she will be able to do it. She needs to rest, we will train tomorrow. You did well Anaan.”

“Think you scared the shit out of most of the nobles and a few of us as well, why would you issue challenge?” Cullen is curious.

“Skulking in the dark, blind stabs too many bas and not enough Basalit pity.” Anaan answers causing Bull and Arvaarad to chuckle.

“Cowards indeed, better to call them out than wait for the knife.” Bull shakes his head.

“You tore my formal clothes.” Anaan realizes she is naked glares at Bull.

“I did not think you wanted them wet and I wanted you out of them badly.” Bull reasons the last said with a purr.

“Right I’ll have food sent up and get this sword to Lavus’ family good fight Inquisitor.” Cullen beats a hasty retreat causing Bull to chuckle.

“Dawn.” Arvaarad confirms and leaves.

“Bull.” Anaan whispers the word knows he’s just as horny as she is after a battle dries them as Bull takes her to the bed licking and teasing every square inch of her skin until she is keening for him accepting his worship of her body arching into him grabbing his ass to drive him harder faster into her as she fights to dominate their lovemaking. Bull growls as she does it even as she rolls on top her body demanding what he gives willingly she is hot to the touch and going up in flames taking him with her as he moans licks and sucks at her clavicle arches as she digs blunted claws into his back as he is on top again. “Anaan.” It is a plea and a question as her body demands more even as she is teetering on the brink of coming apart so close and she’s pushing harder rolls him to his back as she sits back his hands on her waist as she throws her hair back her hands on his thighs as she pushes finally finding release taking him with her his release a roar as she collapses forward placing her head on his chest gasping for breath placing his hand on the back of her head.

“By the Qun what was that?” Anaan shakes her head no lifts her head to look at him Bull hooks her hair behind her ear sighs with relief when Anaan stretches out on him. When she is silent for a moment Bull places a hand on her back keeping her close but knowing they both need to clean up. “Kadan?” Bull asks is soon looking into silver eyes as she regards him from her spot on his chest then gasping as she slides down him starts to lick and clean him causing him to grip the mattress his breath leaving in a woosh at her ministrations. “Kadan.” Bull’s body is responding already becoming full and wanting. His hips thrusting as she suckles he wants, needs her sits her up pressing her shoulders into the mattress pushing her knees up entering her in one stroke his a need and she answers hands on his wrists as he thrusts trying to make them one wants and needs to be as deep as possible he realizes she is humming, her body glistening meeting him with every thrust as she opens her legs pulls him down to her he answers with a moan as her lips and then her teeth graze over his chest neither of them are ready for her release as it hits them like a bronto. 

Anaan’s teeth clamping on his chest as she comes apart but Bull is not ready scoops her against his chest keeping her attached to him feels his blood going down his chest is on his knees as he continues to thrust her legs wrapped around him he is lost to the lust, gone is the gentle lover Bull is conquering now clamps teeth on her neck fingers digging into hips as she comes apart again reaches up uses his horns as leverage to meet him needs this as much as he does. His release is a roar at her holding her close as her body trembles aftershocks of them both as Bull lays her gently down his heart beating a steady stucco at the sight of their blood at the satisfaction as he sees the bite on her neck her chest marked with both of their blood. “Kadan.” He purrs at her is met by half hooded eyes blood is on her chin from her biting debates on running another bath knows he does not have the energy grabs a rag and water cleans himself before walking over to the bed takes his time cleaning her settling them both down.

Anaan watches him silently as he does this doesn’t fight as he moves her around to clean her properly is flushed again with desire by the time he is done. “Enough Kadan, you need rest.” Bull shakes his head no as Anaan runs a hand down his arm stretches and yawns reaches up to pull him down to her places a hand over her bite. “Kadan, Thank you, Bull you are Kadan.” He’s not ready for the light feeling he gets when she says his name like that when she finally calls him Kadan. Lying back down she snuggles back on him soon asleep as he tries the new word out in his head with her, she has been his Kadan for weeks but she had held back now though now she claimed him. He needed to tell her, vows to tell her in the morning.


	6. -Try-

“Anaan, wake up Kadan.” Bull wakes her keeps her hands pinned as she realizes where she is at takes back the magic she was casting realizes she is on the floor near the balcony rolls away from Bull as the pain hits. Her body is exhausted, bruises mark her hips there are fingerprints from him at various intervals along her body. When she just curls in on herself clutching at her body Bull strokes her knows her body won’t tolerate any other stimuli at this point. When she is breathing slower again Bull strokes her face feels her brush her lips to his palm as she sits up shakily breathing slowly each breath measured and controlled.

“I did not mean to worry you.” Anaan places a hand on his face looks to the balcony stands pulling the coverlet he had put on her around her and walking out to the balcony not caring she is nude. With the coverlet dragging behind her she looks like a study in black and white the red coverlet homage to the Katari, death dealers that wear it as their signature color. Bull stands and joins her pulling her back against him kisses her pulls her back to the chaise smiling as she adjusts with him spreading the coverlet over them both.

When the sunrise hits them Anaan smiles looks at Bull as he traces a finger over her face kisses her. “I need to ask you, do you want to carry?” Anaan frowns at the words debates with herself knows the choices are obvious what she should do. Bull is watching her body, trying to figure out what she really wants.

“Do you?” Anaan finally asks watches as he weighs and debates.

“I do not know it is not something I have ever thought about it is nothing I would have an option of.” Bull is honest in his assessment.

“You are Qunari, when Corepheyus is dead you will return to Par-Vollen you will give your report to the Tumivate, Arishok, Arigena Ariqun. I am Tal-Vashoth, we will not be together.” Anaan says it like she is discussing nothing of importance. As if she has not told him you are only acceptable until I do not need you anymore.

“If that is the case then why this? Why us now?” Bull bites out places a hand on the mark on her neck.

“Kadan.” Anaan explains, in one word.

“You don't want to carry.” Bull says it with finality.

“Saarebas.” Anaan answers it quietly.

“Do you remember them, your parents?” Bull asks wonders if she will speak about them.

“No.” Anaan shakes her head to emphasis the word.

“Do you want me to be your Arvaarad?” Bull watches her as she faces him; he is still on the chaise lounging while she is sitting cross-legged on the end watching him.

“Kadan.” Anaan repeats.

“Anaan.” Arvaarad enters the other side of the balcony tilts his head when he sees their state of undress. “Dawn.” He gestures towards the sun and Anaan stands walks towards the room letting the coverlet fall from her. Bull does not miss the Arvaarad's intake of breath at the sight of her.

“Hissrad control.” Arvaarad admonishes walks closer to inspect the damage on Anaan doesn't miss Bull's growl as he traces the bruises with fingers nods in approval when Anaan doesn't move away from him steps closer to him as he traces them. Satisfied none of the runes are damaged he steps away from her watches as she dresses in her armor.

Bull is dressed and ready to go watches Anaan as she dresses too casting a look at Saarebas who stays on his knees near the door. Finished dressing they make their way down to the main hall drawing some glances but not as many as they used to. Getting food they eat in peace though Bull waves Dorian over along with Vivienne. “Magic combat training you in?” Bull offers earning a glare from Arvaarad as both mages nod following them down the mountain to the tent and then the woods pack horses carrying training dummies.

“What are these again?” Dorian asks looking at the dummies as Karasaad set them up where Arvaarad directs.

“Targets.” Arvaarad says the word slowly sure Dorian is dense.

“I deserved that, I really did okay what is the point of this?” Dorian asks then watches as Anaan casts on all 6 of the targets in rapid secession each target earning a small globe of energy that expands after the hit.

“Try again; tighter globes aim for the chest not the head you will miss if they duck.” Arvaarad indicates and Anaan tries again. “Good, Vivienne what are you other than spirit?” Vivienne's head snaps so fast Dorian is impressed the woman still has her head attached.

Ever one to show her skills rather than talk about them Vivienne fade-steps conjuring a spirit blade in her hand as she appears next to Arvaarad pricking his chest gently with the blade, “I am a Knight-Enchanter.” Vivienne offers a courtly bow as she allows her barrier and the blade to disappear.

“Karasaad.” Arvaarad smiles as he says it though the Qunari doesn't get the surprise advantage he hoped as Vivienne meets his blade with hers and they clash across the clearing they are using for this practice.

“Dorian?” Arvaarad asks as Karasaad and Vivienne trade insults and blades.

“Oh she is going to be hell to live with if she wins against him.” Dorian shakes his head sets three of the targets on fire casts a fear on another. “Flames and necromancy Arvaarad.”

“Don't attack the targets unless directed, control your flames, you are still being attacked by two targets.” Arvaarad is critical shakes his head as Dorian douses the flames looks hurt at the critical nature of Arvaarad.

“Saarebas.” Arvaarad calls and the mage casts barrier and then orbs at the targets perfectly earning him a glare from both Anaan and Dorian. Arvaarad looks at Anaan, “Show me what you have learned since you have been Tal-Vashoth.”

Anaan nods casts a globe until it is decent size aiming at the ground directs it up clapping her hands as the globe explodes around the targets lightning shooting everywhere earning her a glare from Vivienne and Karasaad who had pulled her out of the way. Anaan follows that up with a wave of her hand casting small globes up in the air that shoot random lightning arching between them and the ground in a net. Finally she places her hand on the ground concentrating and murmuring as the lighting forms around her fingers waits as the magic gets to the target nods to Dorian who tosses a rock into it causing the trap to come to live lighting arching and spitting at the rock making it hiss and pop finally smoking.

“Well done Anaan thought that trap was still giving you trouble seems you mastered it.” Dorian smiles at Anaan. Arvaarad tilts his head to look at her regards his Saarebas ideas rolling in his head.

“Teach?” Arvaarad asks and Anaan debates.

“Yes.” Anaan finally says walking to Saarebas murmurs quietly to him.

“Tal-Vashoth hard?” Saarebas asks earning a look from Anaan. Her heart has tripped into overdrive her breath becomes shallow.

“Yes, hunted lost way lonely.” Anaan answers as she stands shoulder to shoulder with Saarebas shows him the gesture to direct the globe. Saarebas looks at Arvaarad checking to see where he is as he directs Dorian again.

“Not Satisfied. More.” Saarebas finally says causing Anaan to almost loose her globe even as sweat breaks out on her brow as she reins her magic in.

“Qun is all, Qun is more, you are complete I am not.” Anaan indicates his collar, the chains, the mask, is envious of it all. Most of all she is envious of his control, the fact Arvaarad will always be there to control him, guide him.

“You are complete outside of Qun.” Saarebas insists even as Anaan shakes her head no backs away from Saarebas.

“Never, there is nothing outside of the Qun I live in pain, despair, lack control and focus you are complete and I am nothing.” Anaan turns away headed back to SkyHold not stopping when Dorian calls to her is thankful Arvaarad does not.

“Saarebas.” Arvaarad asks wonders why Anaan would say what she did what would push her to that statement.

“Anaan?” Cullen sees her approach the castle is down the steps to meet her in a moment. Anaan doesn’t acknowledge his existence is past him and up the stairs to the hall striding with purpose past them all to her quarters locks the door walks to the balcony.

Bull finds her there hours later in meditation hers the straight back of hourly countenance and practice. He does not disturb her merely angles himself to see her face; it’s a pointless thing really as her face is passive gives nothing away and never would. Her eyes are closed though he knows by a flick of her ear she is aware he is there. It is another hour before she finally opens her eyes to regard him. “Kadan.” Bull is still not used to her calling him that crosses to her waits as she stands stretches much to his delight easing muscles from their forced stillness. “You worry about me. Peace eludes me today, thought to find it in Qun but I did not.” Anaan is disturbed deeply her voice betraying a trace of sadness her body rigid holding onto the hurt.

“Can I help?” Bull asks as she walks to him places a hand on her bite mark smiles when she nods follows her down the stairs to the spar ring. Armor is stripped until she stands in leather tunic and pants her feet bare her hair tied back a long braid falling down her back. Bull takes his harness off showing off the tattoos he has on the shoulder as he faces her swirls and runes inked long ago. It is his commitment to the Qun, his words and work where he has been and what he was all laid onto the shoulder and down the arm. Anaan has spent hours tracing them knows them as well as all the scars that mark his skin. “Boss.” Bull calls her back to the present drops into a ready position.

They are on their second bout when Arvaarad comes with the others watches as Anaan moves grappling barehanded with Bull sometimes getting tossed sometimes managing to toss Bull mostly it is a way for her to find peace but it’s not working. When Bull pulls her back up after another toss he maintains his hold on her searching eyes trying to figure out what is wrong.

“Explain.” Arvaarad calls from the sidelines earns a tilt of head from Anaan as she debates what to tell him that his Saarebas is not happy, wishes for more that his Saarebas wants to be like her doesn’t understand how wrong it is for her to live like this. Anaan shakes her head no, refuses to explain to Arvaarad what is going on part of her not wanting to get Saarebas in trouble not wanting to cause issue. Arvaarad walks to her, “Saarebas need?”Anaan shakes her head no steps away spins to go back into the castle without a word. Arvaarad shakes his head looks at Bull, “Bring her back to where we were near the tents, something has rattled her badly. She should have accepted the ask, should have accepted comfort.”


	7. -Waiting-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW- Heavy chapter folks. Hang in there.

Bull brings Anaan who actually put up a decent fight to get out here. “No, I am fine I do not need I am fine I did I am sorry.” It is a blind panic which is why Bull drug her to the woods at one point throwing her over his shoulder.

“Anaan Kost!” Arvaarad is appalled at her behavior, tries to figure out what could be going on.

“No!” Anaan is crackling with magic that makes both men pause and look at her.

“She truly fears this, Anaan what is going on?” Bull has a hold of her arm other hand holding her face to look at him.

“I am sorry I cannot find peace, I will I promise just don’t hurt me.” It’s as if she’s slapped them Bull steps back from her heart pounding completely unable to deal with the emotions of that statement.

“You think I would hurt you because you cannot find peace in the Qun? For all that the Qun is not to struggle it is in our nature to struggle we must find our way sometimes with guidance that is what I offer you.” Arvaarad steps to her grasps the wrist with the cuff on it, “This is a way for you to find peace,” he releases her wrist shows her the rope, “This is how you find peace, pain is not the goal Anaan peace is you are already in pain, let me ease it.” Arvaarad places a hand on her face puts hers on his chest, “Hear me Anaan I do not do this for punishment you have done nothing wrong I do this to keep you in control to help you find peace nothing more.”

Anaan steps away from him shakes her head hers a face of anguish, she has done wrong is doing wrong by not telling Arvaarad of Saarebas’ struggle of not helping Saarebas of not helping herself. She should not be alive, she would not inspire other Saarebas to rebel, does not want this life doesn’t want this responsibility. “Kadan, do not leave me I would suffer, do not leave me.” Bull knows that look has seen it on the face of nearly every single Saarebas when their Arvaarad has fallen that lost look the one right before they go up in self-suicide flames.

“Kadan.” Anaan looks to Bull sees her bite on his chest he’s thankful he hadn’t put his harness back on.

“Pain Anaan, you would leave me in pain.” Bull won’t touch her needs her to reach to him needs her to walk herself off the edge back to him it is a hard lesson to learn.

“Kadan.” She takes a tentative step to him is wrapped up as Bull and Arvaarad both take a deep breath trying to figure out what could have caused this. “Saarebas, unhappy need more.” Anaan says it haltingly, guilt eating her about telling about not telling.

Arvaarad looks to Saarebas walks quietly to the mage tilts his chin up. “Explain.” Saarebas looks to Anaan eyes full of pain and hate. “You caused her pain, grief, you corrupted her Saarebas why? Why would you not trust me?”

Saarebas looks to Arvaarad, “She does not struggle yet happy.”

Anaan marches up to Saarebas grasps his wrist, “I struggle I miss this! I want control, fight for it desperately wish for it and am denied I was not worthy.” Anaan’s magic is popping, control is just a word right now and Arvaarad steps back has his rod ready. “Saarebas sees my struggle right now! I was injured because I am not worthy, I am denied Par Vollen I am denied Atash you are not. Do not envy me, I am nothing Maraas you are Anaan, you are victory over me you are Anaan and I am Maraas.”

Saarebas grabs her arm presses his forehead to hers. “Control Anaan, Kost Anaan do not struggle there is nothing to struggle against peace Anaan, Arvaarad will control you I was wrong Kost.”

Arvaarad grabs Anaan’s other wrist loops the rope onto her wrist watches as Bull does the same on the other, “You accept my teaching?” Arvaarad glances at Anaan then back to Bull.

“I have chosen.” Bull says it evenly doesn’t feel conviction behind it realizes Anaan and he haven’t really had the discussion.

“You haven’t discussed it with her. You accept it because her need for this is more than your need to tell her you are leaving the Qun.” Arvaarad says it like it’s the most common discussion ever.

Bull wants off this ride, he’s feeling like he is being hit repeatedly by a bronto emotionally. This is so far out of the realm of his training he’s not sure which emotion he wants to act on more the need to beat the living shit out of Arvaarad for raking him and Anaan over the coals, Saarebas for putting Anaan through this self-doubt or himself for not having the forethought to put some ground rules on discussions before he opened his mouth around Arvaarad. “Katoh.” Bull decides taking one look at Anaan and knowing this is not what she wants, needs or deserves with them all this emotional.

“You do not decide this Hissrad.”

Anaan looks at both of them, looks at Saarebas debates her need of peace over their emotional states wonders if the risk is worth it. Shaking her head no she removes the ropes walks over to where Saarebas is kneeling kneels with him places her forehead on his. “Share.” Arvaarad frowns slightly as Saarebaas looks at him. “Please, not done since I left need this help both.”

Arvaarad nods, removes Saarebas’ collar and mask braids and buns Anaan’s hair pulls on the bun slightly, “Careful you are unbound he is not.” Anaan nods places her forehead on Saarebas’ her magic already crackling with her emotions his suppresses hers builds a barrier to keep it contained. “We will air the rest of our issues when she finds peace.” Bull is watching the two mages watches as Anaan lets her magic run over the Saarebas watches as she holds his head to hers growls barely when Saarebas’ hand slides to Anaan’s back pulls her flush against him it’s a war of Anaan’s purple against his blue each giving and taking until Bull realizes there is no sexual intent to it, it is literally a sharing of magic a way for the mages to work out their issues with each other and themselves without the Arvaarads.

“Okay what is she doing?” Bull is curious what of this he is missing.

“It’s a Saarebas thing, we have battle lust they have magic overload it can be done with up to four at a time it is not done with unsterilized Saarebas usually since it can lead to issues. Those two are a good mix with his defensive magic and her offensive.” Anaan has pulled her magic back, knows she will overwhelm Saarebas if she doesn’t but the feeling of the shared magic is euphoric allows her to find her center her peace her calm after the past few days.

“Kost.” Saarebas murmurs, feels Anaan release her magic does the same releases her sitting back calm and refreshed.

“Thank You.” Anaan nods lays back on the grass smiles slightly at the feeling of calm looks over to Bull and Arvaarad sits up. “Shall we discuss the issues?”

“Yes.” Arvaarad finishes putting ropes and such away heads towards the tent has Saarebas sit down along with the rest of them.

“I’d rather enjoy the fact you found peace for more than 10 minutes.” Bull grouches sees Anaan tilt her head to regard him, “This discussion needs to happen, if I am to have you as my Arvaarad it needs to be decided it will take time for you to learn this. I am not sure I want you to be my Arvaarad.”

“I have already tied myself to you; I want more discussion on this.” Bull finally admits and Anaan nods.

“You want to be Tal-Vashoth.” Anaan looks at Bull dares him to admit it, “Yes. Longer I am away from Par Vollen the more I don’t want to go back. I cannot bed you and follow the Qun those two things cannot happen. I cannot tell Ariqun I agree she should kill you as soon as Corepheyus is dead I won’t let them.”

Anaan is shaking her head. “Kadan, don’t. Don’t change for me, don’t turn your back on what you are who you are for me, I am not worth it I am not worth this sacrifice never this.”

Arvaarad places a hand on her arm the hand covered with her own as she breathes. “Anaan, not your place to stop or encourage each must find their way.” Arvaarad quotes at her seeing the resistance sees when she accepts it.

“As you wish.” Anaan is up and pacing, both men watch as her steps are short quick and irritated.

“Anything else?” Arvaarad asks debates’ doing a control submission practice on Anaan decides it will be a good idea as she works herself up more. “Submit.” Arvaarad demands happy when Anaan drops to her knees baring throat wrists and ankles in one graceful bow.

“Don’t. This is an issue for her and I, we will work it out.” Bull has other plans for Anaan tonight doesn’t need Arvaarad asserting his place right now.

“Take her.” Arvaarad nods knowingly watches as the two leave.

When they get to Anaan’s rooms Bull systematically strips both of them, it is a teasing of tongue here a feather touch there both needing the touch to be okay with each other. When they are both bare Bull catches Anaan’s hands binds them behind her quickly waits for her to test the bonds knows she can’t get out of them. “You need to accept my decisions, accepting or not accepting the Qun is my decision not yours.” Anaan tests the bonds knows she can’t get free looks to Bull curiously. “Tonight I make all the decisions; you will learn to accept them. Promise this will help Anaan, you want someone else in control than let me.” 

It is a steady kiss as he places her on the bed his hands touching allowed to explore where he wants she has no say in it. Anaan wiggles a little when he places the blindfold on his hands are everywhere and nowhere causing her to pant softly as her body responds. Fingers circle her belly button, traces across then dip to her sex she hears Bull lick his lips feels as tongue and teeth trace down from throat to nipple to sex and back again tracing the lines of her runes tracing the repaired one with infinite gentleness knows her back is still sore from the needle and mallet. She is placed on her stomach his fingers traces gently around her runes slide slowly inside as fingers trace them causing Anaan to tilt her hips she wants him needs him, “Tell me Anaan.” Bull coaxes stops his ministrations waiting for Anaan to speak.

“Kadan.” Anaan can’t say more won’t and he knows it. When he finally slides into her she comes apart, her release burning through him as well though he maintains control as she rides hers out moves in a steady rhythm causing her to stay so tight on the top her release drawn out in one long flush on her skin.

“Anaan, ah.” Bull is quickly losing his control as Anaan pushes back against him her hips driving him helplessly Bull releases her hands in a quick tug which allows her to plant her hands gives her more leverage to push onto Bull one of his hands at her breast the other between her legs stroking her nub even as she pushes against him he pulls her up against his chest “Touch yourself Anaan, show me.” Anaan’s hands trace to breasts twisting nipples one hand sliding to continue his ministrations on her nub mouths opens in an O as she feels herself building.

“Kadan.” Anaan says it as a plea and permission Bull licks at the juncture of her neck feels her shiver so close traces teeth bites gently and she shudders taking him with her his body thrusting helplessly against her as he snuggles into her back keeping her against him laying them both down and taking the blindfold off of her. “I liked that.” Anaan admits untangling from Bull to get cleaned up tosses a rag to Bull checks her neck for injury.

“I didn’t break the skin, I won’t unless you do we have to be careful with you.” Anaan nods gets back in the bed lays with Bull remembers the first time she had invited him to her bed, it had been a building thing for her. “You are thinking about our first time.” Bull purrs as Anaan traces circles on his chest, stops and looks up at him. “Anytime we do something new you compare it, makes sense as it was your first time.”

Anaan blushes at that bites his chest gently. “You told me I needed something to erase the pain.”

Bull nods, “Had I known you’d never done any of that before I am not sure I would have suggested it nor gone about it the way I did.” Bull answers wryly.

“All knowing Bull, not knowing horror.” Anaan tries for humor lands somewhat flat but Bull smiles at the attempt. She had crawled away from her bedroll and him after he had woken her trying to get away from the pain not finding relief. Bull had kissed her, massaged her lighting little fires along her skin until she had been flush with want strong fingers had teased at nipples and sex until she had asked what he was doing, “Giving you something against the pain.” With that he had sheathed himself in her causing her to arch in pain as he realized what had happened. Bull had hung onto her when she had panicked had rocked his hips causing her to flush with the pleasure her nipples so sensitive as he had laved attention on them gently moving until her release had crashed into them both Bull hanging onto her as she had shuddered through it taken her through another before she had pulled him over. Gentle, he had been gentle when he had not offered again after another attack Anaan had taken the initiative her bumbling attempts to figure out how to get him to want her hilarious in their innocence.

“Saarebas don’t, ever.” Anaan finally says leaning up and kissing Bull under his chin nipping causing his hand to tighten on her ass fingers digging into the ample bottom more than willing to go another round. “Sleep.” Anaan says in a mock Bull tone causes him to glare at her.

“I do not sound like that.” Anaan smiles slightly straddles Bull watches as he places a hand on her abdomen.

“Don’t.” knocks his hand away getting off of him marching over to the water and pouring herself one drinking it as she watches Bull watch her. She isn’t ready for this discussion isn’t sure she wants this.

“Kadan.” Bull tries Anaan shakes her head no. When he continues to watch her theirs a battle of silence Anaan shakes her head moonlight plays off her skin silver washing out her gold. “Kadan.” Bull tries again is silenced with a look he’s pushed too far realizes it too late.

“Out now.” Anaan is furious, he is making her doubt, waver something she can’t do not now not ever.

“You can’t make this decision for both of us.” Bull bites out. Wrong wrong so wrong and he can't make himself stop wishes his mouth would just snap shut and stop.

“I’m not. I don’t want that discussion right now. I don’t want you as my Arvaarad you are Kadan.” It’s the cold water on the flaming fire between them.

“I can be both.” Bull says it softly, trying to get her to see.

“No you can’t.” Anaan enunciates every syllable of that sentence.

Bull hasn’t moved from the bed he’s not willing to retreat from this but she is. Pulling on clothing Bull is to her in a moment, “Stop, no. Anaan talk to me dammit.”

Anaan pushes him off her or tries she’s not nearly strong enough zings enough magic through him to have him release her. “Done with this.” Anaan is out the door as Bull recovers from the magic her steps unhurried and with a purpose.

“Dammit!” Bull is furious with himself and with her. She'll face down a damn dragon but ask her about feelings and it's short commands and a steel back. Figuring she'll go to Arvaarad Bull gets dressed stops himself long enough to calm down and think clearly, he hopes.

Anaan doesn't go to Arvaarad, she goes to Cullen. Cullen who has sisters and siblings who can fill in her lack of speech with his own Anaan finds the blonde commander in his office behind paperwork dealing with missives when she walks in. “Inquisitor?”

“Ignored you, apologize.” Anaan crosses her arms tilts her head at Cullen.

“Not to worry, you looked busy I shouldn't have interrupted you.” Cullen waves it off knows Anaan's behaviors are typical for the Qunari.

“Cullen, I brought the West Hills Brandy would work for our evening thoughts?” Varric comes in tray in hand with a decanter and glasses stops when he sees Anaan. “Inquisitor care to join us? I've convinced Cullen to do something other than sit in his office and work.”

“You are still in his office.” Anaan observes arms crossed observing the dwarf.

“Maker I forget she can't make a joke. Yes but this time we are drinking and talking while he work unless you need me to leave?” Varric looks to leave Anaan shakes her head no.

“Need Commander's advice will take yours as well.” Anaan makes the decision quickly.

“Liquor now or later?” Varric asks pulling another glass out of his coat.

“Now and later.” Anaan nods as she says this sits in the chair in front of Cullen's desk helps the man clear at least part of it for the drinks.

When all are properly fortified both men look at Anaan waiting for whatever she needs to ask and Anaan begins to have doubts. Maybe these two aren't the right ones to ask, maybe Josephine is she dismisses the thought automatically knows which way the Antivan will go no she picked the right two she just needs to spit it out.

“Bull wants children.” Anaan announces as Cullen is taking a swig of his brandy pats the man on the back when he chokes.

“Maker I'm good stop Anaan I am not a target!” Cullen coughs more wipes tears from his eyes.

“Now?” Varric asks incredulously.

“No, after.” Anaan makes a motion to encompass all of this.

“Okay good to know someone is planning for us to live through this.” Cullen shakes his head in disbelief.

“You don't want kids.” Varric levels a look at Anaan.

“Saarebas.” Anaan says as an explanation frowns when both men shrug. “Corrupted, shouldn't have children, Tal-Vashoth, he is Qunari, not allowed.” Anaan ticks the points off on her fingers.

“No more corrupted than anyone else it's not guaranteed your kids will be mages, why not, so, so, says who?” Cullen ticks off the points as well.

“I am guessing you two had a fight about this and you decided to get a second and third opinion or are you looking for allies when Bull asks?” Varric shakes his head at his logic waves a hand at Anaan. “Too personal to take sides on this Anaan that is for you and Bull to figure out bringing in outsiders won't help this.”

“Wait, why would this come up now does this have something to do with Arvaarad? Is he pushing to make it where you can't have kids to conform to the Qun?” Cullen takes another swig of the brandy pours himself more leans back in his chair and places his feet on his desk.

Anaan smiles, “No but he can make it where I can’t. Bull wants to be my Arvaarad, I am not sure.”

“Score one for the Commander, how you make that much out of such little conversation I will never understand.” Varric marvels at the man who can hold a conversation with Anaan easily is the only one outside of Bull who can.

“Nothing you do will make you conform to the Qun, it is not possible.” Bull is standing in the door leaning on it glaring at Cullen and Varric.

“Not you. Go leave me be.” Anaan is crackling with magic causing Varric to grab the booze and hide behind Cullen.

“Anaan, not in the combustible office sit down, talk this out Bull sit down and shut up or get out.” Cullen is all commander and it shows as Anaan sits back down and Bull leans against the closed door.

“You are reaching, trying for something you cannot do. You are NOT Qunari you are Tal-Vashoth be it by choice or not you cannot go back. You hold so tightly to it, trying so hard you cause yourself pain. Stop reaching for something you cannot get to and just be you. You are not Saarebas you are Anaan.” Bull says it quietly tries again to get her to see she is wrong.

“None of that has anything to do with carrying.” Anaan is calm clear and utterly made up in her mind.

It does it has everything to do with carrying but she’s not seeing it won’t see it. “Fine admit you are not Qunari, admit you are Tal-Vashoth and I will never mention carrying again.” Bull crosses his arms and waits. Cullen and Varric are watching the two carefully not daring to breathe.

“I am Tal-Vashoth.” Anaan says it flatly, it's something she has said so many times it's automatic.

“Not what I meant and you know it.” Bull's nails are digging into his palms he wants to choke her to knock some sense into her.

“I did as you asked conversation done.” Anaan stands starts to move to the door.

“Anaan.” Cullen understands this need to happen is more than willing to follow Bull's lead on this.

“Katoh.”Anaan glares at Cullen and is not surprised when the Commander meets her gaze crosses his arms as well.

“Sometimes the hardest lies to let go of are the ones we hold closest.” Varric says it quietly barely above a whisper.

“Katoh. Venak hoi. Talan ah Hissra. Stop, wearying ones, truth is an illusion. I will not carry and I am done with you.” Anaan shakes her head at Bull walks to him placing a hand on her bite mark on his chest. “Kadan, you have pushed too far. I said stop and you did not, we are done.” Anaan tries to get out of the door it is blocked by Bull.

“No we are not done; no you are not running from this you are not letting me go. You will face down a fucking dragon, nobles, venatori, issue an open challenge to the entire fucking world but you won't deal with this with us. Moment things get hard you are done, moment things move past the we might live through this what do you want to do you leave. STOP RUNNING!” Bull has well and truly lost his temper is not moving from the door.

Bull's not expecting the left hook to the face, he is expecting the knee and dodges that shoves her away from him as she comes across with an elbow circles her wrist pulls her arm behind her shoving her into the wall. “You will not do this Anaan, you will not destroy us with fighting. Settle down, use your words, just fucking talk to me.”

When Anaan would summon her magic Cullen suppresses her. “Not in my office Anaan. Kick his ass with your fists if you want but your magic stays leashed.” Anaan roars her challenge has gone beyond reason or common sense as she struggles against Bull who is just smothering her using his bulk as unmoving as the wall in front of her. “Bull, take it outside if you really want to fight I'd rather not have my office destroyed by warring 7ft tall people.” Cullen is all commander though he and Varric are currently sipping at their brandy.

“Drinks and a show, never would have pegged your office as so exciting.” Varric pours himself more as Bull and Anaan are still wrestling.

“You can't force this; I do not WANT to carry. I do not WANT you to be Arvaarad” Anaan is biting out arms loose at her sides more than ready for another attack on Bull she just needs him away from the door.

“Why?” Bull asks arms loose at his sides as well he's ready for her when she does attack him she's using claws, teeth, everything but words. When he steps from the door she is out of it racing across the battlements her steps fast on the stairs down to the ground though she is brought up short by Arvaarad when he sees her.

“Submit.” Arvaarad bites out seeing her run from Bull sees Varric and Cullen in hot pursuit as well. It is her nature to drop to her knees from her run head bowed showing what would be bindings if she was wearing them. His rod is out as he takes in the scene his Saarebas on the leash behind him his Karasaad stopping with him blocking Cullen and Varric from the Qunari with staves. “Explain.” Arvaarad demands though Cullen is cursing slightly at the sight of Anaan on her knees in the courtyard in front of all SkyHold to see. Inquisitor brought to her knees by a Qunari, not even Josie can spin this one.

“They interfere.” Anaan bites out.

“This is not good Curly.” Varric admits seeing exactly what Cullen is drawing the same conclusion.

“Bind her, bring her leave him.” Arvaarad's orders are quick, quiet to the point as Karasaad quickly binds Anaan's wrists behind her yanks a mask onto her face pulls her up and marches her out of SkyHold. “Find Saarebas Vivienne, I will need her bring her to the tent.” Other Karasaad nods heads to find Vivienne. “Bind her if necessary she will comply Qun demands.” Arvaarad turns to walk away Bull makes to follow finds himself at the end of a sword. “She has lost her control, runs from you, you are not a help but a hindrance to this process you will not interfere again.” Arvaarad turns to walk away. “Anaan.” Bull tries she doesn't even look behind her doesn't even acknowledge he exists.

Arvaarad marches her to the tent sets her down on the table releases her arms. “Explain”

“He is Kadan I do not want him to be Arvaarad, I also do not want to carry I am Sarebaas.”

Arvaarad turns away from her for a moment gets to his center and turns back to her nodding. “You need an Arvaarad, I can make it where you cannot carry if you wish it.”

Anaan shakes her head no. “How?”

“I can ink runes that make it where you cannot; if or when you want to carry you can stop the runes. In rare cases Tamassran want Sarebaas to breed.”

Anaan nods at this, “Balance.”

“Yes, is that what you want?” Anaan nods.

Getting the materials ready to ink the runes he waits for Vivienne to be brought. Vivienne is not happy about being there this late in the evening but is wise enough not to say anything sits in her chair quietly watching as Anaan strips out of her clothing then out of her breastband and small clothes piling both on the table doesn't blink when Karasaad come in carrying a tub followed by another with water. When both Karasaad approach Anaan rubbing their foreheads against hers pulling her close running hands over her she sits a little straighter. “You must sacrifice and we mourn the loss.” Arvaarad says though he does not step up to her his role of control always control.

“Anaan.” Arvaarad points to the table has her sit on it having already covered it in a sheet has her lay back puts the shackles and chains on makes sure she is secured sets the needle to her skin starts the runes. He is three runes in when she starts shuddering Vivienne is off her chair.

“Arvaarad?” Vivienne is curious as no one is speaking at all.

Arvaarad closes his eyes on his stupidity, he should have had her checked but he cannot stop now the damage already done. “Do not struggle Anaan, I must finish this.”

“Do not interfere Saarebas Vivienne this needs to happen. Her magic shouldn't strike out but if it does get a barrier up to keep you two safe. If you interfere Vivienne I will have you removed but I would like for you to stay Anaan will need you.” Anaan is arching off the table trying to curl in on herself is denied when Vivienne sees the blood between her thighs she is appalled.

“She was pregnant, what are you doing? Why would you end it? Anaan talk to me.” Vivienne is frantic wants to help not sure how.

“She is Saarebas, not allowed to carry.” Arvaarad runs a finger down Anaan's arm cups her face as she shudders and guilt eats at him. Her magic does snap and pop crackling again and again against Vivienne's barrier finally magic and mage are tired enough to stop.

Arvaarad unhooks her chains, gently carries her to the bath places her in the slightly warm water hangs onto her as she arches out of it not liking the heat on her runes. “I know but we do not want infection, you must heal cleanly. I would have given you ceremony did not wish to push it with Bull.” Anaan smiles at that rests her head against Arvaarad as she soaks the water bloody. Taking her out Arvaarad puts her back on the table clean linens already on it. “Let’s get you to bed you need rest. Vivienne can tend you if you prefer or I can.”

“Kadan.” Arvaarad shakes his head places his forehead on hers, “Still loopy I see, shh it had to be done Anaan you knew that.” Arvaarad holds her as she cries. He will take the blame for this, this is his fault.

“I've got this Arvaarad, go clean up.” Vivienne is there wrapping Anaan up in the Ambrosia scent that is so her Anaan is crying both in pain and out of heartache.

When Anaan is finally able to sit up without assistance Arvaarad gets her some food, waits as both women eat. “You have no questions?” Arvaarad asks Vivienne who regards him coldly.

“I do not. I am trying very hard not to kill you, not to freeze your heart in your chest or summon a sword from the fade to strike you down with.” Arvaarad actually smiles at that.

“Vivienne, anger misplaced. The choice mine.” Anaan says it slowly carefully looks at Vivienne when she says it.

“That was no more your choice than the moment he walked in and said I can help with your runes. You are tied to them, helpless in front of them. You allowed him to put you on your knees, bind you and walk right out of SkyHold with you. I thought Qunari don't like to be viewed as weak?” Vivienne turns her ire on Anaan now.

“We do not.” Anaan confirms.

“That is what you did when you submitted to him Anaan, you are seen as weak now.” Vivienne is shaking her head is furious and disgusted with Anaan.

“He is Arvaarad, I must submit to him it is the Qun.” Anaan is truly confused but so is Vivienne.

“I need Bull for this, I cannot explain this to you obviously maybe he can.” Vivienne looks to Arvaarad. “You were wrong to make her submit to you, she is NOT Qunari as you all keep yelling at the top of your lungs so why is she treated like she is?”

“Arvaarad, Saarebas one cannot live without the other we are one we are Karataam.” Anaan explains patiently.

“You were doing fine without one.” Vivienne points out even as Anaan is shaking her head no.

“No control, no purpose, lost very lost.” Anaan maintains and Vivienne huffs in exasperation.

“You did not need Arvaarad to deal with the Chantry, Corepheyus or Templars. You made all of those decisions on your own. You need to lead, you have a long way to go yet and you cannot hide behind your Arvaarad like a child holding onto its mother. Wrong metaphor, he is not your leader he cannot lead you. Eventually he will have to leave and then what? Who will be your Arvaarad then?” Vivienne is holding Anaan's face in her hands trying to get Anaan to understand.

“I don't know.” Anaan decides in a moment causing another huff from Vivienne.

“If you do not lead no one will follow. This only works if you stand up and lead control yourself, you made the decision to go to the ball, you made the decision to go to the Hinterlands and close the breach, you chose to lead us to SkyHold you are capable just do it!” Vivienne shakes her head no. “But you want someone else to control you, leave your fate to someone else? How's that worked out for you so far? He fell in battle and your other Arvaarad used pain to control you, aren't you tired of the pain? When will you say enough to the pain?”

“I deserve the pain, I am not worthy of the Qun, I am denied.” Anaan starts but Vivienne slaps her.

“ENOUGH! You pray over the Qun every day, you mouth the words you say you are not worthy to. You endure the pain but asked Arvaarad to end it knowing he is leaving when it is done. What will happen when he leaves? What happens when the Qun you clutch so tightly to tries to kill you again? Will you let it or will you challenge it?” Vivienne is still holding Anaan's face searches those silver eyes for anything to inspire her finds nothing.

“I will try.” Anaan finally says allowing Vivienne to release the breath she was holding.

“Inquisitor.” Cullen calls insistently. Anaan wraps the blanket around herself nods to Vivienne who lets the Commander in. “What is the meaning of this? Are you okay?”

“I am adequate. Your need?” Anaan answers carefully.

“News of what happened is spreading, there are those that want the Qunari gone there have been death threats to all of you.” Cullen isn't ready for Anaan to stand up and drop the blanket though he is fast enough to catch her when she almost falls. “Inquisitor!”

“Anaan you cannot right now, you need to stay in bed.” Arvaarad is putting her back in the bed restrains her when she would try again.

“Arvaarad what did you do to her?” Cullen's already seen the wounds to her abdomen the bleeding.

“Never mind that, we need to get her and them to safety he still needs to repair her runes.” Vivienne is already covering Anaan drawing Cullen away.

“Right, you need to get into the castle, we can hide you in Josephine's office there is a cellar there you can use for the runes. We'll keep the soldiers stationed here make them think you are still here, we do not have much time we need to move now.” Arvaarad nods hands Vivienne Anaan's clothing as the mage helps her dress she is maneuvered out of the way when Arvaarad wraps the scarf material around Anaan's torso to make a shirt steadies her with a hand as he gets the other Saarebas up and to him. Bull is there scooping Anaan up.

“Kadan, I will not let them harm you.” Bull places his forehead against hers waits as she traces his face knowing she is in pain. “How did the runes go?” Bull asks Arvaarad sees the hesitation in his face sees it echoed in Vivienne and Anaan's face.

“We will deal with that later, right now we need to move.” Cullen is quickly leading them through the gully to a second entrance into SkyHold up the steps and Bull holds Anaan closer when he realizes she's passed out due to the pain isn't sure where on her body they started the runes.

Once in the castle Josephine's has been busy turning the cellar and the adjoining room into living quarters with a space for Arvaarad to work. “Here, put her here she's bleeding.” Josephine is worried as Bull puts Anaan down where indicated steps back sees the blood on his hands realizes which part of the body that blood came from. This is the kick he didn't see while he was down.

Bull hits his knees next to Anaan, places his head on her lap is careful his horns do not hit her as she strokes his head his ears soothing desperately trying to sooth him knows it’s a foolish endeavor is grateful when Vivienne shoos the rest of the humans out and convinces Arvaarad to get out of there as well. “You chose.” Bull pulls the bloody pants off closes his eyes against the runes there having seen them on the few female Saarebas bodies he's seen.

“There was no choice, it is done.” Anaan intones it flatly swallows against the pain she knows Bull is in.

“This blood though, you were carrying.” Bull breathes carefully trying to figure out if he's furious she killed their child or if the blame belongs somewhere else. “If Arvaarad was not here would you have carried?”

“No choice. I would have found a Ben-Hassrath to take the child to Par-Vollen, my sin does not need to be the child's.” Anaan looks at Bull as she says this glares defiantly at him trying to get him to understand. Bull stands and crosses his arms reaching and finding training to do this.

“Right you want to be Qunari than be Qunari, by the Qun this is not sanctioned and will not continue.” Bull waits, he's expecting tears, something but then again no one is like Anaan.

“Already done in Cullen's office this formality not required.” Anaan's voice is flat, no emotion no inflection none of the passionate woman he has shared his life with back is the flat Saarebas who had greeted him as Sten.

“Anaan, you need him.” Arvaarad informs her quietly leans against the wall watching having already secured Saarebas.

“You.” Avaraad is already shaking his head no, “I won’t you are not of the Qun.” Anaan closes her eyes waits for her heart to stop beating so fast. Hands flutter to her stomach there is no regret to the Qun, forward, accept the demands, there is no struggle, accept.

Arvaarad is leaving, Bull cannot be her Arvaarad her control is flawless when her runes are working decisions are made quickly she will find someone who can control her. “Arvaarad you will do my runes now. Josephine.” Anaan waits for the Ambassador, “Find Tal-Vashoth Arvaarad, and bring me mage metal chains.” When Bull and Arvaarad would say something Anaan cuts a glare at them both, “Katoh, I am inquisitor this is my decision I will be obeyed it is the Inquisition.” Josephine watches both of the Qunai waits for more resistance heads back up the stairs to accomplish her task.

“We refuse to give you what you need so you discard us? How very un-Qunari.” Bull is trying to see the end game can’t.

“I use you to accomplish task same as him and once your purpose is done I will find another such is the will of the Inquisitor. As you are not my Kadan there is no reason for you to be at my side.” Anaan reminds him of a dragon right now, her expression one of calm and determination more than ready to roar and deal with her tormentors the only way she can.

“You want Tal-Vashoth? What is the meaning of this?” Cassandra asks as Arvaarad has moved her to the table bandages covering where needed he is already prepping to do the runes knows Anaan is right about getting on her feet now.

“I need an Arvaarad Cassandra, you do not understand.” Anaan looks at the warrior as Arvaarad traces the rune he wants to deal with waits as Anaan finishes speaking.

“Your magic is controlled, you are controlled you do not need an Arvaarad.” Cassandra doesn’t want more Qunari, doesn’t want the scene in the courtyard to ever be repeated.

“You do not tell me what I need I am Inquisitor, you obey.” Anaan is trying to find the word in Common is utterly failing at it.

“As you wish.” Cassandra glares again stomps up the stairs.

When it sounds like more interruptions are on the way Anaan stops Arvaarad’s hand. “Karasaad, none may pass until I am done.” Arvaarad bites out waits as the Karasaads stop whoever is on the stairs does not care what they come up with. Anaan is a sweating, horrible bloody mess when Arvaarad finishes for the day neither able to tolerate more as she has three done. Karasaad carry her up to her bedroom steadies her as she gets into the cold water helps her get into the bed and leaves her alone.

“I can ease your pain if you like.” Solas comes in from the balcony approaches the bed carefully.

“No.” Anaan eyes him warily, of all the mages of the Inquisition the fade walking apostate elf is the one she trusts the least his magic she can’t understand.

“No wish to ease your suffering? No wish to erase the pain of losing a child of losing the man you love I bow my head in respect to the martyr. Well done Anaan victory over your emotions how very Qunari of you.” Anaan cuts him a glance, her face passive as she regards him.

“I am Tal-Vashoth not Qunari, you are aware of the difference.”

Solas smiles slightly. “Tal-Vashoth marry and have children, they do not bow to Arvaarad or accept the chains they fought so hard to get free from.” Solas indicates the shackle on Anaan’s wrist.

“Qun demands much of its followers. I am Tal-Vashoth not by choice that I choose to live as close to the Qun as I can my choice.”

Solas nods at Anaan’s statement. “Now we’re getting somewhere. By your Qun you cannot bear children so you have made it so, by your Qun you cannot be without an Arvaarad so you have requested one, you are not allowed to love so you have let Bull go.” Solas shakes his head though, “Saarebas have no voice, their tongues cut out if they are too out of control, who will be your voice your Arvaarad? Certainly not Bull, that bridge is in flames you have set yourself up for a lonely hard road Inquisitor be sure it’s the road you want be sure at the end of that road is the woman you want to be.”

Anaan regards Solas shakes her head no,“You do not understand.”

Solas snorts at that, “you forget I have traveled with you Inquisitor, you need Bull, want Bull and will always want him I read the Kossith are a passionate race I am willing to bet you will need someone to take the edge off when that happens and Bull turns you down what will you do?”

Anaan shakes her head no, “it is not needed.”

Solas smiles and shrugs, “we shall see won’t we.”

Anaan nods slowly her hand fluttering to her stomach again looks out to the balcony turns away from it. “I owe him an apology; I did not treat him fairly today.” Anaan says suddenly looking to Solas.

“He will not forgive Anaan, for all he is Qunai you killed your child, his child gave him no choice but to accept.” Solas walks closer to the door, “I will ask him to come, if he chooses to be careful. If not time heals or at least scabs over even deep wounds.”

Bull is in the Tavern, he’s somewhere between drunk enough to make stupid decisions and not drunk enough to care. When Solas approaches him the elf’s eyes begging Bull follows him uses Grim and Krem to get him up the steps to the keep and into Anaan’s room.

“You are drunk.” Anaan says it as a statement though lets surprise creep into her voice. “Leave him here he will stay the night.” Anaan waves Krem and Grim away.

“Inquisitor.” Bull shakes off most of the drink watches Anaan carefully waits for her to say something, minutes pass and she is silent.

“I am sorry.” It is spoken in Common there is no word for sorry in Qunlat it isn’t said.

Bull debates holding onto his anger, is drunk enough to not care what she wants or thinks. “Not accepted. I won’t forgive you for what you did not now not ever.” Bull shakes his head again holds his head when things spin.

“You would have me take the field pregnant? You would have me face Corepheyus unable to defend myself? I am the Inquisitor I don’t get a choice, no choice for Corepheyus forward must go forward no time to stop no time to rest. I was careless we were careless I will not be so again.” Anaan has lost her temper watches as Bull reacts to the words closes his eyes.

“I can’t talk about this now, too drunk too hurt too much.” Bull takes off his harness, lays his weapon against the nightstand.

“Now who runs?” Anaan asks bitterly.

“I’m not running, strategic retreat due to hostile target and inability to think.” Bull scoops her up out of the bed coverlet and all places her on the chaise on the balcony.

“What are you doing?” Anaan is pissed hangs onto Bull out of necessity.

“Taking the bed, I am not sleeping with you don’t want to injure you can’t sleep on this thing but you can so sleep.”


	8. -Consequences-

First assassin doesn’t realize it’s Bull in the bed not Anaan until the Qunari is laying into him with claws and then his axe. Numbers two and three however realize Anaan is on the chaise manage to get close enough before Anaan has magic in her hands but it’s not fast enough the blade sinking into her chest Anaan feels her lung fill with blood knows she has minutes is gasping when Bull is to her scooping her up a litany of nos his only words as he gets to Solas’ room clears the elf’s table with a wave lays Anaan down. “Save her elf, she cannot die.” Solas is already weaving his magic is joined by Dorian and eventually the rest of the companions are crowded in along with a couple of the circle mages trying to heal Anaan their magic glancing, sliding off her like oil. Enough find purchase though that soon Anaan is breathing easier her body humming with magic. They've managed to heal her arm and her lungs, more is beyond them.

“If she carried she has lost the child, I am sorry Bull.” Senior circle member says bowing his head to Bull and walking out with the rest of his companions.

“Not a word Bull, I can use this to redeem her and we need it.” Josephine finally says when the room is empty of all but her, Cullen, Leliana and Bull.

“I wish either of you would have left at least one of them alive for me to question, their clothing is nondescript nothing to identify them by nothing on them that gives me a clue where this came from.” Leliana is frustrated.

“They were not Ben-Hassrath we’ve all been told keep her alive until the hole in the skies are closed.” Bull shakes his head glances at Anaan in the small bed in the cellar with Arvaarad and his Karasaad sleeping in the other room.

“Bull.” Josephine pushes watches as the man sigh and shake his head no regards Josephine knows exactly what this will entail to work.

“Sure why not, only people who know differently are in this room.”

Leliana shakes her head no, “What are you talking about” Cullen is echoing the sentiment then stops.

“She chose, dammit Bull my sympathies. Did she know?” Cullen casts a glare at Anaan sleeping peacefully.

“No, she did not know none of us did or could it was days old accuse her of many things but that is not one that falls on her head. I should have checked her, it was my fault.” Arvaarad watches the humans glares at Bull.

“Would it have mattered?” Cullen asks curious.

“You are at war, she must fight she cannot carry. I am Arvaarad, choice was made leave it be. You focus on wrong thing, forward go forward and find peace.” Arvaarad shakes his head walks back to the cot lays back down with a final scowl at the group.

Anaan begins to thrash on the bed Bull is to her out of habit his hands catching hers grits teeth against the magic. “Boss, Anaan wake up.” Anaan thrashes finally opens her eyes to see Bull her eyes swimming in tears. Bull keeps her hands pinned, waits out the tears releases her as she wraps in on herself leaves her only long enough to get his boots and harness off sets his weapon on the ground next to the cot as he slides in with her resting her on top of him. “Shh, easy boss you are okay I got ya.”

Next few days are tense for Anaan and Bull as he has to deal with the sympathies of the castle while Anaan still has to get her runes worked on no one has told her about the spin on the story of the assassins they know better. Runes done Anaan is up and dressed in formal as she goes down to the Hall heads to the throne sitting gingerly. “Petition.” Anaan announces causing Cullen to look at Josephine in surprise.

“Duchess DeGlice, your worship.” Josephine says it woodenly watches as the woman approaches the dais her face hidden in mask her dress very Orlesian.

“My country mourns with the Inquisition at the loss of her babe wishes the chance of many more.” Anaan’s face has lost all color as she looks at Bull.

“Well shit.” Varric says it quietly glances at Bull’s stone face as well watches as Josephine gets ready to speak is silenced by Anaan.

“Thank You.” Anaan says it quietly it’s the only thing she can say her eyes are still locked on Bull Josephine clearing her throat to break the contact calls in the next person. It is a sentiment that is expressed over and over and it is a bitter drought for both Anaan and Bull to swallow until the sun is down and Anaan waves off the last petitioner. “I will retire.”

Josephine shakes her head no, “This is the last one your worship.” Anaan nods listens as the man expresses his sympathies and hopes continue on to ask about a trade agreement.

Anaan directs him to the Quartermaster makes no promises waits until Josephine nods stands up carefully walking slowly to the stairs to her quarters smiles as Varric goes up the stairs with her chatting about this or that but nothing taxing just something to keep her mind occupied for the painful climb. “You will be okay to travel?” Varric asks and Anaan nods “I will be fine.”

“I’d bring Solas with us instead of Dorian or Vivienne Anaan, his healing might come in handy with you so sore.”

Anaan shakes her head no, “no.”

Varric sighs, “Okay, dinner should be up shortly let me know if you need anything.” Varric leaves her at the door heads back down.

Next day has Varric, Bull. Anaan, Blackwell, and Dorian headed to the Fallow Mire. With Anaan’s runes in place her attacks are fewer but still there and Bull deals with them but neither say much to the other Arvaarad has moved on with his men Anaan desperately wishing to go with them knows she cannot. When they get to the Fallow Mire they are greeted by Scout Harding and see a red tent among the white which has Anaan frowning. “Qunari?” She asks and Harding nods.

“Arvaarad for the Inquisitor.”

There is a laugh from the tent as the male walks out. “Introduce me that way and I’ll be lucky if I don’t land in chains.” He approaches Anaan carefully which gives her a moment to really look at him. Bronze skin, his horns pure shiny black they lay against his head thick against the base sweeping back with no curl to just past his head. His body is slighter than Bull, his armor fits him well shoulders covered with the chest left bear with a sword on one hip his control rod on the other and a shield on his back. Earrings pierce his ears but it is the grass green eyes that catch Anaan he sees through her dares her to challenge him. Anaan steps forward out of instinct, the male already humming grasping her arms and placing his forehead on hers “Saarebas need I provide. I am Arvaarad though most call me Avar.” Avar’s nails are short his hands firm as he pulls Anaan close keeps a hold of her until her breathing settles her heart as well stepping back when she’s calmed.

Avar looks at Bull, “Ah The Iron Bull, I was told to answer any and all questions you had of me that you are Ben-Hassrath.” Anaan introduces the rest of the group moves away with Harding to hear the rest of the report with the others as Bull starts asking questions of Avar.

“So he’s the one that won the duels, started with 6 Arvaarads and he won so he’s damn good in a fight, does not have any Saarebas, lost his the first day he got here to an Arvaarad that killed him after he lost a duel for it I didn’t know you guys did that.” Harding is shaking her head in surprise.

“Arvaarad can challenge for other Saarebas, not normally done but after battles when one does not have any they will.” Anaan shrugs.

“Well in the meantime our men are being held by the local Avaar they want to challenge you since you are the Inquisitor and your god challenges theirs. Between here and there are undead, lots of undead.”

Anaan nods looks at Blackwell when the man indicates he can add, “Stay out of the water if you can, it attracts the undead more there was a plague here about 15 years ago that swept through never did find the source.” Blackwell adds, “Also there are some Grey Warden things here I would like to recover.”

Anaan nods glances back at the tent again. “He’s going to be handling you Anaan go in there if you want.” Anaan follows Varric’s counsel ducking into the tent scowling when she sees Bull has tied Arvaarad to a chair.

“Bull.” Anaan crosses her arms in exasperation.

“Almost done boss, he’s solid though.” Bull releases Arvaarad from the chair watches as the man stretches his arms catches Anaan when she trips over the ropes trying to help Bull with them. “Stop Anaan, I got this.”

Bull waves her off as she looks at Avar. “Check your runes? I need to see what I am working with.” Anaan grabs the rod when its presented holds it as Avar reads her runes frowns at some of them smiles at others. “Two Arvaarads I see, I’ve never had a female Saarebas outside the Qun, and you’re rare. Powerful too who did the last rune work?” Avar shakes his head traces the Arvaarad’s name, “never mind you had an actual Arvaarad replace them, he was your original you had another then back to the original but since you’re Tal-Vashoth he did the work and left, three days ago from the look of the ink. You are recently sterilized too; you sacrifice much for the Qun Anaan.” Anaan stays still as Avar continues to run hands over her seeing what causes her to breath quick, what earns a flinch what makes her flush. “I am here to keep you in control; I don’t lead though this will be my first time where my Saarebas led. I’ll help you get your tasks done here we’ll see how it works if we suit I’ll stay.” Avar waits for her to nod before he steps away from her notices her eyes dilate her breath hitch watches as Bull runs fingers down her back. 

“Easy boss. He’s overwhelmed you, over sensitized you, meditate.” Anaan leaves the tent finds a likely place and sits down tunes out the others as they find out about Avar ask him questions as he asks them.

“Arvaarad seem to be chatty folks.” Varric observes watching as Avar drinks the same Dragon Piss Anaan and Bull do waves the skin away.

“We travel with a group who aren't allowed to speak, literally have their mouths sewn shut. Then we are sent out for months sometimes years at a time with that group so yes we are chatty when we get the chance.” Avar offers a lopsided smile at Varric. Varric would agree this Qunari would be considered handsome in that rugged way, his jaw is square his nose straight without a hook coming to an almost feminine point. His lips are lush in only the way a writer would write them and with those green eyes yeah this one is definitely a pretty boy. “Varric, study me any more carefully and I might ask you to bed.” Avar winks at the dwarf changes his attention to Anaan who sits near Varric takes the food offered eats in silence.

“So Inquisitor, what is the plan while we are here?” Anaan regards Avar steadily watches those green eyes takes a few more bites.

“Rescue, stop undead and close rifts not in that order.” Anaan finishes eating takes the rest of the plates cleans them quickly heads into her tent to sleep.

“Anaan, wake. It is a dream.” Avar is looking at her stroking her face chanting low waits until her runes stop glowing. “Easy, you had the same Arvaarad Yas did. He was a bastard, but Yas was free when I found him. You though, you spent years with him we will make better dreams together Anaan. I am here you are safe.” Anaan cups his face steady breaths gulping for air.

“Boss you okay?” Bull comes in takes her hand when she is grabbing for him buries her nose in his chest takes more gulping breaths until he pulls a scrap of leather out hands it to her watches as she keeps it to her nose breaths again slower. “Shh Anaan.” Need hits her, she is tracing tongue and teeth on her mark though Bull pushes her away. “No. Done with that.” Bull quotes her leaves as Anaan clutches the leather breathing becoming quieter as she lays back down keeps the leather clutched tightly.

“Explain.” Avar needs to figure out what he just saw, why she clutches the leather and why her Kadan just coldly rejected her.

Anaan shakes her head no, “Leave.” Avar does though wheels are already spinning.

When Anaan comes out of her tent in the morning she is greeted by Avar and a length of rope which he quickly binds her wrists with it in front of her keeps the other end of it in his hand like a leash. “Really? Not even going to ask just bind and go huh?” Dorian shakes his head no.

“Usually they are clapped back in irons and their mouths sewn shut until the Arvaarad knows them better. Hers broke her legs within minutes of her coming into his possession, used the recovery time to bind her to him don't rile against something you don't understand.” Avar can read her body like a book knows exactly who did what and why.

“How do you know that?” Varric asks knows Anaan wouldn't volunteer that information.

“My last Saarebas was trained by the same one, plus you can see it in the way she walks. Our bodies will tell you all you want to know when you can't use words.” Avar hands Anaan food watches her as she glowers at him.

“Not even going to ask how to get off the leash huh? Okay. This will work faster when you decided to talk to me.” Avar looks at the group as the rest of the men laugh levels Dorian with a glare.

“Now now gorgeous eyes, I'm not on your menu for obedience not that I mind being tied. But getting her to talk, pick up a rock you'd get more conversation.” Dorian quips winks at Anaan.

“I answer when needed.” Anaan answers without inflection with nothing else. “We have tasks.” Anaan stands up walks over to the Dracolisk and has no problem working everything with the leash and the two hands tied together.

“I wish I could do half the things she does when she is tied.” Varric watches as Anaan quickly saddles the mount without tangling the line or pulling on Avar in the process hers long practice.

Staying out of the water they head through the mire find veilfire and runes. Anaan lights the fire examines the rune drops the torch when undead rise out of the water coming towards them. “Control Dorian.”

Dorian shakes his head no, “I can't these are someone else’s minions we'll get them down though it’s not that many.” Dorian lands a ring of fire around the group giving them light and thinning the horde as they approach.

“Anaan, free range of spells let’s see what you have.” Avar has his shield out catches a group of the undead takes a few heads ducks as Anaan casts lightning to hover over the group shooting randomly. “Ah, you still have the standard set of Qunari spells got anything else?” Anaan obliges by having Dorian's flames dance channels them into a gout engulfing an entire group spins a globe of magic at another group blocks the sword of the last undead leans back as Bull's swing takes off the things head.

Varric loots the undead and they move on to another island and more runes. “These must be a set, looks like there are four of them.” Arvaarad studies the rune closer.

Blackwell opens the door of a house gags stepping back from it as Dorian enters rifles through the papers and notes. Waves a hand to light the bodies on fire keeps the flames contained to the bodies. “Looks like this one was a scholar, figured out the plague was the work of a malificar named Hortence wow poor man.”

“Death mage you can sense him. Show us Dorian.” Anaan orders and Dorian nods heading into the swampy area to the east. Blackwell keeps close to the mage they work as a unit to keep the undead down though Dorian takes random blood samples of different bodies he finds.

“What are you doing Dorian?” Blackwell finally asks.

“These samples can give the healers a chance to cure this plague to also study and figure out what is poisoning this land it shouldn't be this bad.” Dorian finishes his collecting stands still for a moment. “There, mage is in there pretty decent set of minions too one moment folks.” Dorian gathers some dead of his own sets a few to explode. “Okay pay attention you melee types the ones that glow will explode when you hit them.”

“Send them I explode.” Anaan offers smiles slightly at Dorian.

“Brilliant plan Inquisitor.” Dorian sends his undead smiles as Anaan casts a huge globe of magic sends it down then claps several of the bombs exploding at once.

“Now that spell I haven't seen before, very nice.” Avar nods.  
Entering the grove Anaan is struck by the wrongness of the place, looks to see Dorian agrees as the malificar attacks them his a series of horror and fear spells Dorian nullifies though a few slip through including one that grabs Bull, his fear of Demons a living thing as it claws at him.

Anaan is still standing as is Dorian both manage to finally kill the malificar as their companions grapple with their own fears on the ground. “Easy folks, damn I will need to work on them one at a time see if you can get Bull’s weapon away from him I don’t fancy being cleaved in two.” Anaan steps carefully to Bull hers a soothing litany of the Qun a reminder it will protect him, he has climbed his pillars he has made this journey before finally he settles shaking and shivering all over.

“Demons.” Is the only word he can say though he does not wrap Anaan up merely walks off away from the group bracing a hand on the rock wall that forms part of the grove. Blackwell manages to triumph over his own his eyes watching carefully and shaking his head when Anaan would comfort. Avar, He sits on the ground knees pulled up his face hidden Anaan sits in front of him hands out to the side places head to ground her forehead barely touching it

“Saarebas Anaan are you my Arvaarad?” Avar rises automatically his hand already catching hers looping the rope over them catching the other.

“I am Arvaarad Avar victory is the Qun, Control is my way.” Gently pulling her up foreheads meet Avar looks to see where the rest of the group is sees Bull watching him looks back to Anaan when she moves.

“Yas.” Anaan says the name quietly Avar nods allows Anaan to move off a bit watches as she checks on the rest of the group activates an Elvin artifact that would make the veil stronger.

“You have no fears?” Dorian asks as they camp that night.

“Already happened, nothing worse.”

Avar studies Anaan as she says this wonders if she will give him more. “Explain.”

Anaan glances at Avar clenches her fists. “Arvaarad fell in battle, my fault didn't complete spell, caught by blade taken and freed.” Anaan shivers at that.

“You did not leave on your own?” Avar is surprised at this.

“No. Other Arvaarad there, obey him.”

“What’s it like in Par Vollen?” Varric asks sees Anaan shake her head no gets up to go meditate stops when she realizes she is still leashed.

“Meditate.” Anaan asks Avar stands and follows her sits behind her his crossed legs touching her back watches as she tenses.

“Accept.” Anaan relaxes out of habit places his hands under hers going through the familiar pattern of prayer long sinuous movements familiar relaxing as the sun sets.

“Never seen that before.” Varric shakes his head as he watches.

“It’s a way for him to learn her body, a way for them to see how the other will move in combat you’ll see more of it in the morning.” Bull is right as Anaan steps through the patterns with Avar though Bull frowns when he realizes Avar is aroused by the movements by the play off the skin the way her body absorbs the sun pays homage to it even in this dank shit hole of a place.

“Bull, you are growling.” Dorian observes calling his attention back to the fire.

“Sure he’s only after controlling her?” Varric asks watching Anaan and Avar.

“I couldn’t explain what they are to each other if I tried Varric I just don’t have the words.”

“Try.” Blackwell asks finishing breakfast and ready to move again.

Bull sighs, “Most Qunari society treats Saarebas like attack dogs, they are not people earn no rank or title other than Saarebas.” Bull shrugs, “Arvaarad is their owner, he or she controls them Saarebas corrupt with every word they speak they are chaos and must be controlled and that is his job. Only Arvaarad interact with Saarebas, he has to make her into a weapon of war so there is huge trust there but it’s never sexual Saarebas are not allowed to have children.” Anaan finishes the pattern walks towards the group. “But many an Arvaarad has gone Tal-Vashoth because it’s become sexual, because he or she couldn’t control the urge.”

Varric smiles as Anaan gets there earning a thoughtful look from Anaan mainland is ahead and the group hits heavy rounds of undead, “Run for the Keep we can’t take this many.” Blackwell motions the group forward keeps a shield between the undead and Dorian while Avar does the same for Anaan Varric and Bull working together to get them into the keep. Anaan is already racing up the steps while Avar heads up on the other side Anaan hits her lever at the same time Avar does slamming the keep’s gate closed though arrows split the air as this happens and Anaan is lobbing globes at the Avaar staying on the high ground hers a stand and throw magic tactic Bull despises.

“Anaan, get down here now!” Bull yells seeing a group headed to her knows she can’t hear him won’t respond to him in battle.

“Kadan!” Anaan jumps from the ledge Bull catches her a quick visual confirms she is okay as the group that was after her comes back down to attack them. Eventually they are all dead Dorian working with his limited healing to get them up to snuff while Anaan hands out potions and bandages tending the cut on Avar’s arm herself.

“You should have been with me.” Avar admonishes places a hand on her face calms his breathing she is okay.

“Bull.” He shakes his head at her no moves away from her.

“We both agreed it was over you can’t just fix that with a word.” Anaan frowns slightly as Bull looks at her. “You didn’t mean to, you were apologizing.”

Anaan nods points to the next group of Avaar that are headed towards them all conversation stopped as battle rings through. “Enough, I will challenge the Inquisitor one on one her god being far less than mine.” Anaan is facing the largest man she has seen in a very long time. He is human but with the goatskin over his head giving him horns and the blue paint marking his face he is strange to her.

“You are not human, what are you?” He has a hammer over one shoulder Anaan watches him move doesn’t take the bait to move away from her group.

“I am Qunari.” Anaan answers hers the balanced pose of battle.

“Female too if those tits are any indication.” Anaan is used to this posturing doesn’t even acknowledge it. “Your gods against mine, one on one prepare yourself. Yield or die, if you surrender my god will accept you as concubine.”

Bull growls at that one though Anaan tilts her head at the unfamiliar word. “Explain.” Anaan asks lets the laughter of the Avaars roll off her.

“Means I have a wife, but I would bed you too.”

Anaan arches an eyebrow at the man, “No bas can please a Qunari in or out of bed you are bas not worthy of Qunari.” When he charges her Anaan sidesteps dances out of the way.

“Inquisitor I think he took offense to that.” Blackwell chuckles as the Avaar charges her again.

“I speak truth, that he does not accept it is not my fault.” Anaan lobes a globe of magic into the man watches as he flinches it off. “Impressive human, you fight well.” Anaan lays down the electricity trap doesn’t move when he comes at her watches as the man hits his knees literally smoking from the trap as Anaan steps behind him her dagger already at his neck. “Yield.” When the Avaar tries to spin and stab her Anaan shoots her electricity right into his chest catches him gently lowering him to the ground. “Do not struggle, there is nothing to struggle against the tide rises the tide falls victory is the Qun.”

The rest of the Avaar folks kneel offering their weapons which Anaan does not take. “Honored Mother, we bow to you.”

Anaan indicates for them to rise. “You will release my men to me you will not attack Inquisition again. I do not want war with you.” Prisoners are lead out a couple helped by the Avaar Dorian heals them enough to allow them to limp. Anaan looks at her hand as the mark acts up sees the faint green of a rift farther in the keep heads towards it. “Bull stay with men, Blackwell rest with me.” Anaan quickly gets to the rift sees the shades and a despair demon floating gets them down and closes the rift.

“So it is true you can heal the holes in the sky. Maybe my god wants me to help you.” Anaan regards the human, he is as tall as she is built like Bull all wide shoulders and bulk his hammer carried easily over his shoulder. “I am Sky-Watcher, I would help the Inquisition if I can.”

Anaan nods, “Inform the Inquisition if there are more rifts, let me know if your brethren decide to attack us again.” Sky Watcher offers the hammer and Anaan touches it in reverence, “I accept your hammer and your words Sky-Watcher.” Shouldering the Hammer he walks away Anaan moving back to collect the prisoners and Bull.

“Still need to deal with the rest of the undead, we can’t take them through the gates like this.” Varric indicates the mass of bodies pressing on the gate.

“We will help with that, mother.” One of the Avaar offer and it is a movable army as they clear back to the camp getting the prisoners the medical attention they need.

“Anaan, let me see.” Avar walks towards her when everyone is settled for the night.

“I am fine.” Anaan waves it off Avar narrows his eyes at her.

“Submit.” Anaan hits her knees wrists offered for binding which Avar does.

“Inquisitor, there is a package for you.” Requisition officer approaches indicate the box on the table.

Anaan looks up at Avar waits for the nod before she walks to it unwrapping the package with her hands bound smiles when she sees the chains and the color. “Ambassador did well.” Anaan traces the cuffs with a finger feels the burn of the metal.

“You asked for chains?” Avar is surprised taken aback actually.

“Yes, need control.” Anaan sends up a globe of light to illuminate the table as Avar examines the chains shakes his head.

“You do know the meaning of Tal-Vashoth right?” Anaan nods. “As Tal-Vashoth you cannot wear the chains you aren’t worthy of them.” Anaan glares at Arvaarad moves to walk off. “Anaan.”

When he would walk towards her she holds up a hand, “Katoh. You said no.”

Avar crosses his arms regards her, “I said you weren’t worthy I didn’t say no. You are Tal-Vashoth if you want to wear chains than wear them want to say the prayers than do so, want to deny your Kadan than go ahead but none of it will make you Qunari you are pretending to be something you are not.”

“I am Qunari.” It is said with slight anger Anaan’s stance one of defiance, rest of the group is clueless what is going on though Bull watches in curiosity.

“If you were Qunari you would be dead.” Anaan clenches her hands when she highlights her runes Avar is to her grabbing her hands spinning her keeping her hands contained his head near her ear, “No Anaan, you will not kill yourself here and now too much to do too many people depend on you. Calm Anaan I will not be parted from you this soon.” Anaan’s breath catches her gaze jumping to Bull.

Avar runs a hand down her arm, breathes slowly down her neck releases her hands allows them to fall to her sides as he strokes and traces. “Want Anaan, you want this, you want him.” Anaan has her eyes closed hers a world of sensation.

“Arvaarad.” 

That breathy admission is met by a rumbling chuckle, “Wrong equipment for my tastes Anaan, besides I am not the one you want. Want Anaan not need, want.” Avar steps back clamps his teeth together against Anaan’s arousal breathes carefully.

“No.” Anaan shakes her head walks away from the group sits to meditate instead. Bull growls in frustration and goes into his tent sounds of him rearranging things violently evident.

“Uh uh, what was the point of that?” Varric asks very familiar with the stiff posture of Anaan as she meditates.

“Explaining the difference between want and need to a Qunari is a bit like arguing with a wall.” Avar sighs hands on hips glances at Blackwell as the man roars in laughter.

“Finally met our Inquisitor have you? She is the rock the waves crash against hoping to gain purchase. They will eventually but it will be because she allows it.”

Anaan finishes meditating goes to check on the prisoners, weaving through them making sure they would be okay.

“She is getting better interacting with the humans.” Varric nods towards Anaan watching as she bandages the leg offers water to another.

“Still hasn’t gotten the smiling thing down.” Dorian shakes his head as a man shrinks back from the look on Anaan’s face. When one of the women gently rubs Anaan on the back whispering low Anaan goes pale.

“Time to entertain the masses I think.” Varric heads over to the group allows Anaan to extract herself from them watches as Anaan heads to her tent closes the flap opens it walks over to Bull’s rapping on the flap.

“Enter.” Bull sounds tired is not expecting Anaan when she comes in sitting when he indicates watches her from his seat on his bedroll. “Inquisitor.” Bull is formal knows that is what she wants by the tenseness of her shoulders the way she regards him carefully.

“Why did you allow the lie to stand?” Bull looks away. “It is a constant reminder I do not need. I chose, I did not know but I chose this lie hurts.”

Bull catches his breath at that. “If,”

Anaan cuts him off, “No. I will not travel that path with you my path is chosen.”

“You chose my path for me as surely as your Arvaarad falling shoved you from the Qun. You killed our child, made sure there is no option of any others. Did it with the information of a two minute conversation where I said maybe.”

Anaan waves a hand stopping Bull’s tirade. “Nothing to do with the lie, you are upset for the carrying I get that I said I was sorry that I didn’t know and I didn’t. Why the lie?”

Bull lets out a frustrated sigh shakes his head. “Why does it bother you?” Bull asks anyways.

“False sympathy, I do not regret the choice. Neither of us can move forward with the lie there.”

Bull doesn’t say anything for a minute hopes something in that statement will trigger something in Anaan gives up after several minutes. “We needed the lie for the sympathy after SkyHold saw their leader submit to the horned heathens and marched out with not a single fight. It is known you and I are together, when two people are together it is assumed they will want children, that we lost ours earns us the sympathy we needed after the Qunari came and seemed to take over.”

Anaan doesn’t say anything for a long time. “They should not fear the Qunari, the Qun will embrace them all eventually. They should be thankful when that happens, the Qun will help them.” Bull laughs really laughs sees Anaan’s scowl and laughs more. “I amuse you?” Anaan is confused.

“Oh Cullen and Cassandra will do well in the Qun but Varric, Leliana will not neither could embrace the pillars much less achieve them. You would see Dorian bound and silenced?”

Anaan shakes her head no, “Dorian would not be allowed he is Tevinter they would kill him I will not see the pretty human killed.”

Bull lifts an eyebrow at that. “Dorian is pretty?”

Anaan nods, “He is flawless for a human male, would attract many with his wit, charm, looks during the festival.”

Bull shakes his head no. “Dorian prefers men, would be wasted as a Qunari.”

Anaan shrugs, “does not make him less attractive to females there have been plenty of females aroused by Dorian.”

Bull knows the statement to be true wonders, “Blackwell.”

Anaan shakes her head no then stops. “He is a Warden, would be a good Akasarri or Karasten he can lead men, his battle prowess would make him useful.”

Bull nods at the assessment. Anaan gets up to leave, “Done talking?”

Anaan nods, “Lie is necessary to appease humans, I will accept it I do not want more discussion about carrying Bull. Arvaarad has said I need to live in the Grey, I will do as told.”

Bull sighs exasperated. “I am not sure if you are missing the point because you want to or if you truly don’t understand what he is asking.”

“He has said it I will do it what is the problem?” Anaan is confused doesn’t understand why she wouldn’t follow what her Arvaarad has asked her to do.

“You need to do this for yourself, you need to want it not because someone told you to. If offered an apple or a peach which would you chose?” Bull is racking his brain trying to come up with a way to explain this to Anaan.

“Neither, I do not like fruit.”

Avar chuckles at that as he comes in the tent. “Sorry but that one I couldn’t resist. You can’t explain choice to her Bull.”

Bull sighs, “I see that, I can’t wait to see you try.”

Anaan is looking at both of the men holds a hand up. “Avar need Anaan?” Avar is not ready for the arousal that hits him at those words steps away from Anaan even as she looks at him puzzled.

“You are not Tamassran.”

Avar backs up again sees the understanding dawn in Anaan’s eyes. “Bull is trained.” Anaan offers quietly leaves before either can say anything.

“Okay what just happened?” Avar shakes his head in confusion.

“My Kadan offered me to you to deal with your needs, it is the Qunari way but not something I actually would do.” Bull shakes his head as well.

“You still call her Kadan, you want to work it out with her.” Avar nods slowly.

“What did you want?” Bull changes the subject rather than deal with that.

“I wanted to see if she wanted to wear the chains, if so I need to get them to react to my rod.” Avar admits.

“Do you understand why she wants the chains?” Bull asks instead.

“Yes more clinging to the Qun, plus control she was told day one this is your life lived it for however many years then her Arvaarad was injured and her little world exploded. Dealt with that and managed to accept living with an Arvaarad that was very abusive, lost that one to the conclave, got turned into the Herald, went from never being in control to being told you need to lead. She has thousands of lives in her hands when she was raised to have none. I get the need to cling to the familiar because that teaches no matter what it is there.” Avar summarizes it quickly regarding Bull as he does it. “She used the Qun as a coping mechanism to deal with the shit the other Arvaarad put her through; Yas was with him for 6 months had the nightmares until the day he died. He had her for years, not sure how many though.”

Bull is having his world rocked by a man who walked into their lives less than a week ago. “6 years.” Bull says it quietly.

“6 years out of the chains she found as a comfort. She earned those chains; they were safety, security, since she’s been out of them it’s been utter chaos and pain.” Avar walks out nearly runs Anaan over as she waits by the tent door for him on her knees head bowed. “I cannot make you worthy of the chains Anaan; I can earn your trust to control you with them on.” Anaan’s head yanks up at that silver looks straight into green and nods carefully. Avar grabs the chains from the table takes them into his tent as Anaan disappears into hers.

Careful slices made can’t touch the runes, claws pulled one by one, not good enough didn’t kill the target moved when should have stood still, caused him pain when he grabbed her before the spell was done jaw not healed yet before it meets his fist. Audible snap as fingers break under his boot, need control won’t let him push to lose it, “Anaan, wake up Anaan!” Bull is waking her up she screams when he grabs her hands rolls away from him tries to calm down dives out of the tent to throw up her arms wrapped around herself body wracked with chills. When Bull would touch her she stumbles away from him.

“Katoh, I am Maraas, Katoh, I am sorry please stop I didn’t mean to hurt you when I cast, I will be faster, Katoh Katoh.”

“Anaan, its Bull, you are okay.” Anaan can’t hear him, her mind still trapped Bull takes the steps and wraps her up.

“Bull.” Anaan shakes her head stands shakily out of his arms looks for the skin of dragon piss finds it shakily takes a swig glances at her tent checks the angle of the moon.

“Come to bed Anaan.” Bull offers watches as Anaan shakes her head no.

“You are not Kadan, you are not Arvaarad, you are Bull.”

“Anaan.” Avar says it quietly waits for her to cross to him to accept the rub and the arm pulls her into his tent steps back out and grabs her bedroll bringing it into the tent setting it up against the wall away from his. Anaan has already stripped out of her pants slides into the bedroll hangs onto Arvaarad’s ankle as he sits next to her waits for her to sleep again isn’t ready for the tentative touch on his arm or the gentle kiss on his brow her fingers finding his horns seeking finding the rub hears as he moans though catches her hands. “No. Katoh.”

Anaan yanks her hands back shakes her head. “I need to erase, I need.” Avar stops her stands up stripping her top off of her runs hands over her runes traces each line carefully the light playing off the silver making them dance against her skin. Pulls her over to his bedroll grabs her wrist pushing the inside making her kneel traces fingers along the underside of her arm having her lay down getting in behind her wrapping her up his hands still stroking Anaan falls asleep with him stroking her keeping a slow steady chant finally sleeping himself.

Anaan and Avar are up and working through patterns and movements him subtly correcting her on stance adjusting his to match hers until they move as one. Anaan and team leave the freed prisoners to get back to SkyHold as they work to finish closing rifts and killing the rest of the undead. Anaan is lighter in her steps it’s the happiest Varric has seen her in weeks.

“You do good work.” Varric comments watching Anaan carefully get through the swamp her arms out to keep her balance.

“She is still struggling, doesn’t trust me, we have a long way to go.” Avar is watching her too sees when her right leg catches after a step wonders if she’d tolerate him working on that.

“She is practically skipping at how happy she is, for her that is a miracle.” Varric unsheathes his crossbow works on the line of undead sees a group surrounding Anaan her staff out as they surround her one hand holding a globe sending it up watches as she sweeps a group keeps one off of Blackwell who is next to her. Anaan loops fire around the group pulling from Dorian’s spell earning a smile from the necromancer as he finishes off his group send a gout of flames at the lone one by Avar who cuts its head off.

“That is the last of them.” Bull confirms along with Dorian.

“SkyHold.” Anaan confirms heads back to camp staying within arm’s reach of Avar at all times.


	9. -Careful-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for mistakes in this chapter. Writing two fics at the same time seems to be messing with my head.

When they return back to camp there is another red tent Avar is pulling Anaan behind him a touch to her wrist and her arm setting her on her knees ready to attack if needed. Bull grabs Dorian putting a hand over the mage's mouth when he would protest sets him next to Anaan. Bull's axe is casual on his shoulder Avar sees the two Saarebas on the ground in front of the tent in the same pose Anaan is wearing chains. However while one is a Qunari male the other Saarebas is an Elvin female her lips sewn shut her face free of the Dalish writing.

“Stay close folks, no idea if this is a proper Qunari hunting Tal-Vashoth or if it’s an Arvaarad hunting for Anaan.” Bull walks closer to the tent notices neither Saarebas make any move to let their Arvaarad know they aren't alone. “Shanedan.” Bull calls doesn't wait long as the Qunari comes out, he is bare chested one of his black horns is broken, replaced by a gold cap. His face is marked with a scar though he ducks his head to Bull.

“Shanedan, I am Saar here for the Inquisitor.” Red eyes quickly take in the rest of the group rest on Anaan crouched watching Saar as he sees Avar inclines his head. “Gold, female, silver horns not chained interesting. Saarebas.” Anaan inclines her head to him stays where she is at.

“Who are all of you?” Saar has his control rod out a great sword peeking over his shoulder.

“Hissrad is the only one you need to know right now.” Bull is not putting down his weapon notices the Elvin female is uncomfortable kneeling as she is.

“I challenge the Arvaarad.” Saar moves past Bull walks up to Anaan reaching down and touching her on the head. Anaan stands walks towards Saar head bowed her posture one of submission as he walks around her.

When he would get closer to her though Avar blocks him glances at the Elvin female as well takes a deep sniff. “She carries, you breed them!” Avar has his weapon out takes out his shield as well.

“You don't? Plenty of Tal-Vashoth groups that will pay a pretty penny for a Saarebas her with her gold and silver would breed well with my male.” Avar is furious, as is Bull.

“I cannot carry.” Anaan offers quietly knows Saar glances at her shakes his head no.

“Then I am not interested.” He turns walks away has his tent down and is gone shortly.

“Anaan, put your tent up but you are sleeping in mine.” Avar says it in common wants the group to know what is going on.

“You think he'll try anyways?” Varric asks as both Bull and Avar nod in unison.

“Those silver horns of hers mark her as matriarch bloodlines, very old very powerful with lots of promise. He won't believe she can't carry unless he sees it himself would still try to sell her if he can get his hands on her.” Bull hands Anaan her plate notices she has gone silent.

“Anaan?” Blackwell asks wondering where her mind is off to. Anaan looks at Blackwell blinks and shakes her head. Blackwell ends up telling a story of one of his campaigns smiles when he is toasted at the end of it.

“Why did you not kill the Arvaarad? Why did you allow him to leave knowing he will continue to breed the Sarebaas something you two seem to have issues with?” Varric asks.

“If we killed him there is no guarantee the Sarebaas wouldn't kill themselves as well. What he does is wrong but is it worth 4 lives?” Bull asks.

“So it doesn't matter how the Arvaarad treats his charges they will die for him? They will kill themselves if he dies?” Dorian can't wrap his mind around it.

“I did not, there was another Arvaarad when I awoke to control me, part of my commands were if another Arvaarad orders you obey. He was there, he told me live so I did.” Anaan watches Dorian as she says this.

“I can't understand the blind following, I just don't get it.” Varric shakes his head looks at Anaan.

“You believe in the Maker right? Or do you follow the Dwarven traditions?” Avar moves closer to Anaan runs a hand down her back scowls when she moves away.

“I follow the Maker.” Varric admits.

“You follow something you have never seen, say prayers to something you will never likely see how is that not blind following?” Avar watches as Varric tries to work a defense up.

“Leave it Avar, yours is not the job of conversion.” Bull interrupts catches Avar's eyes in his own nods to Anaan. “She is your charge leave the Qun to the Qunari.” Avar inclines his head to Varric in apology.

“Show me how you got the shapes in the fire Anaan.” Dorian asks sitting next to Anaan. Anaan looks to Avar who nods, pulls some flames from the fire and works it into a ball.

“Can you call fire or only work with fire offered?” Avar asks watches as Anaan's runes glow slightly showing him how much power and control she is using.

“Offered.” Anaan stretches the fire out waits for Dorian to get his into a ball.

“How do you do that?” Dorian asks as his fire falls apart.

“Think of it like dough feel it squish between fingers.” Anaan says in Qunlat Avar translating.

“Squishy fire, who would have thought.” Varric is jotting notes down as the two mages work the fire.

“Grasp the image you want the fire to make then shape it.” Anaan stretches it gives the fire wings turns it into a dragon. Dorian tries to copy has his fall apart tries again. “Make easy shapes long like stick then put wings on it.” Dorian's dragon looks more like a dragon fly but it’s more than the way he had it before lets the image go watches as Anaan lets her dragon take flight.

“Can all Qunari do things like that?” Varric asks Avar nods.

“To a degree yes, their magic is strictly offensive, mostly pure energy spells or barriers, we do have some healers but not many.” Avar confirms. “Control is the key with the Saarebas mages, some of the Arvaarad will put their Saarebas together let them teach each other.”

“They are always part of the Antaam though?” Dorian asks.

“Military yes, there are a few healers in the medical parts but very few too great a risk of corruption.” Avar looks at Anaan notices the mage is working with her electrical spells. “Anaan, want to see if the collar works with your runes?” Anaan nods waits as Avar puts it on her hits a few runes quickly takes it off when her runes light up like a beacon frowns at it. “Not yet, I'll work on it.”

Anaan offers a globe of magic as Avar works on the collar twisting runes doing different sequences. “How do those work?” Varric is curious ever curious about the Qunari.

“That I can't explain to you, sorry Varric that is Qunari stuff.” Avar does launch into a story about Seharon the island off of Tevinter the mages and Qunari have fought over for years.

“Arvaarad.” Anaan asks at the end of the story Avar nods puts the collar and tools up follows her into his tent notices she lays down on her bedroll. Saar doesn't try for Anaan though both Bull and Avar stay on alert all the way back to SkyHold.

“I need to call council.” Anaan doesn't look at Bull rest nod and move off to get baths and relax after being gone. “Bull.” Anaan says it hesitantly.

“Stuff is already out Anaan, Avar will be set up in your office Josephine already set up your office in a corner of your rooms should be fine.” Bull nods heads to the Tavern.

“Come with me, I'll show you where that is you will meet Council.” Anaan leads Avar into the castle doesn't acknowledge the people that offer greetings doesn't acknowledge anyone as she walks up the steps into the keep sees Cullen walking towards her.

“Inquisitor, welcome home. Shall I call council in an hour?” Anaan nods.

“Commander Cullen, this is Avar my Arvaarad we will meet with him before the council in the Ambassador's office.” Anaan introduces quickly.

“Good to meet you we'll speak more at the meeting.” Cullen moves off Anaan leads Avar up the steps to her chambers shows him where his room is which is already furnished with a bed wash stand and armor stand.

“If you need anything please let me or Myra know.” Myra spins her face lighting up at seeing Anaan.

“Inquisitor you are back! Shall I run a bath? Council in an hour I am sure you are hungry who is the male?” Myra comes towards Anaan dipping her head in respect.

“Myra, this is Avar my Arvaarad. His bedroom is the office you will assist him as needed.” Anaan is short and quick. “Yes to the bath, yes to the food bring some for him as well.” Myra darts off nearly runs over an elf holding food and drink on a tray manages to help the elf not spill the contents.

“Inquisitor your snack, I brought enough for Bull as well.” Rio, Anaan remembers his name frowns at Avar as he stands there.

“Thank you.” Myra takes the tray from the elf places it on the table darts to the bathroom.

“Bath?” Anaan asks as Myra comes back out of the bathroom in time to hear that. “Myra, Avar is my Arvaarad, not my Kadan tell me the difference.”

“Arvaarad is control, Kadan is heart Qunari bathe communally elves do as well actually and there are public baths in many human cities as well. You need not explain your activities to me Inquisitor, you trust me for my discretion I'd never betray that. Now what do you want to wear? Are you doing anything other than council?” Myra falls back on formality knows Anaan will appreciate it earns a nod.

“Just the Council, honestly I am tired. Green for victory.” Anaan decides heads towards the bath keeping breastband and smallclothes on as she steps into the cool water sighs in content smiles when Avar comes in brings the food and drink with him.

“We can eat while we bathe; I know you don't have much time before you need to be in council is this too warm?” Avar frowns at the water adjusts it for cooler turns to see Anaan dunking her head her white hair fanning out around her as she released it from its bun.

“Dagna help you in undercroft.” Anaan says between mouthfuls of sandwich washes it down with Bull's favorite Orlesian wine.

“I'll find her while you are in the council. What you did that night, never again okay? This doesn't work like that.” Avar indicates for her to come to him as he holds washcloth and soap.

“Understood.” Avar is quick and thorough as he washes her checking her runes she washes him as well getting used to his body the way it moves any scars or new injuries. Clean Anaan is out dries Avar as he dries her turbans her hair shrugs into a robe heading into her closet to get clean clothes and change even as Avar heads to his room to do the same.

“Inquisitor.” Josephine greets as her and Avar walk in Anaan inclines her head in greeting waits for the others to arrive. “Avar this is Ambassador Josephine, Sister Leliana, Seeker Cassandra and you have already met Commander Cullen. Group this is Avar my Arvaarad.”

“So long as you don't put her in chains or ropes in the middle of SkyHold's population or question her in public nice to meet you.” Leliana levels the Qunari with a glare.

“Your council are bas?” Avar asks quietly surprised.

“No they are human, completely different than bas.” Anaan answers scathingly.

“Kost Anaan, I meant no slight.” Avar reaches out strokes her left arm making her relax automatically. Anaan arches into the contact drawing a smile from Avar.

“I won't put her in chains or ropes in the middle of anything unless it’s necessary; I'm not here to lead merely here to keep her and her magic in control.” Avar addresses the group trying to not look threatening.

“Is he joining us for Council?” Cassandra asks nods when Anaan shakes her head no.

“Let me know if there is anything you need Avar, I will be happy to assist.” Josephine offers smiles slightly at Avar.

“I need to get to the undercroft; I have need of a dwarf named Dagna.” Avar admitted was pleased when Josephine motions Varric to show Avar where the UnderCroft is.

“Do you trust him?” Cullen asks gauging Anaan's reaction to the question.

“Yes. Vivienne gave me a lot to think about, Avar and Bull did as well. Avar has agreed to the path, we will see if we can walk it together.” Anaan finally answers.

“Decided to take control of your own destiny huh?” Cullen chuckles at that. “We are here to support you, advise you not lead you. We can do this.”

“In the meantime Fallow Mire is free of Undead, Malificar and managed to get an alliance of sorts with the Avaar.” Anaan sighs at this.

“What of you and Bull, he has removed his things from your quarters, is not with you now.” Josephine is curious how to spin this latest development.

“My own path, cannot involve my heart, Kadan. He accepts, you will as well.” Anaan braces her hand against the fireplace takes a deep cleansing breath.

“You seem relaxed, more in control.” Leliana finally says is shocked when Anaan nods.

“Ball?” Anaan asks sees the smile that forms on Josephine's lips.

“We will start the prep tomorrow beginning with the dressmaker. Who are you taking with you?” Josephine asks.

“Whoever you think needs to go plus Avar and Bull.” Josephine nods.

“Plans for the rest of the day?” Cullen asks curious.

“Rest.” Anaan says walks out heads to the Tavern accepts the tankards Cabbott hands her heads up the stairs to find a seat on the second floor sees Sera and sits next to the elf.

“You go off without me and come back with another cranky horned one.” Sera complains taking one of the tankards from Anaan takes a swig only coughs mildly at the spiced wine. “This one going to bind you up too?”

“Yes, not public.” Anaan regards the elf.

“Good, that was scary. You're well you and you just allowed him to in public no less it wasn't okay lots of people upset by it.” Sera shakes her head no takes another swig of the brew. Anaan doesn't say anything to that doesn't know what to say to it finishes her tankard in peace as Sera doesn't bug her with endless questions knows she won't answer.

“Ah, thought I might find you in the company of the troublemaker.” Solas approaches carefully offer another tankard to both women his skill with the tray admirable.

“Need?” Anaan asks drinking the second tankard.

“How is the mark? Any issues with it?” Solas asks waits for Anaan to offer the hand to him skillfully examining it waits for any reaction doesn't get any other than the thinning of the lips the flair of the eyes to tell him what makes her uncomfortable. “It is stable; let me know if you need anything.”

“Injuries.” Anaan says it quietly.

“Come by the study when you want them checked, I will show you the mural I have expanded it.” Solas nods leaves them when his drink is finished points up the stairs as someone asks for her.

“Drinking without me? I am appalled!” Avar joins them nods his head to Sera.

“Sera Avar. Sera archer, she is very good.” Avar nods to the elf soon has her relaxed as he asks questions about her they are joined by Varric and soon Dorian.

“Inquisitor, I think you might be drunk.” Dorian acknowledges toasts her with another tankard smiles lecherously at Avar who winks at him.

“Anytime Dorian, just let me know when and where and I will happily conquer you.” Dorian sits up a bit at that. “I retract that for the night though, I need to get her to bed.” Avar gently scoops an arm under Anaan stumbles with her out of the Tavern across to the keep.

“Keep her close tonight; first night back to the castle is always bad.” Bull grabs Anaan's other elbow helps steer her in the right direction.

“Did Arvaarad offer to train you while he was here?” Bull doesn't answer merely keeps walking.

“Carried, chose, not accept, lost.” Anaan says the words carefully rub her face against Bull watches as he keeps her away from him.

“He sterilized her while she was carrying?” Avar has gotten her to her chambers watches Bull as the man systematically strips Anaan his long familiarity with her body evident.

“I didn't know.” Anaan says sleepily accepts the water Bull pushes on her reaches to take his harness off stops himself sighs.

“Tell me the rest another night, I need this information and she is.” Avar waves a hand.

“She'll give you the info she cares to Avar, earn her trust.” Bull waves the man off and leaves. Avar leaves to his room pulls armor off puts it on the stand heads back into the bedroom sees Anaan sleeping slides into the bed next to her lifting his arm as she snuggles to him goes back to sleep.

Anaan and Avar present themselves for Solas’ inspection Anaan sits on the table lays down waits as Solas locks the door approaches carefully knows Anaan doesn’t trust him but needs him. Avar stands next to her on the other side of the table out of Solas’s way but close enough to help Anaan if necessary. “I’ll check the chest wound first, I know you cauterized it but we still need to make sure it didn’t do more damage than we thought.” Solas carefully lifts Anaan’s tunic sees her runes seem to crawl and shift as she breathes gently traces a finger over the wound his other hand glowing blue to see if there is any problem. “It’s healed well not too much scar tissue you did it properly well done.” Solas looks to Avar waits as Anaan slows her breathing waits for the calm to reach her skin as he eases her waist band down to look at the runes and the scarring there. “Easy Inquisitor, almost done.”

Solas traces the lines noticing the flinch with every one lets his hands glow sees the green tinge the orange overlay. “It is still slow to heal, you pushed yourself too fast but it will heal. Arvaarad did good work on the runes but they are keeping you from healing as quickly.”

Avar traces a finger over the scars. “He was careful with your runes, should you want to carry he did not prevent it.” Stroking Anaan’s face he helps her sit up puts a hand on her back in support as she arranges her clothes.

“Will you need to put more runes on her?” Solas is curious as he makes notes in a folder places it back in his desk.

“No, it’s not recommended to ink more unless you have to undue pain and stress for both Arvaarad and Sarebaas.”


	10. -Temptation-

“Anaan, I am unsure of Qunari formal fashions any help you can give us would be great.” Josephine is standing with the rest of the ladies as they wade through fabrics picking different ones out. Anaan's bedroom looks like the closet of a theater troop. 

“None.” Anaan shakes her head no hears Josephine’s sigh as she yells for Bull.

“Ambassador?” Bull looks from Josephine to Anaan and then to the fabrics. “Ah, she wouldn’t have been allowed to any of the festivals not even taught the dances.” Bull walks over to the fabrics indicates for Anaan to follow him skips the greens, yellows and reds grabs a navy silk with stars stitched in it. “This.” Bull hands it to Josephine who nods agreement. “Anaan can you do the formal folding with this?” Anaan feels the material nods Josephine hands the fabric over to Anaan watches as she quickly folds and drapes the material over her Myra stepping forward to adjust lets the skirt fall seeing it fall to just past her thighs in the front seeing it almost trail at the back. Myra walks over to another table with belts pulls a silver one over frowns grabs a silver scarf making a skirt of it then places the belt on. 

“The ends of the fabric need to be finished but this will work.” Dressmaker nods at the effect. Anaan can smell Bull’s arousal watches as he clenches his fists takes slow even breaths as Anaan takes it off knows there will be a lot of skin showing when the dress is on.

“Inquisitor that is a lot of your skin showing, are you sure you want to do that?” Cassandra is seeing the same thing Bull is.

“Yes I will be fine.” Anaan smiles.

“Leliana, do you need me or can I head Anaan down to the dance instructor?” Josephine is making notes on her clipboard nods as Leliana waves her off. “With me Inquisitor, bring Avar with you if you like.” Anaan nods catches Avar's gaze as he chats with Varric both of them headed with her to the dance hall.

“Welcome to my domain Inquisitor, I am Ranaul and I will be your instructor in dance.” Ranaul is a human, tall with graying hair and a lithe build. “My but you are tall, no matter you will do well with most of the Orlesian dances as they do not require many face to face holds.” Ranaul watches Anaan move requests the music play. “Dance for me Inquisitor let us see what I am working with.”

Anaan shakes her head no. “Sarebaas do not dance to this.”

“If I may?” Avar walks to one of the drums takes the two sticks with it and starts a beat. Anaan smiles dashes behind a screen to adjust her top to give her more freedom. It is covering her breasts and that is about it. Anaan is already wearing a skirt for the day slit up to her hips graceful glimpses of her legs possible as she steps. As she steps out Anaan steps with the drum her steps slow and sensual as she watches Avar watch her.

Bull hears the drums and his pulse is already answering it. Walking into the hall with Solas, Dorian and Blackwell he's not ready to see Anaan dancing. The extra fabric from her top she has used as sleeves dancing with it the material flaring out as she moves her arms separate from her body her hips swaying glimpses of her legs as they flash under the skirt possible. She is doing the choosing dance from the homecoming festival. It is a primal beat she dances to his body answering automatically watches as she sees him continues the steps of the dance. It’s the play of the lights over the silver ink; it’s the sheen of sweat as she dances her body stepping lithely from one movement to another as Avar drums.

“Anaan.” Bull purrs watches her hips as she dances her fingers dancing as if she has the ribbons attached wonders how she learned the songs. Doesn't care as he just wants to own her, claim her with the dance. Anaan dances closer to Bull snakes her upper body to draw him closer places hands on hips to turn all the way around her hips moving in a slow circle runs her hands up her body waves her arms as her hips twist the other drummers having already picked up the beat to make the entire room vibrate with the sound. Bull waits as she comes to him placing a hand on her mark dances around him a trace here a finger there smiles as she finishes the dance around him moves away from him finishes the dance with a show of her hands on her hips her one foot in front of the other breathing heavy as Avar stops. “How did you know the steps?” Bull asks shaking his head to clear it sees Blackwell and Cullen doing the same smells the arousal from Leliana glances at the red head turns back to Anaan.

“We learned by watching. Female Sarebaas dance with chains lots of fun.” Anaan steps to Avar and puts her forehead on his in thank you.

“Well you can certainly move, Bull can you partner her through the Orlesian Royeaux dance?” Bull shakes his head no has to make himself turn and walk out of the hall. “All right Leliana let's show our Inquisitor what we are aiming for.” Leliana steps to Ranaul the pair moving as one through the dance Anaan nodding when she has it sees Bull has come back in claims her for the dance stepping her through it bowing at the end of it and Anaan does too causing them to headbutt each other.

“Ah Inquisitor you are supposed to curtsy like so.” Leliana demonstrates as Anaan rubs her head shakes it to clear the stars. Anaan tries the curtsy manages it finally.

“We are going to end on that note well done Inquisitor.” Ranaul bows to her Anaan remembers to curtsy again spins to leave decides to watch the others get instructed instead.

“That was beautiful Anaan, can you teach me how to do that?” Leliana asks smiling as Cullen and Josephine step through the dance.

“Yes. I can teach you the fertility one for Cullen.” Anaan says it so deadpan it takes Leliana a moment to realize what is said looks at Anaan in shock. “You cannot hide it.” Anaan indicates her nose regards Leliana.

“Yes, tonight after dinner.” Leliana smiles and takes a stack of notes from the scout that just appeared at her elbow.

“Not be there for that.” Anaan tells Avar who nods.

“Would not be wise for me to be there you are correct. I will play cards with Varric tonight, maybe Bull.” Avar tilts his head at the mention of Bull and Anaan nods. “Rest Anaan, I will check on you later.” Anaan nods heads up to her room wants a bath to wash off the sweat.

Bull is in her room sitting on her bed watches her as she crosses to him takes a sniff regards him quietly. “You need?” Bull snags her pulls her onto his lap is kissing her deeply she's teased him into a pillar of need answers with her own needs straddling him his hands cupping her ass pulling her closer to him moaning as she moves rubbing against him. He is kissing her deeply wants to bury himself in her lays her back on the bed tracing teeth from neck to breasts laving a tongue on each as his fingers rub causing Anaan to arch into his hand she needs this. As his mouth travels lower Anaan is kneading at his shoulders keeps her hands away from his horns. When he gets to her waistband pulling the skirt down to reveal the runes he stops cold. Placing his forehead on her abdomen Bull stays there, Anaan holds his head trying to comfort him knows she can't. Gently, carefully Bull kisses each of the runes gets up and walks out leaving Anaan just sitting in the bed not sure what to do. When its obvious Bull isn't coming back Anaan heads to the bath then to the balcony to meditate.

“Anaan? Anaan wake up. You are freezing, why are you out here?” Bull has scooped her up placed her in the bed is wrapping her up in a blanket.

“I was meditating, trying to find peace.” Bull shakes his head at her pours her water waits as she heats it and then holds it as she sips it.

“I don't think you can find peace in the Qun by sleeping.” Bull smiles wryly at her hooks her hair behind her ear. “Either way you didn't come down for dinner so I thought I might check on you when Avar headed to the Tavern with Varric and Dorian.”

“I am giving Leliana dance lessons. Fertility.” Bull stiffens at that. “Not safe for Avar, sent him elsewhere.” Bull snorts and lets Leliana in at the knock on the door.

“Inquisitor do I need to come back?”

Anaan shakes her head no watches Bull. “Go Bull, not safe.” Bull leaves the door not quite slamming on the way.

“Still having issues I see. Anyone who sees you can see you love each other.” Leliana is dressed in a loose gown and Anaan smiles at the sight.

“Off dress, I will give you one.” Anaan heads to her closet comes out with three scarves watches as Leliana takes off the gown admires the bard's long and lean frame the lack of scars despite knowing she fights gives her more respect for the woman. Wrapping the first one about Leliana's torso she smiles at the way Leliana looks knows Cullen would approve.

“I had no idea the Inquisitor was so finely muscled.” Blackwell admits toasting Bull and earning a glower from Cullen. “Commander you can glower all you like but we both know you appreciated the light play over those abs as much as I did.”

“Careful Blackwell, though I do not share her bed you are dangerously close to slandering her not something I would want to be accused of in present company.” Commander tips his eyes to Bull and Avar both of whom are listening to Varric.

“She'd not take any but a Qunari to her bed Commander, heard her say as much to the Avaar chieftain when he offered to make her a concubine.” Blackwell tips the drink back watches Cullen as the man nurses his drink.

“Anything you need help with Commander? You seem more troubled than normal?” Blackwell snags one of the Tavern wenches smiles when the blonde tugs on his beard before pressing a sloppy kiss to him moaning when she runs a hand down his shirt.

“Not at the moment, certainly not enough to part you from your conquest.” Cullen moves to join Bull and Avar hearing part of the tale Varric is telling about Hawke and a dragon at the bone pit.

“Need music.” Anaan frowns thinks for a moment has Leliana waits. Heading out the door she heads to the Tavern who had drums who could hold a beat and be willing to do it for this kind of thing? Hoping to find Ranaul Anaan looks for the man realizes nearly every eye is on her looks down to realize she is still showing most of her abs, all of her shoulders and arms her movements giving glimpses of legs beneath the skirt while most in the Tavern are wearing heavy cloaks and warm boots.

“Inquisitor? How may I help you?” Cabbott waits for her to look at him.

“I need a drummer.” Anaan finally says looking at the crowd again.

“Krem can and he owns a drum.” Anaan frowns at Cabbott when he calls Krem a man since Anaan knows Krem is a female remembers she prefers to act as a man. Anaan nods when Cabbott shows her where Krem is.

“Krem.” Krem is looking at Anaan as if he is in shock he had no idea Anaan even knew who he was much less how to say his name.

“Inquisitor how can I help?” Krem looks up at her from his spot sitting where he can see all the entrances and keep an eye on Bull.

“You drum yes?” When Krem nods Anaan continues, “Bring drum follow me.” Krem disappears upstairs comes back shortly with a drum and follows Anaan back to the keep and up the stairs to her bedroom.

“Uh Inquisitor?” Krem is a little nervous at the door doesn't walk in though does when Anaan frowns at him.

“Leliana, drummer.” Anaan announces smiles when she sees Leliana wrapped up in the blanket shivering on the bed.

Anaan waves a hand makes the fire leap a bit puts more logs on and closes the doors to the balcony. “Maker how can you stand to not wear anything?”

“Cold on runes feels good.” Anaan acknowledges indicates for Krem to get comfortable takes a moment to show Krem the beat she needs smiles as Krem does it. Anaan spends the next few hours showing Leliana the steps and the movement truly enjoys it actually laughs startling Leliana and Krem both.

“This was fun, we should do this again.” Leliana steps into the closet and gets dressed again.

Anaan nods, “We will continue tomorrow you are halfway done with dance.” Anaan looks to Krem sees him nod in agreement and they leave as Avar knocks on the door.

“Done ladies, Krem?” Avar asks is pleased there is no arousal present crosses to Anaan seeing her flushed and glowing and smiles. “You are happy, that is good.”

“I am. Had fun today, haven’t danced in a very long time.” Anaan strips using the wash basin to quickly rinse off stops as Avar grabs the rag and does it for her. Done she settles into bed Avar leaving her to do the same.

Bull needs release, wants it badly is positive he doesn’t want Anaan walks to the tavern scanning and finding one of the tavern girls. She is more than happy to follow him to his room pulls another of her friends on the way. Gerti is her name the friend is Tiffy, both have had Bull before back when Anaan and he weren’t together. He settles in for a night of pleasing two women.

Anaan sees the bracers on the desk as she gets up to get water, checking the moon she figures it isn’t that late wants to give the gift to Bull and pulls on clothes. “Anaan?” Avar calls and comes out of his room his hair a slight mess and his pants low. Anaan shakes her head as she follows the line of the pants shows him the bracers and walks out. When she gets to the Tavern she sees the Chargers all in various forms of drink along with Dorian and Sera who is helping Bard Marian sing a song loudly at the top of her lungs and on top of a table. Krem doesn’t see Anaan until she is already up the stairs groans knowing whatever is going on between the two will not survive Anaan finding him with two human women. Anaan hears the noise doesn’t manage to hide the intake of breath or deny the twist of the knife in her heart at it. She doesn’t remember dropping the bracers, doesn’t remember getting back to her chambers or snarling at Avar to leave her be as she heads to the balcony to meditate the bite of the cold air freezing the tears on her face. They are done, she had told him so he had told her so but this hurts she knew he was with humans bas to sate his need when she was there and had offered. He has chosen the human women over her and that is the knife that is so hard to get out of her heart.

Bull picks the bracers up in the morning, not sure where they came from as he heads into the castle. “Ah, Anaan finally gave you the bracers then?” Blackwell asks admiring them.

“Shit.” Bull admits heads to Anaan’s room knocks quietly.

“Ah, here to thank her or try and get out of the shit house?” Avar asks opening the door.

“She told you?” Bull is surprised sees Avar’s eyebrow raise and shakes his head no.

“She went to give you those, came back and has been meditating ever since. However the passages of the Qun she is reciting are interesting.” Avar opens the door farther allows Bull in and waits as Anaan recites the passages.

“Mastery of the self is mastery of the world. Loss of the self is the source of suffering. Suffering is a choice, and we can refuse it. It is in our power to create the world or destroy it. He is free to bed whomever he wants; that he chooses humans is a choice I must respect. He has made his choice and I have made mine.” Anaan repeats it over and over not realizing she has an audience.

“Anaan.” Bull walks to her watches as she looks at him and then Avar.

“You brought him here?” Anaan flushes with magic at being caught saying what she is.

“I did not.” Avar shakes his head retreats to the bedroom.

“Do you like the bracers they were made with the dragonhide I thought you might like them. Blackwell helped me pick out the buckles and the tanning. They should be good protection against fire, ice and lightning.” Anaan is babbling which takes Bull by surprise.

“I do, I thank you very much. Interesting passage of the Qun, we good or do you need to add more to the end of it like I will kill the human women he slept with if they touch him again?”

Anaan looks away from him; this is the part she is not good at. “You chose them over me.”

“I did and I will continue to. You want to live by the Qun, I have chosen to not live by the Qun, that was a choice I made.”

“I accepted my place as Tal-Vashoth, I have not put on the chains. I am trying for you Bull, I want.” Anaan shuts her mouth shakes her head and takes a deep breath. “I am glad you like the bracers, Ranaul is waiting for us.” Anaan leaves a stunned Bull standing on the balcony as she moves past him strips off the wrap from the night before doing a quick wash with a rag before putting on a fresh shirt. Bull watches as the water slides over her, watches as she quickly puts the shirt on realizes she is in the same style as before with barely any of her covered recites passages of his own to keep from being aroused.

“Not going to flavor yours with embellishments yet huh?” Avar snorts hearing Bull.

“We are in for a morning of her in that much clothing dancing, sure you don’t want to recite some passages as well?” Bull follows Anaan down the steps sees Blackwell’s choke of drink when Anaan passes him pats the man on the back.

“Nope I am good now put Dorian in that little of clothing and have him dance and I might be in trouble.” Avar smiles at Bull’s surprise.

Ranaul is an exacting task master as he puts them all through the paces of the dances keeps Anaan dancing with all of the men releasing her to Leliana or Josephine who quiz her on politics and people. When she speaks to Cullen it looks like she is doing well however if she speaks to Josephine or Leliana she fails utterly reverting back to one word answers or none at all. “I don’t understand how you can speak to Cullen at length and are silent with me.” Josephine is frustrated.

“Cullen easy, you difficult you want more he does not.” Anaan answers earning another exasperated sigh from Josephine who looks to Cullen.

“You keep fishing for information from her Ambassador, you want to lead her somewhere where as I just want to talk and am happy with the silences.” Cullen shrugs.

“I should not need an interpreter to understand someone speaking in Common!” Josephine sighs again.

“Ambassador, come dance with me and leave the conversations for a bit.” Blackwell offers his hand has been looking forward to holding her in his arms for hours. As the two step through the dances Anaan watches Leliana watch Cullen as a plan forms in her head.

“Inquisitor, do you mind showing me the steps to the dance you did yesterday? What was that?” Ranaul is watching Anaan carefully sees her debate the request looks to Bull.

“Why?” Anaan asks crossing her arms.

“It would be interesting to see you perform it at the Ball, If Celene agrees to it.” Josephine admits as she stands with Blackwell.

“Bull?” Anaan asks knowing it will him that will be affected by this along with the others will be him who has to go through the dance with her.

“No.” Avar knows he won’t be able to deal with that much arousal and control her. Anaan looks at him walks to him immediately placing her forehead against his as he grabs both of her arms taking a deep breath with her.

“Why not if I may ask?” Ranaul asks curious about the display.

“Dance she did yesterday was a choosing dance, it’s the dance Qunari use to pick a mate for the festival.” Bull admits is secretly pleased Anaan will not be doing it.

“Ah, that would not be wise to show that to the Orlesians.” Ranaul smiles at Anaan.

“I will show the celebration dance, it is innocent and would be easy for bas to try.” Anaan looks to Avar who nods as he heads to the drums watches as Bull watches her. This dance is easy, merely a four beat tempo executed in a circle the spiral swirling out as Anaan grabs Leilana knowing the bard will pick up the dance easily pulls Josephine up as well smiles as the women easily pick it up.

“Do the men dance?” Cullen asks Bull watching as the women get through the steps watches as Anaan teaches the arm movements as well.

“Yes but not the Antaam, this is usually to celebrate them coming home.” Avar stops the drums as Anaan bows finishing the dance.

“I cannot show you the male steps, I did not learn them nor would it be appropriate.” Anaan finally says as Ranaul claps.

“Understood it would be interesting to see how the ladies of the Game react to you doing that.” Ranaul admits shrugging.

“Not performing. Not I am missing the word.” Anaan sighs in frustration looks to Cullen.

“Not appropriate because they are not viddithari and therefore not worthy to learn it?” Cullen supplies and Anaan nods.

Anaan, Krem and Leilana work through the rest of the fertility dance in the coming weeks leading up to the dance Anaan tolerates more lessons on comportment but her nights are frustrating. She’s been doing the fertility dance with Leilana for this long and not gotten any release at the end of it, it’s exhausting. “Anaan, focus.” Avar can smell her arousal is not sure if it’s him that is causing it or not. When Anaan rubs against his chest as he sits behind her hands running lightly on his thighs he is gritting his teeth. “Anaan.” Avar stops her hands leans away from the breathy moan in his ear.

“You have been teaching Leliana the dance and not taking care of yourself. This is why Sarebaas are not supposed to learn it you aren’t supposed to be aroused by anything.” Avar stands up walks away from Anaan as she continues to try and tempt him.

“I need.” Anaan admits bites her lip in frustration trying to calm her mind.

“Katoh Anaan, not now not ever it is not allowed.” Avar stays away from her doesn’t even try to touch her now knows she’ll set them both off in a moment.

Anaan shakes her head walks past Avar taking the steps two at a time with Avar on her heels taking the second level entrance into the tavern entering Bull’s room without even knocking. Catching the scents of him with another human female Anaan casts lightning making the pillows explode chars the blanket as well heads down to the main level of the tavern and sees Bull along with one of the wenches on his knee. Anaan growls at the woman who retreats under her gaze looks to Bull who answers the growl with one of his own. “Now.” Anaan bares her teeth in challenge is crackling with magic.

“Control Anaan.” Avar is begging at this point doesn’t want to make her submit in front of this many people is running out of options quickly as Bull doesn’t look like he is going to move. Avar grabs Anaan’s arm pulls her out of the Tavern curses silently at the growing crowd that follow them out. Anaan concentrates for a moment sets a cloud over the top of Bull right before they are out of the Tavern causing some laughs and startled curses as the cloud dumps rain on Bull until he is out of the Tavern.

Anaan’s breath leaves her in a woosh her body hitting her with arousal at the sight of Bull soaked in rain arms crossed glaring at her. “Kadan.” Anaan begs walking towards him her hips swaying her eye contact perfect.

“Bull take her or someone will.” Blackwell comments causing Bull to glare at the man and knows Anaan is affecting anything male at this point wonders what could have her this taut, this aroused looks to Avar.

“Not me Bull, this is all for you. She’s been teaching Leliana the dance, not getting the release it’s been interesting to say the least.” Bull sees Avar is at the end of his patience with Anaan knows the man does not want cross that line with Anaan but neither does he.

Bull walks towards Anaan and shoves her away from him sending her flying backwards to land in a heap. “Not interested Inquisitor, you want to live by the Qun and that is not allowed. Live with the consequences.”

“Kadan.” Anaan says the one word that will make him turn around has gotten to her knees.

“You killed our child Anaan, made choices for the both of us, only want this when it suits your needs, only want me when you need something. I will not be used that way Inquisitor not now not ever. Leave me alone, I am done with your games.”

“You asked about the leather.” Anaan speaks softly. “My father used to read a story about how a dragon would save the princess. How he would keep her safe from everything I knew if I could smell the dragon hide I was safe. It was why I had the bracers made for you, you make me safe Kadan.” Anaan walks away from him her arousal doused. Avar doesn’t follow walks over to Bull instead.

“You really do amazing work.” Bull admits looks from Anaan’s retreating form to Avar.

“Yes I do but I am still no closer to settling her down, she is still very aroused, sexually frustrated and now emotionally vulnerable. Fix it!” Bull shakes his head no turns back to the tavern.

“Not my job Avar, your are the Arvaarad not me. She knows how to please herself, besides don’t you guys have training for that?” Bull turns back to Avar when the man hisses.

“Yes but if I do that she won’t ever be aroused again by anything I can break her Bull, but is that really want you want?” Avar waits for Bull’s answer.

“Not my decision, that is all Anaan and being the good little Qunari she is I am sure she’ll agree to it.” Bull walks away knows Avar is pissed at them both.

Anaan is on her bed when Avar gets there and he has to walk right back out his body is reacting too much to her heads back to Bull. “Bull.” Avar sees him outside attacking a training dummy. Bull sees him shakes his head and goes back to the dummy isn’t ready when Avar shoves him from the side. That shove devolves into a bare fisted fight that has Cullen coming down with the Inquisition soldiers.

Anaan is there though shoots both of the men with lightning sending them both flying backwards. “ENOUGH!” Anaan stands between them wraps them both in globes of energy. “You are both dishonoring the Qun, both poor examples of Qunari. Worse you are showing poor judgment to me. Explain.” When they both speak at once Anaan holds her hand up to stop them both. “Cullen, we will use your office.” Anaan releases the globe on both of the men slows her breathing when Avar walks to her places his forehead on hers cupping her face runs hands down her arms.

“I am sorry; I cannot stand what he is doing to you. You have not taken the chains, have done what he asked and he is still denying you. I will give you the release you need.” Anaan rubs her forehead against his gently steps back turns her back heads up to Cullen’s office Bull and Avar with her. Cullen dismisses the soldiers follows trying to stay out of the way. His office isn’t that large but with the crowd it has it looks tiny.

“What does he mean you haven’t accepted the chains?” Bull asks in Common wants Cullen’s opinion.

“Anaan and I decided we wouldn’t do the chains, we would work on her accepting the control without them. She has stated she will do whatever she can to get you back. That includes being more open about what is going on with her and what she went through.” Avar crosses his arms keeps Anaan close to him her body still calling to him. Runs fingers down her spine is happy when she leans into his touch her breath catching her body is aching.

“Anaan.” Bull questions.

“Kadan, I was wrong to choose for us. I do not regret it, but I will not do that again, it was a decision we should have come to agreement on together. I cannot be Qunari, I am Tal-Vashoth and all that means. I will do what I want including dancing.” Anaan’s eyes are bright her body is flush with want, need.

Bull shakes his head no doesn’t reach out for her. He’s not aroused by her at all, he sees her and it’s a fight to not rage at her. He hasn’t forgiven her, he can’t. “No, I can’t Anaan I do not want you. I can’t forgive you.” Bull walks towards her sees her eyes dilate, takes a long sniff adds in Qunlat, “I am not aroused Anaan, my body doesn’t accept you maybe one day but not here and not now.”

Anaan nods places a hand on Bull’s face doesn’t allow the tears to fall. “Then I embrace the Sarebaas training I will not accept any but you.” Bull puts a finger over her mouth.

“Don’t Anaan, let’s just take this a day at a time. When we are done with all of this maybe we will be in a better place, for the moment have Avar help you. I cannot Anaan, I would end up hurting you I am too angry.”

Anaan nods follows Avar out as he leads her back to her chambers his hands snaking out to touch here trace there. “This is not what you want.” Anaan admits traces hands over him as well.

“I am what you need me to be Anaan, you are my Sarebaas if that means this than I will accept it.” Teeth gently trace over her shoulder down to her breasts gently pull and push causing gasps and flushes of skin.

“This is what made you leave the Qun.” Anaan has a hand on his shoulder she wants Bull not Avar she wants her Kadan.

“Yes, she looked a lot like you. She was Vashoth born, met her when we were sent to destroy the village. I was injured she helped me back to health, my unit was gone by then and I chose to stay. We had two children boys. Tevinters came and raided the village while we were out hunting, killed them all. I have traveled since being Arvaarad to those who need it for as long as they need it. Yas needed the physical needed the comfort of it.” Avar has pulled her to the bed, laid down put her on his chest hands still tracing the runes.

“You lost them, still try to help.” Anaan smiles against his chest rubs against him but ends up sitting up walks to the balcony leaning on the door watching the moon dance across the sky. Avar walks to her puts a hand around her pulling her against his chest places a hand on her abdomen his other linking with hers pressing himself against her dipping his head to trace kisses on her ear and behind to her neck. Anaan tilts her head to give him better access places her free hand over his on her abdomen. “I want my Kadan.” She admits steps away from him out onto the balcony puts her hands on the railing knows Avar steps to her she turns tears running down her cheeks. “I wish.”

Avar stops her words shakes his head no. “Forward Anaan, never back.” Anaan nods walks to the bed and lies down. Avar leaves her alone, if she is not pushing this boundary he won’t.


	11. Tests of Pillars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really long and heavy chapter NSFW hang in there folks

Arriving at Verchiel Anaan and group are met by Duke Gaspard. Anaan inclines her head to the duke notices how the man nervously looks behind her at Avar. When Bull comes up Gaspard doesn’t back off but does size him up. Leliana had said this was the man that should have been the Emperor is the cousin of the current Empress Celene. This bas leads the armies and Anaan is not impressed yet. “Well met Inquisitor, I am glad you accepted my invitation. I hope after tonight you will see why I should be leading this empire and not my sister.”

“I value strength, control, honor, commitment those are values I hold above all others. You need to prove to me you have these in greater quantities than your cousin to get my approval. Prove to me you are worthy to lead this empire.” Anaan is in her armor it is a week before the Ball and they are no closer to stopping the attempt on Celene than when they found out about it.

“I lead an army of thousands; I have served with many of those men for years. I have committed my life to this empire; have been keeping Orlesia strong for most of my life. I cannot abide by Celene’s rule any longer. She squanders our resources, points us to pointless treaties these political games are useless.” Gaspard is very straight forward something Anaan appreciates.

“Words are pointless from bas, show me Duke show me.” Anaan smiles slightly.

“How?” Gaspard asks wonders if he is going to be doing political rambling again.

“Series of tests I would not waste either.” Anaan is running out of Common words wants to drop back to Qunlat but doesn’t.

Gaspard smiles, inclines his head to Anaan. “As you wish Inquisitor.”

Once they are away from the Duke in their own quarters Josephine looks at Anaan and smiles. “Well done Inquisitor, now exactly what feats do you have in mind?”

“Bull and Cullen will talk to the men, I want their opinion. Leliana can tell me his battle history, Vivienne and Josephine will tell me his mind.” Anaan nods at this likes this plan.

“I can do that boss, but they may not be keen on talking to a Qunari.” Bull is lounging in a chair which is groaning under his weight.

“I can also see what the tavern talk is of the great Duke.” Varric offers which allows Anaan to nod.

“Bull, use training. Is he worth it?” Anaan asks rubs her horn distractedly shifts from one foot to the other.

“We will find out Inquisitor what is the deadline for this?” Cassandra asks watches Cullen as he watches Leiliana sees the bard flush when she sees his eyes on her.

“Day before we leave for the ball is enough time, Sera will give us her info when we get there.” Anaan shifts again causing Avar to place a hand on her back to rub absently knows the knots there. “I will retire.” Anaan leaves with Avar behind her to their room both are surprised when Bull shows up.

“What is wrong Anaan? You are as taut as a bowstring and moody which is not like you add in the freestyle with Gaspard and you have me intrigued.” Bull walks towards her catches her arousal as she automatically goes into his arms seeking comfort cups her face so she can catch the scent of the bracers sees the tension drain with that. Anaan is one of the most sensual woman he’s ever met hers a land of touch and smell.

“I do not want to play these games, I feel a trap and think this is a waste of time.” Anaan admits places hands on Bull’s chest tracing the harness leather enjoys the fact he lets her touch him.

“So you want more information about the man besides what you got in the reports. Makes sense but why are you not doing some of this recon yourself?” Bull drops his hand and steps back from her when she wants to get closer to him.

“I can’t understand them.” Anaan admits shakes her head at Bull walks towards the bench by the bed and sits down.

“Their accents throw you off?” Bull asks and Anaan nods looks to Avar who crosses and sits next to her.

“Then we can work on that as well, you understand Leilana and Ranaul both who have Orlesian accents but you can’t understand Gaspard very well and forget about the regular soldiers. I’ll see what I can find out.” Bull leaves allowing Anaan to relax more her body trying to settle down after seeing him.

Avar places Anaan on the bed is pleased it is a huge four poster monstrosity gets the ropes and cuffs out proceeds to secure Anaan’s arms. He’s been working on her right leg trying to get the muscles to relax a bit to give her a more even gait but the process is slow and painful. It is a pull and rub as he stretches her leg works with the muscles watches her body's reaction hears the knock knows its Bull and lets him in. Bull takes in the bed, Avar's clothing and Anaan turns to walk back out. “I can come back.”

“It's not what you think Bull, I am working on her legs trying to get a more even gait and get rid of the pain when the weather is warmer. Talk to her if you want, it'll keep her distracted.” Avar returns to the bed grabs Anaan's leg pulls her towards him gently starts on the foot smiles as she tries to yank it back. “You are ticklish on your toes figures.”

Bull watches as Anaan smiles at Avar does a lazy kick at him watches as the man manipulates her foot long fingers working into the muscles having her gasp and arch away from him. “He's well respected by the men Anaan, he pays his mercenaries decently and manages to socialize with the normal soldiers not just the officers. Seems they would follow him into whatever needs to be done. You have such a beautiful smile.” Bull traces a finger down her face when she turns her smile on him watches as her body flushes with need wishes his would respond.

“None of that Bull, she's a powder keg already I do not need the extra stimulus. Please tell me you did not tie or restrain her during sex. If you did I need to know, not judging just makes my job harder when we work on control.” Avar catches Anaan's look when he says that groans and shakes his head.

“Only once, there was a blindfold it was...educational.” Anaan admits breath catching with the memory.

“Ah, interesting tactic Anaan I've never met a Sarebaas so sensual as you. You latch onto touch, taste, feel like others do memories can relive with clarity with a sniff or taste. Your first Arvaarad did he bind you completely when he first got you?” Avar has stopped massaging releases her hands watches as she reaches for Bull sees him move away from her with a shake of his head.

“Yes, bound with rope thick and itchy smells of the sea to remind us we are the tide. Blindfolded full hood burlap soaked in blood to remind us we are dangerous metallic tang lips already sewn so cannot speak must trust Arvaarad. Runes freshly done, the burn we aren't recovered yet must time it so the runes are scabbing will tend them to earn trust, wet cloth smells of embrium and sandalwood heals and comfort. Second Arvaarad wore dragon hide boots, he would use them as punishment on fingers but also comfort. His smelled burned, Kadan's are comfort, home and safe.” Anaan opens her eyes regards both men. “I gave your bracers because you always reach for me, your hands never hurt only pleasure until you pushed me.” Anaan frowns at this looks at Bull. “Now it's mixed messages from your hands, sometimes you comfort and sometimes you hurt I am confused.”

“Why is it the training of Sarebaas is so different one Arvaarad to another?” Bull asks looking at Avar ignoring Anaan's question.

“Is each wave of the ocean the same? Each wave is pushed and pulled by something different and so is each Sarebaas you use what works. We all get the same basic training we can do things with rope and pain that would make most of your reeducation tactics seem tame. But at the end of the day they have to trust us, they have to be willing to kill and die for us and that takes time, patience and tweaking of whatever tactics we can use to get what we need from them.” Avar crooks a finger is pleased when Anaan crawls over the bed to him traces fingertips down his chest before getting off the bed.

“First was center of Qun, I was maraas without him nothing felt or tasted the same unless he was the giver of it. Second one was pain, as much pain as the other was not. Avar is different, more open more adaptable closer to first but not same. Kadan I need please.” Anaan walks to him waits as Bull debates it looks to Avar as well when the men regard each other.

“Pain Anaan, pain and anger is all I have for you it is not safe for me to do anything with you right now. I truly fear I would hurt you.” Anaan crosses her arms and regards Bull his admission is bringing out her anger as well.

“Anger? You wanted to make a choice for me, you wanted me to take the field pregnant. You wanted me to throw everything I knew and embrace something I cannot. You are turning into them, you want something from me as well. You accuse me of using you, of playing games with you when you do the same!” Anaan bares her teeth in challenge realizes her magic is snapping takes a steadying breath to calm down. “You were my KADAN! I who am Sarebaas, I who was told to fear you needed you to help me and you denied me. I needed my Kadan.” Anaan is trying to find her center, her control looks to Avar who is to her hand on the back of her neck her hands clenched in tight fists on her side.

“Don't you dare put this on me.” Bull's tone and volume matches Anaan who is speaking barely above a whisper.

“You tell me to choose, to do what I want and then punish me when I do. I cannot win with you and I am tired of the game.” Anaan drops to her knees in perfect submission. “Give your report to Commander Cullen please The Iron Bull the Inquisition appreciates your service.” Anaan has dropped into her formal tone causing Bull to step back closes his eye willing patience, forgiveness, something to get him through this moment. He knows if he walks out that door he will not be welcomed back and he knows that for all he cannot forgive her right now that would be a mistake he couldn't recover from.

Bull pulls her up, keeps his hand still as she sniffs the bracers feels her flush from head to toe pulls her close places his nose in her hair sniffs the scents of magic, embrium and honey all that Anaan is to him holds her close and keeps her hands held in one of his. “Time Anaan, I need time but I promise to try. Next time you decide to exercise free will could you do it on something less life changing like I want you to wear purple and you want to wear green?” Bull feels her snort at that kisses her gently, he needs to extract himself from her and get out before she realizes he's nowhere near ready for this commitment that he's nowhere near ready to forgive her. Tipping her face up to his with a finger he kisses her deeply, now to earn the title of Hissrad and she opens to him hers an automatic acceptance she struggles against his hold on her wrists and he releases her steps away from her walks out the door.

Avar watches Anaan, curious if she will see the deception knows she won't because she doesn't want to. She wants to believe they are making progress in the right direction of getting back together and for her sanity and control he needs to let it happen. “Bed?” Avar offers knows Anaan will accept and waits for her to fall asleep. His job is control, control of her and magic it is a mantra he chants over and over.

“I would show strength to the Inquisitor first.” Gaspard has finished eating pushes away from the table as Anaan regards him.

“How would you do that?” Anaan asks curious how this bas will prove himself to her in the short time he has.

“I will challenge whomever you choose to a duel, first blood looses.” Gaspard smiles at this eyes either of the Qunari behind her even as Anaan leans back in her chair regards the man in front of her. His armor is fancy, swirls and fliegere is all over the armor and it is polished to blinding. Cassandra's words come back to her from earlier in the morning about Gaspard would do this that he would think she would put one of the Qunari against him but that must not happen.

“Commander Cullen will meet you in battle.” Anaan inclines her head to the Commander who smiles slightly at this, it is not a slight to either's honor both being Generals both being men whose lives and others depend on their blades. Gaspard is surprised by the appointment obviously wanted to meet one of the Qunari on the field but that is an honor never given to bas, Qunari do not duel theirs spar or full blown battle never for fanfare and certainly never for coin.

“1 sovereign on the Commander Varric.” Avar holds the coin out to Varric who takes it quickly jotting down the bet looks to see if Anaan or any others will match. Anaan is looking at Avar like he has lost his mind. “Don't look at me like that Inquisitor, no reason I can't win a little coin on the blade of our great Commander.”

“It is not done!” Anaan hisses in contempt shakes her head with a small smile when Avar winks at her.

“So she does know how to smile wonders will never cease.” Varric remarks watches as Leliana walks closer to Anaan for a better seat at the balcony. As it is a display of force they are inside the Duke's home in a ballroom the ladies dressed as if to go to a fine ball and the men boasting of their own battle prowess.

Gaspard meets Cullen in the middle of the room his shield with the lion emblem out to meet Gaspard's two beasts on his shield with a color blocking of yellow and blue the colors of his house. Cullen pulls his helmet's visor down giving him the look of a lion and Anaan links hands with Leliana knowing the bard's fear even as she flushes with it. For all this is a duel either man could go for real blood and both are critical their respective factions. Anaan takes a moment to watch Cullen, all graceful lines and the prowling of a dangerous predator she'd seen him fight before but usually it was on a busy battlefield not like this alone his focus complete on the man in front of him. Gaspard is bulkier than Cullen but his lithe grace and ease in his armor admirable. It is a tentative touch of shields that start the fight Gaspard's gold mask is plain but hides his face as the two execute thrusts and parries across the floor. Anaan does not need to really watch the battle as the crowd gasps and claps in turn Gaspard is an accomplished swordsman and being a Chevalier has fantastic form his a test of blades. Luck is on Gaspard's side however when he catches Cullen on the elbow joint the blade coming away with blood as it bites. Cullen inclines his head in defeat pulling his visor off and offering a bow to Gaspard who inclines his head as well. “Well done Duke, you have shown your strength and control.” Anaan inclines her head waits as Gaspard makes his way to her.

“Your Ambassador has already managed a party to celebrate the duel may I claim a dance from you Inquisitor?” Anaan nods her head pleased her voice doesn't need to be used here. “Let us retire for a couple of hours and I will see you at the party.” Gaspard reaches up as he bows and Anaan freezes for half a second before offering the man her hand to kiss then he is gone and Anaan is retiring to her quarters to be fussed over.

“What did I agree to?” Anaan asks Leliana as she folds a gown into the formal style it is not her navy one this one is lavender as a homage to the flowers popping up all over the place.

“A dance, you agreed to a dance are you still having issues with the accents?” Leliana asks and Anaan nods. “Well I will try and stay close to you for tonight there is a cadence to Orlesian speech once you understand the cadence you can usually understand it.”

“Cadence? What does that mean?” Anaan finishes the dress and is still as Leliana brushes her hair out braids and pins it.

“She means a beat a pattern Inquisitor you just need to listen for that and the words will come much more easily.” Vivienne is there finishing her jewelry offers some bangles to Anaan who shakes her head no.

“Anaan, you ready?” Avar asks meets her gaze in the mirror sees her do a quick inventory of him. He's pulled his hair half back into a ponytail he is still bare chested with leather pants on his feet are in boots which is more than Anaan who is barefooted with an anklet on that has bells on it so she jingles slightly with each step. Her skirt is a straight hem that is slit on the sides and she's folded the top to be almost full back she's actually pretty covered and Leliana is thankful for that.

“How is Cullen? Does he need healing?” Anaan asks as they walk down is silent when she does see Cullen resplendent in the Inquisition officer uniform.

“Speechless huh? I'll take it. You look fantastic yourself Inquisitor.” Cullen is on a step above her it actually makes them the same height as he looks into her eyes. He's rendered speechless though when Leliana makes her way down the stairs her dress a light blue to set off her eyes and hair.

“Tonight Leliana, tonight you will dance for Cullen.” Anaan whispered causing Leliana to eye Anaan speculatively. “You know the steps, you have teased him long enough time to make good on the promise. Better here than SkyHold with its secrets and demands.” Leliana nods knows Anaan is correct.

Gaspard steps Anaan through a dance, then steps Leliana through a dance and Anaan watches Cullen sees how he wants her. “Commander, if you see something you want you should take it.” Anaan whispers knows Cullen won't turn back to her as Leliana steps through the dance. “I cannot Inquisitor, it would not be appropriate.”

“Cullen, she has wanted you for months you both need this you both want this.” Anaan catches Bull's eye sees the soldier walk up to Bull watches as he moves off to discuss something.

“Maybe you are right.” Cullen nods as the dance ends claims Leliana for the next.

Leliana slips into Cullen's room waits as Cullen gets up from his chair in front of the fire walks towards her kisses her deeply then its a rush to get the clothes off of each other though Cullen is patient as he undresses Leliana, nimble fingers trace and lips trail until Leliana is harsh in her breathing even as Cullen backs her to the bed lips tracing down as her fingers dance over him. “Bade me no and I will stop.” Cullen traces with fingers once the clothes are off its a slow dance to know each other and enjoy what fingers and mouths can do to each other in the dark.

“Same to you lion same to you.” Leliana whispers as her mouth closes on his length eliciting a moan from him as he tries to keep his hips still.

“Anaan what did you do?” Avar asks as she gets ready for bed that night.

“Pushed Cullen into Leliana, they need it.” Anaan offers pulls a shirt over her head stretches her neck as pain radiates from looking down for most of the night.

“Oh? Do you think that was a good idea?” Avar sits behind her fingers work on the knot in her neck earns a sigh feels her skin flush when his breath hits her neck closes her eyes has a thought of Avar running that hand across her breasts skin pebbling in the night air as it caresses feels him move his hands lower to her stomach his lips now tracing where his breath was leans back to be against his chest running a hand across his thigh nails lightly digging in as she traces a hand up into his hair finds the ridge where his horn comes out to rub causing him to tighten fingers against her ribs his other hand slipping between her legs tracing so gently to see how wet she is as he keeps kissing up and down her neck turns her head slightly to meet his lips on the next pass her hand tangling in his hair as she pulls him closer shifts to capture those lips that have whispered over her moans low as he cradles her pushing her back into the bed following not parting from her lips.

Anaan shakes her head at the fantasy and moves away from him as Avar lets his hands fall off her shoulders looking at her curious before smelling what is going on snorts and gets off the bed going to her and kissing her hard. One hand keeps her there other hooks grabs her ass to keep her close to him walks her back to the bed pushes her down following fingers tracing pulling at pants until he is deep and she is flushed arching with him as release finds her over and over his a purr into her shoulder. “Anaan.” Avar has her wrapped around him tracing runes as they both recover. When he would get up to clean up she is kissing him again hers a pent up necessity of weeks of denial he is more than capable of dealing with. Sated she sleeps though when she reaches for him he answers ever ready for her both are ready to really sleep when the sun finally makes an appearance but they are denied with a knock on the door by Josephine reminding them they are riding out in two hours.

“Astaar Anaan, wake up we need to get going.” Avar tries and fails to get out from under Anaan as she wraps tighter against him mumbling about needing sleep and let the human things ride out. “Anaan, up now.” Avar does get up runs the bath frowning at the small tub and when she does not wake up picking her up and dropping her in it.

“Avar!” Anaan comes up sputtering glares at him before smiling slightly and starting getting clean. She bathes quickly stops when she realizes she is bleeding. “Avar...” He is to her immediately looks at the water goes and throws the covers off the bed there is blood in various spots everywhere.

“Anaan, are you in pain? How did I injure you I did not use claws or teeth.” Avar is to her again sees the runes places his head on the rim of the tub. “You were not completely healed, I should not have.”

“No pain, it is fine I feel better than I have in weeks thank you for that I know it was not what you wanted.” Anaan places her forehead on his.

“I am Arvaarad, I am whatever you need me to be Anaan you are my Sarebaas.” Avar admits sighs for a moment. “We need Vivienne to check you to make sure you are not truly injured unless you can?” Anaan shakes her head no finished bathing doesn't dress as Avar bathes then leaves and brings back Vivienne. “I need you to check her, she's bleeding.”

Vivienne waves a hand over Anaan frowns at the orange and red tinge on her abdomen. “You were orange and green last time Solas checked you, what did you do to incur injury?” Anaan doesn't answer keeps looking away. “I thought you and Bull were done?” She looks at Avar and then back to Anaan sighs dramatically. “Really? Sleeping with one man when you want another is not exactly the best way get the one you want back. Besides I remember Arvaarad saying that was very not okay but to each their own. Start drinking health potions every day and none of that until I or Solas give you the okay are we clear?”

Anaan nods and Vivienne leaves so she gets dressed watches as Avar's posture is one of shame and knows he is likely beating himself up about what happened. Anaan places a hand on his back waits as Avar turns and places her head on his chest one hand hooking behind his neck the other placed on his chest feeling the beating of his heart. “I am sorry Avar, I know this is not what you wanted. We need to leave though; I do not want Bull to know this.” Avar nods grabbing their gear and meeting the others for breakfast.

“We should do this on a regular basis.” Josephine comments snagging the last piece of bacon before Bull can earning a glare.

“We eat together on a regular basis Ambassador.” Blackwell comments offering her a biscuit.

“Yes but not just us together it is usually only when you travel together.”

“Good idea.” Anaan finally comments continuing to eat her ham in silence after she said it.

“I’m sorry what? You actually want to eat with this group on a regular basis?” Vivienne sits down

“Yes.” Anaan answers just as quietly as before takes the health potion laced wine from Vivienne.

“Anaan are you injured?” Bull asks smelling the potion checking her over carefully.

“Yes.” Anaan doesn’t elaborate which earns a glare from Bull but no further comment.

“Are you okay to travel?” Varric asks.

“Travel yes, fight no.” Vivienne answers for Anaan arches an eyebrow at Anaan when she gets up to leave the table taking the wine with her.

“Commander, you are healed?” Anaan asks seeing him walk in.

“Yes, no lingering issues I will be swinging a sword if needed.” Cullen answers moves so Anaan can pass.

“Not following her?” Varric asks Avar who continues to eat.

“No, if she wanted me to follow her she would have waited for me to finish eating.” Avar smiles grabs the piece of ham off of Varric’s plate.

“Normally how does that work?” Cullen asks drinking his own health potion laced wine.

“How does what work?” Avar asks since it is way too broad a question “Ah, those well basically grab a mabari warhound, put a muzzle on it, put chains on it and put it on a leash and that is what Anaan would be treated like. Except put the leash in the hands of a warlord hell bent on making the world his. I assume you saw at least one Sarebaas with Arvaarad when he was correcting her runes, did you ever see him speak to it or offer it food?” Cullen shook his head no. “Dogs Commander they are treated like dogs.”

“Is that why you left?” Dorian asks curious now.

“No I left for other reasons. Anaan is ready to leave.” Avar is up and out of the room without any of them being able to ask anything else.

“How does he know that?” Varric asks looking at Bull.

“Magic.” Bull answers.

“No really.” Varric pushes.

“Anaan cast a spell Varric, Avar can feel her magic when it is used same as a Templar.” Vivienne indicates the empty seat where Cullen was a moment ago.

Halemshiral is beautiful with its rolling hills and fragrant flowers and Anaan laughs as her dracolisk has a sneezing fit when they stop for the night. All eyes turn to her as she places a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound then laughs again when Ash opens his mouth in a yawn at her. “What?” Anaan looks at the group and then Ash back to the group.

“You have a musical laugh Inquisitor.” Cullen comments tossing a nug to Ash who catches it and chews noisily on it.

“Oh.” Anaan turns away getting the saddle off of Ash dodging the muzzle that shoots out to take a bite of her earning a growl from her.

Slices of a knife, blood welling and being painted with across her stomach more slices in careful intervals other Sarebaas curled into a bloody ball barely breathing still she does not cast. Arvaarad continues to trace runes over her skin she feels her runes react to her blood to his as he mixes the two arching off the ground she cannot scream the collar is turned up too high she had asked for the collar when she had seen it. He had bought it and placed it on her neck and now was playing with her runes her magic is pulsing the collar keeps her contained but the runes burn she is on fire. “Anaan!” Avar is trying to wake her carefully every single rune on her body is lite up and if he does this wrong she will blow them all up. “Vivienne!” Avar shouts is pleased the mage is there shortly along with Cullen and Cassandra. “Viv I need you to barrier her or at least us two.”

Anaan is writhing her markings getting brighter. “Fuck.” Bull is there steps to Anaan automatically stroking her face, “Kadan, easy Kadan wake, Kost Anaan Kost.” Anaan’s runes get brighter causing Bull and the others to back up leaving Avar there gritting his teeth against the magic even as Vivienne casts a barrier, Cassandra tries to suppress her and Cullen is casting cleanse. Anaan’s magic explodes out Avar’s barrier holds from his control rod but Vivienne’s barrier is no match for Anaan’s magic shattering with a pop though Vivienne casts another instantly containing the magic breathing heavy with the effort.

“Arvaarad!” Anaan opens her eyes “Return to dust, return to dust I am nothing.” Anaan is reaching for the control rod Avar lets her grab it catches his breath when her runes lite up again catches her head to his chest as she finally releases it.

“Go, she is fine now thank you Vivienne.” Avar clears the others out even as Bull stays where he is waits for Anaan to wake up. Avar grabs a scrap of leather out of his pouches hands it to Anaan as she claws at him still trying to wake up watches as her breathing slows.

“Kadan.” Anaan intones opens eyes to see Avar but knows Bull is there. “Bull.” Anaan sits up takes the skin Avar hands her takes a drink but does not move to Bull. She stays where she is at in Avar’s lap watches Bull as he watches her. “I am okay, I do not need Bull I want Kadan but you are not him now.” Anaan knows better than to try her legs crawls away from both of them as they watch her Bull waits for the pain waits for the tremors knows it will happen and it does.

“I thought when your runes were fixed these would stop, you haven’t had an attack this bad since Avar came and joined us. There has been no triggers so what gives Anaan? Why are we having to cast barriers and you are on your hands and knees again?” Bull stays where he is at.

Avar walks towards her, “He hits you here, over and over the staff is wrapped in heavy cloth to keep the markings from being damaged. He steps on your fingers usually the right hand with his boots breaks them uses them to pull you up pushes you down follows with a kick to the ribs then there is the right cross to the jaw sometimes it cracks and sometimes it just bruises. Another kick to the ribs and yes the fun begins as he straddles you putting your hands over your head as the knife slices so close to your runes but never damages them this is done until you pass out then he starts on the next Sarebaas lets you watch and listen as he does the same to that one.”

Avar is straddling Anaan, hands tracing the curves tracing the lines of what he would do to her. “He’d never violate you but the males, males he took personal pleasure in made you watch wanted you to touch yourself but you wouldn’t. He’d take out his aggression on the male Sarebaas for your inability but you still had to watch he’d never let you go though, you were his Anaan his victory.” Anaan doesn’t speak can’t there is nothing she can say to make this different. Avar gets off of her helps her to the bedroll presses her palm to his chest when she wraps around him. “Safe Anaan safe Avar is here he cannot get you.”

“How did you know?” Anaan asks watches Bull’s face as he processes everything.

“Yas and the way you reacted to everything. I agree with Bull though, you haven’t had an attack since I got here so why now what set it off?” Avar keeps stroking her she is still shivering and shuddering.

“No idea has been a fine day.” Anaan sits up shakes her head no when Avar wants to get up. “I want to be alone, sleep Avar you need it.” Anaan walks away stays in sight of Avar but is far enough away she can’t hear them speak.

“Two steps forward and a dozen backwards.” Avar stays where he is at on the bedroll.

“Has she told you about us?” Bull is curious just how far the trust runs between Anaan and Avar.

“Besides what she revealed while she was tied no. I haven’t been focusing on that really I have been trying to keep her under control and allow her to explore her freedom from the Qun. Some days she wants me and other days she wants him and sometimes she wants the first one. Every day she wants you though, you are her constant and I know the game you are playing. She doesn’t see she’s lost you because she doesn’t want to but when she does she’s either going to kill you or herself. So play carefully Hissrad, careful.”

Bull looks at Avar meeting the eyes as they look at him and then at her. “Forgiveness is a long road of small things until you aren’t upset anymore she didn’t even mourn just spouted forward and that is it.”

“She mourns, her morning passages are the words for the lost, her evening passages are the passage of forgiveness just because she doesn’t seek solace from you doesn’t mean she doesn’t want or need it. You pushed her she said no made the choice and then you made the choice to not accept her choice so she mourns both of you. Now go away Bull, we both need sleep.” Bull leaves as Anaan heads back to the blankets settles into Avar’s arms.

“This is where the Empress stays?” Anaan has stopped her dracolisk at the top of the hill overlooking the Winter Palace. “It is large.”

“Yes this is the family residence so there are always people here the Empress splits her time between all of her residences. Orlais is a vast empire and she has ruled it for a very long time.” Cullen is next to her his charger baring his teeth at Ash who tries to sneak a bite. “We can do this Inquisitor, we are ready for this.” Anaan nods heads down the hill with the others notices another group coming as well.

“Inquisitor, we will show you to your rooms please let us know if you need anything.” It is a human and two elves.

“Psst, Inquisitor! Over here!” Sera is bouncing over to the group stops at the look from Cassandra when she would try to hug Anaan.

“Ladies we do not have much time to get dressed let’s get going.” Josephine has them follow her to the rooms having baths drawn and dresses laid out. “Empress Celene has given the Inquisitor access to her private bath if she would like.” Human says earning an eyebrow raise from Leliana.

“Lead the way.” Anaan inclines her head is not surprised when both Bull and Avar follow her. “They are coming as well?” Human is a bit surprised. “yes.” 

Anaan does not elaborate as Myra carries clothing for all three Qunari hands a list of food to the human, “Bring refreshments please Inquisitor normally eats while she bathes.” Human nods when they get to the bath chambers and Anaan takes one look at the tub and shakes her head no. 

“Myra, this is not going to work please tell me you have better.” Myra nods ignore the shocked looks on the servants’ faces as she leads the Qunari to the servant’s quarters. Bull looks at the deep pool in satisfaction, “Better.” 

Bull strips wades in sighs at the warmth. “Too hot for you Anaan but feels wonderful to me.”

Anaan hisses as she gets in misses a step landing hard in the water coming up sputtering. “Vashedean.” Anaan grits her teeth against the heat looks to see Avar getting in as well. “Myra, join us you are in need as well.” Myra hesitates only until the food arrives before stripping down to smalls and breastband to join them. Anaan grabs some bread and cheese feeds it to Avar as he assesses her for damage noticing the faint tinge of blood in the water.

When Myra would wash herself Bull takes the soup from her easily restrains her when she yelps in surprise. “Easy Myra, part of the fun of group bathing is washing each other. I won’t hurt you.”

Myra checks to see if Anaan has an issue with this. “Bathing does not mean that Myra. Merely builds friendships and knowledge.” Myra nods as Bull’s fingers work soap into her skin moves away when his fingers dip low.

“Come Myra.” Anaan beckons the human hands the soap to her stays still as Myra works the soap into her skin finishes bathing Myra before indicating she should wash Avar or Bull. “your choice.” Myra heads to Bull not familiar or comfortable enough with Avar.

As Anaan washes Avar she cannot ignore the thought of her hands on Bull, “Easy Anaan she is doing as you bade her.” Avar breathes gently on the juncture between neck and shoulder watches as Anaan flushes with heat “Not here, not now control Anaan control.” Anaan feeds him more ham takes a bite herself washing it down with water.

“She wants him.” Anaan says it quietly a whisper only to Avar.

“She does not, she would not betray you like that.” Done with baths they are back to the rooms Josephine barring both Bull and Avar waves them down to the other rooms. Myra is quick in getting Anaan dressed steps back to see her handiwork with a smile. Anaan is baring a lot of skin but not as much as they thought she would. All of the group has a silver armband or sash with the symbol of the inquisition on it.

“Goals for the night are Anaan need you to be front and center greeting everyone. If you hear any good gossip or anything about the plot to kill Celene let me know. Bull just use your training and lets see what we can find out. Sera you are up for looking through the rooms and coming up with evidence of plots. There are also some stashes Sera would like raided that have great secrets. Sera I swear if there are jars of bees or underpants I will make you sit through dance lessons for a month.” Leliana glares at the elf.

“My info is good.” Sera sticks her tongue out in the process. Anaan looks and sees Avar in the corner; he is not dressed for an event.

He crosses to her immediately, “Easy Anaan, if you get overwhelmed get to Cullen or Cassandra both can deal with you. This is part of independence Anaan, you wanted this now take it.”

“Are we sure we want to test her independence here and now?” Josephine is nervous.

“Yes.” Is the resounding reply from Cullen, Cassandra and Leliana.

“Inquisitor Anaan Adaar. The Iron Bull, Vivienne , Dorian Pavus of house Pavus.” Introductions are done and Anaan curtsies to the Empress and lets her attention fall to the Duchess of Lydes sister of Gaspard and wonders. Anaan spends most of the evening talking to nobles trying to figure out what they are saying and hearing interesting gossip but nothing great.

“Inquistor, if I may?” He is wearing a mask though Anaan cannot detect the accent of the Orlesian he speaks like Sera does a Ferelden then. He takes her hand leading her to he dance floor and bowing as she takes her place. “It is interesting to see the Qunari leading the Inquisition, do you truly believe you are the chosen of Andraste?” 

“I believe I am the one that can close the rifts and stop the false god.” Anaan has no inflection in her voice hers the flat speech given to one not interesting to her.

“If that is the case why are you here playing social butterfly and not closing rifts?” A step to the side a turn around.

“I would see these peace talks successful. Many rifts in Orlais I’d rather not be caught in a war.” Anaan answers smoothly.

“Nothing to do with the plot on Celene huh? I am betting you know about the plot, question is what are you going to do? You came with Gaspard do you think to install him as the Emperor?” Another turn the other way three more steps. “Going to leave it as Celene? Or are you going to try and get the elf on the throne? So many choices!” Song ends and she curtsies to him.

“Shall we discuss in the garden?” Anaan offers takes the arm of the human as he places his hand on her waist leading her out to the gardens. It takes too long for the group to realize Anaan is missing when they do it’s Cullen who senses her use of magic.

“Inquisition, to the Inquisitor.” Cullen is out of the door into the gardens having said that phrase to Leliana whose two note whistle gathers the rest of the group. Anaan is standing in a globe of energy her staff out but not daring to attack the 15 or so humans circling her warily. Dorian casts terror and horror on a few watches as Vivienne pulls a sword from the fade and casts barriers on everyone wading into the fight. Cullen stabs one man with his dagger takes the man’s sword and lays into a few more. Bull is using just his bare hands and is devastating with them.

With the arrival of help Anaan drops her barrier and starts casting in earnest is pleased to see Avar arrive with Bull’s blade along with Cassandra’s and his own. Tossing blades to appropriate folks Avar uses his shield to stay between Anaan and any attacks they work as a cohesive unit until the attackers are all dead. Vivienne waves a hand getting most of the blood and dirt from the group removed sets to repairing her own outfit while Dorian works on Anaan’s.

“Easy Inquisitor I assure you I don’t want that.” Bull’s head snaps at that watches as Dorian readjusts Anaan’s top getting way too close to her breasts watches as Anaan waves him off again. “Don’t, katoh.” Dorian steps back looks to Avar who approaches carefully.

“Anaan?” Then he sees it, a wicked cut very close to her breasts sees another on her clavicle but it’s the bruising on her arm and throat that have his breathing heavy.

“Leliana, do you have enough information to know who the assassin is?” Cullen is reading Anaan’s reaction as well knows exactly what happened.

“I do, both Briala and Gaspard are plotting against her though the assassin is Gaspard’s sister.”

“Inquisitor, we need you to make a choice we can let the assassination happen and put Gaspard on the throne, we can arrest the sister and leave Celene on the throne or let it go and put Briala on.” Anaan steps away from Avar when he wants to put hands on her wants desperately to go to Bull but doesn’t.

“I need a moment Commander. I want to talk to Brialla. I won’t make this decision on my own, advisers advise.” Anaan takes the health potion Vivienne gives her sips it carefully.

“Inquisitor if you need to withdraw we can.” Leliana offers sees the pain Anaan is in remembers her not being fit to fight.

“No, this will be settled. Advisers.” Each gives her opinions and Anaan sighs. “Military is loyal to Gaspard, we need his troops for Corephyus, let the assassination happen arrest the sister afterwards.” Anaan places her hand on her runes frowns when it comes back bloody “Can’t cauterize these, they need to heal.” Anaan stands carefully.

“They need to be cleaned and rebandaged come with me.”Vivienne is nodding at Anaan.

Avar goes to help her is met with a globe of energy. “Sarebaas!” Avar growls is surprised when Anaan still keeps the globe in her hand.

“No males, please Avar please.”

Avar steps towards her again. “I am not male I am Arvaarad and Qunari, you will stop this now.” Avar takes the final step to her grabs the wrist that has the globe in it making her release it places his forehead on hers. “I would never hurt you Anaan, you are safe with me do not undo our work because a bas laid hands on you where he shouldn’t have. You are my Sarebaas.” Anaan nods and follows Vivienne away to be bandaged and healed.

“Is she okay?” Leliana asks voice tinged with worry.

“No, she is not okay and won’t be for a bit. Not sure how far he got with her but it was far enough to rattle her badly.” Cullen walks with the rest of the group to the rooms to drop off weapons and get back to the dance.

“I will get Brialla to talk to Anaan, Celene is about to make her speech shortly and Anaan needs to be there for that.” Leliana moves quickly to the elven woman in question is not surprised Bull is on her heels. “Not trusting me Bull?” Leliana looks over her shoulder at the man.

“I trust you fine, just need something to keep my mind away from having Dorian raise that man’s corpse and do evil things to it.”

“Ah, you too huh? Well lets get this shit done and we can conspire on it over ale.”

“Are you sure you want to have Celene killed?” Vivienne asks as she traces the antiseptic over Anaan knows Avar’s fingers are being squeezed almost to death but Anaan is silent won’t make a sound of pain.

“Death better than her life she would be chaos if alive, Gaspard cannot rule with a rival alive. Either she dies tonight or later when Gaspard can get it done. I need his men.” Avar leans down traces a finger down her face. Vivienne steps away to let the antiseptic work Anaan is laying on a bench, Avar with his hair down kneels next to her his entire focus on her. Avar truly cares for Anaan, it is in his pose in the way his every motion is to protect or comfort her wonders if Anaan realizes her Arvaarad is in love with her. Placing the bandage on Anaan Vivienne arranges the skirt now clean of blood back on her hips allows Anaan to sit back up watches as Avar hangs onto her and she to him.

“Let me wash up and we will go back down.” Vivienne moves out of the room hear Avar and Anaan speaking in qunlat softly.

Avar kisses her softly, he needs the intimacy more than she does is pleased when she respond. “Get through the night and I will take his scent off of you, I will take the taint I promise.”

Anaan stands up when Vivienne comes out walks to her carefully doesn’t look back to Avar. “I will bring her back Avar, I promise.”

As Anaan watches Celene be murdered, watches as Cullen arrests the sister of the man she put on the throne she feels nothing. Watching Gaspard step forward and claim the throne though she is happy, Leliana brokered the deal for Gaspard to deal fairly with the elves and Anaan is happy to get back to her rooms wants nothing more than to sleep. “Anaan, are your bandages holding up?” Vivienne asks coming in quietly sees Cullen and Bull are with her.

“Fine, Commander?” Anaan turns her attention to Cullen watches as he paces for a moment regards her as she sits in the bed hair down, covers pulled up Avar is near her his bed in the other room though he is currently in a chair reaches to catch her hand.

“What happened?” Cullen asks carefully takes a seat when Anaan indicates the end of the bed.

“He attacked me, I killed him met with heavy resistance you came.” Anaan shrugs at the information.

“Anaan.” Bull admonishes.

“Why are you here Bull? What concern is it of yours?” There is no inflection in her voice, she is not accusing she is curious.

“You killed the man who attacked you? Anaan do not lie to me, you know better. Only thing dead down in that courtyard are Venatori thugs, there is no duke or Crow down there.” Bull crosses his arms leans against the mantle of the fireplace.

“Men who attacked me are dead.” Anaan answers stubbornly.

“Anaan.” Cullen says it quietly, its a hundred questions in one word the man just does it. Gold eyes snag and demand of silver, his arms crossed as he regards her in tunic and pants. He is wearing a cloak against the chill the fur at the neck lending him the lion thing again. When he strides to her it is the careful prowl of a predator this one is Basalit-an, human worth following.

“He requested to talk to me in the garden, had a paralyze potion and used it on me.” Anaan shakes her head, “I could do nothing to stop him. His request was interesting, he was interested in the Qunari form to see if we were truly that different was delighted to see we weren't.” fingers knead a pillow she can't look at Cullen as she says this wouldn't know how. “He did not please me, was interrupted when the attackers came. He was able to escape, I was able to get my magic to work was injured as the attackers taunted me. I have never had that happen to me before.”

“Taunts?” Cullen is curious.

“No, I am taunted on a regular basis I am Sarebaas, ox-head, mage, and a hundred other insults which aren't because they are true. I am a sarebaas, I am a mage calling me those things is not different or untruthful. I have never been paralyzed before I did not like it. Sex with the human was not satisfactory either.” Anaan looks at Cullen tilts her head curiously at him.

“That was not sex and you know it that was wrong he should not have touched you, shouldn't have done that to you humans call it rape.” Cullen is angry.

“I am aware of the concept Commander, it happens to Qunari as well. It happened, it is done, I want to sleep.” Anaan stops any further conversation with a stop hand to Cullen. “Peace Commander, if the bas appears again I will kill him. If not he lives, you will not take the burden of his death Commander.” Cullen nods and leaves Anaan meets Bull's gaze.

“Hunt him Bull, his name is Duke Monteverte or at least that is the name he gave. Dispose of him as you see fit, same age and height as Cullen, built like Dorian, same coloring as Gaspard blue eyes with flecks of green. Scar right wrist, mole on left earlobe.” Anaan does not raise her voice, there is nothing to think she is upset or even rattled. 

Bull nods and crosses to her. “I will hunt him, I will find him why did you go this route?”

“I want him punished as the Qun dictates, he does not deserve to stand in front of me and be judged. He does not deserve to have his crimes against me read so others will see me as weak. I am not weak, I will not have a bas make me so.” Anaan's eyes are flashing.

“As you wish Anaan, sleep well.” Bull leaves and Avar locks the door drops clothing on his side of the bed is under the covers wrapping her up in his arms. It is the careful marking of her as his, making sure every inch of her skin is saturated in his scent he is not taking chances with nightmares tonight needs her to find as much comfort in him as possible. Anaan rumbles appreciatively as she curls up on his chest traces fingers before finally sleeping.

SkyHold is a welcome sight to the group as they ride through; Bull had not come back with them begging off as Ben-Hassrath work which Cullen had not been fooled by.

“Why would you send Bull after the man when we could use the Inquisition forces? Why did not you want to judge him yourself?”

“Not enough.” Anaan had answered had waited to see what Cullen would make of the two words.

“You don't want it known; you want Bull to take care of this because you know he will have no qualms hurting the man. Anaan you walk a dangerous path, once down that path it is easy to use that power for wrong.”

“I did not use Inquisition.” Anaan points out patiently.

“No, you used the resources of your ex-lover. Kudos for keeping him close enough he'd actually do it. Maker my apologies Anaan, I did not mean it that way.” Cullen ducks his head away from her walks to the war table.

“He has not forgiven me, I am not sure he ever will. He can be in the same room and I miss him, I can catch a scent and miss him but he won't let me touch him. Anger that is the only thing he has for me.” Anaan picks at the fabric of the chair stops the fidgeting and sits still.

“Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is to let them go. You told him you were done, you were willing to let him go once there had to be a reason.” Cullen glances at Anaan sees the distress on her face.

“Did you let yours go?” Anaan asks carefully.

“Yes, I wanted her for years. She was a mage under my care; she left the circle and became the Hero of Ferelden. Now she is the Warden Commander of Ferelden, kicking ass and taking names. Very different from the quiet shy girl I wanted in the tower.” Cullen chuckles at the reveal. “I think I've kept you from Avar enough for one evening we can discuss more plan in the morning?” Anaan nods and leaves.

Anaan is crossing the hall when she sees him; she waits for the familiar rush of arousal, happiness and finds none. Rather than go to him Anaan heads up to her chambers her mind wondering how that could be. He is Kadan, she should always be happy to see him. Since he’d been gone she’d closed more rifts, collected more shards and been approached by Mother Giselle to deal with a Dorian issue. “His father has contacted us, he wishes to speak with Dorian will have a retainer in Redcliffe if you will bring him there.”

She’d actually been on her way to speak with Dorian about it when Bull had come back she’d retreated to her chambers. Anaan takes a deep breath waits for calm to reach her. “Anaan?” Avar walks towards her offers his hands to her which she takes placing her forehead on his.

“Bull is back, I need to meet with him.” As if summoned there is a knock on the door and Anaan answers it indicates for Bull to enter.

Bull cups her face waits for her to smell the bracers knows her body relaxes at the scent looks to Avar for a moment before he takes them off and tosses them to the shocked man. “Task you requested is done Inquisitor, with your reaction to these I am betting they will be better used if they are the ones he uses instead of me.”

“You don't even want to try?” Bull shakes his head no pulls her close her body pliant and wanting against his. “Why?”

“I cannot be what you want Anaan. Mere thought of a future with me had you running away into another man's arms. I am a distraction when you really don't need it and I am afraid my anger towards you will make me do something we will both regret.” Bull keeps her close his hands memorizing, his body not reacting to her but still offering. “I loved you Anaan, never doubt that I just can't forgive you and I know you didn't know I know he probably forced the choice.”

“Katoh.” Anaan steps away from him his automatic reaction to the word what she wants as he doesn't reach for her stand silent and waiting. “It is done, I accept your choice and I thank you for your service. I still need you though, I still need the Chargers.”

“That will not change Inquisitor the Chargers and I are still here to help as needed. Kost Anaan, ash aqun. Peace Anaan seek balance.” Bull leaves and Anaan looks back at Avar.

“You okay?” Avar asks already has his rod in his hand the bracers on the bed forgotten for the moment. Anaan shakes her head no hits her knees tears already streaming her body already shaking.

“Anaan? Oh dear, come here I got you.” Vivienne is there arms wrapped around Anaan as the mage mourns Vivienne keeping a barrier up as Anaan pulses her emotions and therefore her magic reacting accordingly. Cullen is there shortly already working to suppress her magic watches as Vivienne hangs onto her as Avar watches.

“Bull?” Cullen asks and Avar nods even as Cullen shakes his head no not sure how to make this better.

“She'll be fine Commander just let her go through it. Lots of emotions at play here, relief she's not in limbo, happiness both he is safe and he is not taking him and his men with him, sadness she is really losing him that her choice truly cost her, anger at herself and him. Just let her work through it and she'll be fine.”

“How do you know all of that?” Cullen asks truly wondering if the man is right.

“Because I am feeling it to, because emotions smell. You are a Templar you cannot tell me you did not feel what they did that you did not grieve with them celebrate with them.” Avar watches Cullen sees the shoulders tense sees the clench of the jaw.

“If I did it was not something we could share with the mage, they are our charges our duty to control them to watch to make sure they did not become tempted by either blood magic or demons. We did not bed them nor.”

“Enough Commander, take it outside if you want to talk the finer points of controlling mages.” Vivienne glares at them both and Cullen has the decency to duck his head in shame.

“I do not bed her Commander that is not why I am here. My commitment to her is etched into her skin, is in every spell she casts, every fight she survives. Arvaraads are a lifetime of commitment to each other by the Qun my death dictates hers if I die she would be killed. She has survived the fall of two Arvaraads that marks her a survivor you do not understand what she is. She is one of the most powerful Sarebaas I have ever encountered and she's growing with practice and experience, her control is flawless there is no wasted magic no overlap or buildup normally.” Avar turns to Anaan, sees the mage watch him. “Anaan, come to me Avar is here, control is possible come to me.”

Anaan steps to him accept the control rod as it is held out breathes through the pain looks back to Vivienne. “Want to share magic with her Anaan? She'd be a good match to you and it would burn off the extra of you both.” Avar is giving her that smile that makes her want to be better for him that makes her happy he is in her life.

“Share magic? What is that?” Vivienne asks warily watching both of them.

“I will show you come.” Anaan is like a school girl pulling Vivienne out of her chambers and down the stairs out of the keep her long legged strides more than Vivienne can keep up with Cullen and Avar behind her.

“Slow down Anaan, not all of us have legs the length of trees.” Anaan slows slightly waits until they are far enough away from SkyHold they won't bother anyone.

“Sit, grab my arms like so now open your magic let it flow.” Anaan kneels faces Vivienne as she does what she says Vivienne throwing up a barrier quickly as Anaan's magic races towards her.

“Easy Anaan, your magic bites.” Vivienne scolds tries to do as asked sighs when she feels Anaan's magic join with hers it is enough to have her moan.

“What is this?” Cullen asks fascinated by the purple and white light show with the two women in the middle.

“A way for Sarebaas to work out any issues they have and to learn from each other as well. Anaan uses it to find calm a stress relief Vivienne is aroused.” Avar frowns at that. “Vivienne that is not the point of this.” Avar crosses his arms.

“I am well aware of the point of this Avar however it’s like a thousand fingers racing over me at once each one finding that spot I need itched.” Vivienne breathes through the sensation until Anaan runs hands over her.

“Let go Vivienne, it will feel better I promise.” Anaan leans forward but Vivienne shuts her magic off throws Anaan back reaches for Cullen as he steps up to cleanse her.

“Templar is here Enchanter, trust me there we go. Never again Anaan, you do not force a mage past where they want to go.” Cullen keeps his hand on Vivienne's neck holding her close until she steps away.

“Cullen, she is fine I thank you Anaan. I would like to do that again just perhaps not when you are so emotional?” Anaan nods hangs her head as Vivienne and Cullen walk away.

“Let’s get some food, I need to figure out what the next challenge is.” Anaan stands up goes to Avar and hugs him. “Thank you for being here with me, thank you for being my Arvaarad.”


	12. -Foul-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is one of my favorite chapters. Thank you for the support folks. :) OH NSFW!!

“Dorian.” Anaan approaches the mage’s alcove on the upper balcony of the rotunda. It’s his favorite place with its comfortable chairs and access to books.

“Inquisitor.” Dorian bows slightly earning a scowl that has him chuckle slightly. “You should be used to it by now, it is after all appropriate to bow to one’s patroness when she graces you with her presence.” Anaan sits in the chair opposite Dorian’s waits for him to join her. “Antivan Brandy? It’s not half bad actually.” Anaan waves it off pulls out the letter Mother Giselle gave her hands it over. “Ah, ever one to cut to the chase what is this?” Dorian quickly scans it his face growing darker before he is up pacing. “So my father wishes to meet me, interesting. Did it cross your mind to just take me there and let him take me?”

Anaan shakes her head no. “I would not do that to you Dorian, I would never lead you into a trap I would hope you could say the same.”

Dorian is looking at her from where he stands his arms crossed the letter clutched in his hand. “I wish you understood how amazing you are Inquisitor. You have the subtlety of a bronto but you never deceive never ask more than you are willing to give of yourself. It’s refreshing really.”

Anaan waves off the compliment, “Enough flattery I will clap later what do you want to do about the letter?”

Dorian laughs it is a full body laugh. “You made a joke; I never thought it was possible.” At the look on Anaan’s face though he shakes his head, “Oh you were serious, announced applause, I think I can live with that. As for this letter we can certainly go to Redcliffe and meet with this retainer. We might give thought to maybe trying to take the castle back as well.”

Anaan nods, “You did not agree with me siding with the Templars, do you understand why yet?”

Dorian shakes his head no, “You and I will never see eye to eye on that we come from two different worlds. It was your choice to make and you made it, they have come in handy since that choice just don't let them continue the path they were on with KirkWall. There must be limits to control; my biggest fear is you will be blind to the chains.”

Anaan shakes her head no, “That they be so lucky to earn chains, runes and collar.”

Dorian sighs at that looks at the manacle Anaan still wears on her wrist the gift from her Arvaarad that had corrected her runes. “Can you explain that to me?” Anaan debates, as a fellow mage she is more equipped to tell him than Arvaarad but she is not sure he would approve. “I apologize if the question makes you uncomfortable Inquisitor it was passing curiosity only.”

Anaan shakes her head no, “It is not that, as a mage I am equipped to tell you but I am unsure if Avar would be okay with me speaking about it. That bond,” Anaan sets her mouth nods. “When our magic comes into manifestation we are secluded from the others. Before then we are raised with the other children, normal nothing different. My bloodlines mark me special I was being groomed to enter the priesthood as Tamassran it is why I know how to dress, why my speech is not flawed. I was brought to Par Vollen when I was 10, my magic did not wake until 15 Kossith do not age as humans. We are slower to mature my Tamassran, teacher was destroyed when my magic woke.”

Dorian’s eyes go past Anaan to the door, “Avar.”

Anaan is out of the chair though he catches her when she would submit, “No submitting Anaan still have to work on that one.” Anaan places her forehead on his as his hand slips to her neck until her breathing is slow and steady he releases her.

“We were just talking about her time as Sarebaas join us?” Dorian offers waits to see what Avar’s reaction will be.

“I have not told him Qun, only experience I will stop if you like.”

“Breathe Anaan, easy it is okay you are okay. Tell whoever you like about your time as Sarebaas or not, I trust you would never reveal secrets between us. Just as I would not I felt you casting, not sure why a discussion about mages would require spells though particularly defensive ones.” Avar waits as Anaan lets the spells go, ducks her head in apology.

“How do you know that?”

Avar holds up his rod to Dorian, “handle has a list of her runes on it highlights which runes are cast just as the runes on her body highlight. More runes the Sarebaas has the more power they have, more spells they know they can cast outside their rune knowledge hence why she can work the fire. She’s figured out how to hook the fire to her runes drawing on even more power that is a very rare talent. If it does not disturb Anaan to continue her tale I will stay and listen.”

Anaan nods sits on the footstool allowing Avar the chair she was sitting in. “I was sent to Sarebaas training, I was extremely good the rigors and control of Tamassran training served me well for magic. There is purpose and structure to everything in the Qun. I earned my first collar in two months earned my second by the time I was 16. Lips are done the first day you are there, it is the first mark of Sarebaas to keep you from corrupting others. I was in full chains by my 17th year and part of a Karataam that same year. I was the youngest to earn my runes my Arvaarad the one who inked all of them, he battled for me won me against 10 others Arishok confirmed the assignment.” Avar places a hand on Anaan’s arm.

“How did you earn the chains?” Dorian asks curious.

“Control, tests, new spells their training is very intense and the Arvaarads are trained with them when a Sarebaas gets their runes it is usually done by the runemaster for the basics Anaan your Arvaarad was a runemaster?”

Anaan nods, “Youngest one ever was why Arishok had to approve the assignment.”

“What about the battle for you is that normal?”

“Yes, certain Arvaarads are paired with Sarebaas from the start, they work well together they trust each other but with her control and power she would have been a match for many so the Arvaarads would bid and fight to add her to their string that a runemaster would bid that is impressive.” Dorian shakes his head no, “Would be like the Archon or whoever you would think of as a really big deal to take on your magical education.”

Dorian nods then, “Another elite mage nice when the cream rises to the top.” Avar snorts at the analogy though Anaan furrows her brows. “I had the best tutors, the best of everything my family is very powerful where you embraced your role and power I ran from my obligations. I have disappointed my parents greatly though with this letter it seems they want to talk. When do you want to go do that?”

Anaan leans back against Avar’s legs looks up at him as he looks down. “You’re the leader Anaan, I am just here to ensure you get through this alive and control intact.” Anaan stands at that walks to the edge of the balcony then back to Avar pacing.

“This is new.” Dorian tilts his head watching Anaan.

“No, she paces regularly, silence is normal what is new?”

Dorian sighs, “She is looking to you to lead, she trusts you accept you accepts your decisions and counts your opinion to matter many will call that dangerous. She cannot be a puppet.”

Anaan tilts her head to regard Dorian, “Bas will think what they like, I value all of your opinions you are all kith to me that I include Avar should not matter he is kith you are kith Cullen Leliana they are all kith. Bas opinion, what they want, desire, need will be decided for them they need only follow.” Anaan holds her hand up to stop Dorian’s protest. “When they gain voice, when they decide to be more than Bas I will listen until then I decide they obey.” 

“I do not suggest you tell the bas that.” Anaan turns to see Cullen approaching inclines her head to him.

“Cullen require?”

Cullen nods, “need a meeting about Redcliffe, we are finding some disturbing things out about what is going on in the castle.”

Anaan smiles nods, “We were just speaking of that.” Anaan turns to face Dorian and claps Dorian takes a bow winking at Anaan as he does it.

“Inquisitor do not encourage him, his ego is barely contained in the castle as it is.” Cullen sighs dramatically. “Council in an hour?” Anaan nods, “Join me for lunch there are rumors of apple pie.” Cullen walks with Anaan and the rest down to the main hall snags a scribe to gather the rest of the council sees Varric and waves him over.

“I thought we were going to start regular meals together.” Varric asks as food is set before him and the others.

“Idea sound, motivation to go not as much.” Anaan states places some steak in her mouth sighs in appreciation.

“You think we would resent it? Would come to hate it?” Cullen asks and Anaan nods.

“I do not want you to resent me you all have such precious little away time I do not want to demand more.”

Cullen nods, “But if you don’t make it mandatory there will be those who don’t thinks it’s important to go therefore defeating the purpose of it.”

“Why not a meeting in the middle?” Varric waits for the halfhearted chuckles to die down. “Make it a planning meeting that happens to have food. Josephine can do her spiel about us behaving around whatever dignitaries we have, Cullen can talk about troops for three sentences and we can each add as we need with Inquisitor letting us know what’s up next.” Anaan claps at this earning a laugh from Dorian and Avar. “I take it you like this idea Inquisitor?” Anaan nods at Varric.

“Speaking of meetings Inquisitor?” Cullen offers his hand to help Anaan up is rewarded with her placing her hand on his arm taking her to the council room. 

Anaan stops looks behind for Dorian, “Dorian you are needed for this meeting.” Dorian gets up and walks to the other side of Anaan leaving the others at the table.

When the rest trickle off and it is Avar and Varric the dwarf watches Avar for a moment, “How is our Inquisitor?”

Avar arches an eyebrow at the man sits back in his chair finishing off the pint. “Good.” Avar says it with a smile is not disappointed when Varric huffs at him.

“Damn Qunari with one word answers.” 

Avar shakes his head no, “I have read your work Varric you are very talented but I’ll not let you turn Anaan into one of your characters. Leave her be Varric, let the Inquisitor be what she is.”

Varric runs a finger along the rim of the glass, “What is that Avar?”

Avar catches Varric’s eyes, “A woman trying to fix the world and not break herself in the process.”

Varric shakes his head no, “Has anyone ever told you about how this all started? How she became the Herald and then the Inquisitor? It’s an interesting story really, Solas was the one tasked with keeping her alive with figuring out what the green thing on her hand was you should ask him how she was then. You should also ask Cassandra or Leliana about their introduction to our fair Inquisitor, it wasn’t gentle.”

Avar smiles slightly, “So you cast yourself as the sole person that can give her story the humanizing touch it needs? How would you cast me in this little tale of heroism?”

Varric shrugs, “Man who shares her burdens, keeps her focused on the tasks while sharing her bed.”

Avar laughs at that, “Romantic hero eh? You give me far too much credit and her not enough. Every so called improvement you have seen with Anaan has not been my doing it is hers. I didn’t light the fires, I merely gave her the road map to get through them that she used that map that she actually made it through the fire is all her.” Avar takes the mug of ale provided at his elbow takes a swig, “Want to tell the story of the Inquisition tell about the people who survived Haven about the soldiers who protected the village from demons about the Templars who hunted the Venatori. Anaan she’s the head sure but that is just so the historians have someone to blame about the shit that didn’t go right, the losses the tragedies the grieving widows and orphaned children. Sure the story needs to be told but leave her as a symbol, don’t humanize her she’s not and she never will be.” Avar finishes the ale and gets up. “Did I leave the great storyteller speechless?”

Varric shuts his mouth, not realizing it had been hanging open. “No but you did give me something to think about.”

Avar nods, “You did the same Varric and for that I thank you.” 

“Dorian why are you here?” Leliana asks curious why the mage would join the council meeting.

“I asked him to join.” Anaan answers nodding encouragement at Dorian.

“After Haven, Alexis retreated to Redcliffe he still has the castle there.” Cullen points to Redcliffe on the map.

“There have been rumors of Tranquil disappearing, disturbing rumors of what happens to them.” Leliana adds.

“We need more than rumors Leliana, what are these rumors?” Cassandra glares at the spymaster.

“They are taking the Tranquil and killing them, using their skulls to search for the shards.” Leliana says it quietly her voice distressed.

Anaan’s eyes fall to Dorian, “I had no idea they could or would do that I didn’t even know it was possible.” Anaan nods her head.

“We need to protect our Tranquil this must be something Corepheyus has taught them do we know why those shards are needed?” Cullen asks looks again to Leliana.

“We haven’t found anything on them yet but we are working on it.” Leliana shakes her head no.

“How are we going to get the castle back? That castle has withstood assaults for years it’s one of the most heavily fortified castles in the Thedas. On top of that I am positive King Alistair would not appreciate us destroying his childhood home.” Cullen looks at the others hand resting on sword.

“I know of an entrance into the castle, tunnels the family can use during escape we used it during the blight.” Leliana smiles.

“Too narrow, if your people are caught, we need a distraction.” Cullen sighs in frustration.

“me.” Anaan finally speaks.

“I am sorry Inquisitor what?” Josephine looks to Anaan.

“Alexis wants me, I will distract.”

“Inquisitor.” Cassandra speaks though shuts her mouth when Cullen places a hand on her.

“You would provide the distraction to let Leiliana and my soldiers get inside you would have support, you would be okay. This could work we can be ready to do this in the next couple of days if you want Inquisitor.”

Anaan meets Cullen’s eyes, “Yes we leave in four days I will take Dorian, Avar, and Varric Cassandra or Blackwell can come pick between the two of you.”

“I will go Inquisitor, with mages in the mix having my abilities might help.” Anaan nods at Cassandra’s assessment

“Anything else?” Anaan asks.

“I would ask we leave Alexis’ son Felix alive if possible, his father is the one that has joined the venatori not him he is innocent in this.” Dorian pleads with Anaan and she nods.

“We will make sure he lives if we can.”

“What is your plan for Bull?” Josephine is never one to sidestep the issues.

“Nothing.”

When Josephine would get frustrated Cullen adds, “Bull and his chargers are still needed we can use them to scout new areas and to lend aide when they can just because he does not share the Inquisitor’s bed does not mean he has abandoned his duties.” Josephine nods and all heads swivel to look at Anaan.

“Dismissed.” Anaan states is making ready to leave.

“Inquisitor when you have a moment.” Josephine says and Anaan turns to her.

“Nothing about Bull and I will speak I am done with The Iron Bull.”

Josephine nods, “I understand Inquisitor it is the matter of a duke though a particular duke that has laid claim to Haven you met him once.”

Anaan nods, “Duke Anaan nearly killed because he wanted to throw us out of Haven?” Cassandra smiles at the memory.

“Yes Cassandra that one, he was not pleased to find Inquisition troops back in Haven has captured some of the citizens and is demanding recompense.”

Anaan smiles slightly. “Bas should know when he is conquered, send Bull and his Chargers to clear the duke out, bring him before me alive.”

“Inquisitor?” Josephine is surprised.

“What would you like? Letters to tell him to stop. Words are nothing action is something, he is holding my people and he will pay for that. I will not have my people held hostage I told Leliana that when I found out about the Mire. Obviously this Bas did not heed the warning I will teach him again.”

“You are a bit like a dragon right now Anaan.” Cullen says it to lighten the mood is relieved when Anaan chuckles.

“Ataashi is beautiful and deadly, fiercely protective and chaotic it is not a flattering comparison but I like it.”

“What about beautiful and deadly is not a compliment?” Josephine is trying to understand Anaan.

“It is the chaos, to call Qunari chaotic is to insult us in the highest degree we who honor structure, commitment, strength none of those can be chaotic there is no room for chaos in the Qunari world.” Josephine nods, this she understands.

“I did not mean to insult.” Cullen ducks his head.

“None taken Basvaarad, you could not know.”

“Why do you call him that?” Cassandra asks curious about the word.

“It is what he does what he is it is his title under the Qun. I am wrong to give it I have no say but it applies. Arvaarad means control over evil they hold back the evil, Basvaarad is the same but for a convert. He is a Templar his abilities used to hold the evil of magic back therefore Basvaarad.” Anaan looks at Cassandra seems to debate something. “You would be Basalit-an, worthy opponent to fight Cassandra Leliana would be Hissrad Josephine Ashkaari truth seeker and diplomat.” Josephine nods satisfied with the answer. “Anything else?” Anaan asks when they all shake their heads no Anan leaves though her steps slow when she hears the commotion in the main hall. “Commander.”

Anaan calls is pleased when he is there shares his look of puzzlement at the din. Anaan walks through the door the guards hold open her magic already crackling.

“Sarebaas.”

Cullen barely catches her in time to keep her from submitting. “No submitting in front of SkyHold.” Cullen whispers keeping a hand on Anaan.

“Release her Bas, Sarebaas submit.”

“What is the meaning of this?” Cullen steps forward to face the Arvaarad realizes it’s the one that fixed Anan’s runes.

“Arvaarad, SkyHold welcomes you back, we will conduct our business in my office. Follow me.” Anaan turns heads up to her quarters her steps even she does not flinch.

When Cullen would follow Anaan shakes her head no, “I will send Avar.” Anaan shakes her head no again, “Hissrad only.” Cullen nods.

“Josephine refreshments for my guests please.” Anaan orders disappears up the steps.

“Why would she not want Avar?” Cullen asks as he walks with Bull.

“He’s Tal-Vashoth, they would kill him. He was there when she requested one, requesting one and actually getting and using one are different.”

Bull heads up enters and walks up to Anaan places his forehead on hers, “kadan.” Standing next to her he keeps his body protective of her. “What do you want Arvaarad?” Bull asks regards the Qunari carefully.

“Submit.” Anaan drops automatically her pose one of complete obedience. “Your runes hold? There have been no more issues?”

“She is in control Arvaarad, I will ask again why are you here?” Bull is keeping the man’s attention on him or trying.

When Karasaad come in the door Avar between them all hell breaks loose. Anaan is off the floor her magic already popping as she sees the cuts to Avar, the bruises they will pay. She has sent lightning into the Karasaads already gone to Avar cast a globe of electricity Bull is with her in the globe as he puts an arm around Avar and they walk back to the balcony.

“You would dare attack me Sarebaas?” Arvaarad already has his mage with him, there are three of them and Anaan is hoping for reinforcements realizes there are two Arvaarad. Her stance of magic in her hands her globe of electricity popping around them as she looks at the enemies surrounding them.

“Submit Anaan.” Avar croaks and Anaan releases her magic falls to her knees hands on the floor head bowed in perfect form. 

Cullen arrives with Templars his sword out Bull holds his hand out to stop. “Inquisitor?” Cullen asks he can’t see her for all the Qunari.

“He is Tal-Vashoth, by the Qun he cannot live that you would use him to control you did you think the Qunari would keep to the Alliance when you are controlled by him?” Arvaarad is furious and it shows both in his posture and his words.

Anaan is off her knees glaring at him. “You had your chance Arvaarad, you abandoned me. I took a blade for you and they rescued you but you left me!” Anaan grabs his rod when he holds it out to her, needs the pain to stay in control. “Again you abandoned me with no Arvaarad after my runes were done and you dare to come now when I have control and threaten him? Only thing keeping you alive right now is him so thank him. If Qunari has problem with alliance they can contact Josephine or Hissrad!” Anaan lets go of the rod places her forehead on his feels as he puts his rod up one hand goes to her neck the other to her waist pulling her against him, “You are not welcome in SkyHold ever again Arvaarad I am okay without you now. Walk away, attack Avar again and I will kill you he is mine I will die for what is mine.”

He rubs his forehead on hers is not surprised when she hugs him close knows tears run down her face. “Yours is a glorious struggle Anaan, balance to you, in the end lies victory.” His hand cups her face this he speaks softly only for her to hear, “ I was here for you, I was here to bring you back to the Qun.” He releases her, his back and all the others turned to her walk out the door leaving Anaan alone tears streaming down her face her fists in electricity crackling.

“Leave me.”

“Anaan.” Bull tries.

“No. You will never do that to me again, I do not care who it is or what game you wish to play you will never call me Kadan again never Bull. Get out all of you.” Anaan reaches out to the fireplace sets a line of flames between her and the men. “Avar you were not injured?” Anaan asks keeping the flames high.

“I was not.”

“Then get out, I will be alone.”

“Anaan.”

“GET OUT!” Anaan launches a globe at them is not surprised when one of the Templars dispels it but it is enough to have them leave her.

Cullen is heading back up the stairs after making sure Arvaarad and his group were escorted out. “Don’t Commander.” One of the Templars stops him.

“Avar what is going on?”

“Her world is shattering; we need to give her a bit.”

“If that is the case shouldn’t you be there?” Cullen is slightly worried, Anaan is extremely powerful.

“She’s throwing globes and drawing lines with fire, I’m good.” Avar heads down the stairs with Bull still wincing at the handling of the Karasaad.

“How did they get you?” Bull asks.

“I was talking to Blackwell and then I was up with you guys, I wasn’t expecting Qunari in SkyHold.”

Hours later Avar comes in takes it as a good sign she doesn’t throw globes at him and the flames are back in the fireplace the line on the floor visible. “Anaan?”

“He was here to bring me back, he was here to offer me the Qun. I could have gone back!” Anaan is gasping she is crying so hard.

“Why did you not take it?” Anaan shakes her head no finally looks up at him.

“When I defended you to him, when I attacked him I lost my chance. I attacked my Arvaarad, Koslun forgive me I attacked him!” Anaan is glowing, Avar is to her in a moment and she is pushing him away.

“No, get out leave me be! I am lost, lost again. Get out!” Anaan is pushing him away even as he wraps her up hangs on tight sees the bracers on the bed grabs it and passes it to her.

“Safe Anaan, you are not lost I am here. He attacked me, you protected your Arvaarad you will always protect your Arvaarad.” Anaan is smelling the bracers trying to calm down it isn't working.

“Give her this, it will put her out it's been too much today she can't cope.” Bull is there passing a potion to Avar even as Anaan launches a globe at him.

“Out Hissrad, I do not need your lies right now.”

“Understood Inquisitor but I promise after you drink that you will feel better.”

“Lies, more and more you pile on.” Bull stops at that crosses back to the bed and grabs her by the throat lifting her. His anger is a tightly leashed beast he is doing battle with right now.

“That is enough Anaan, least you forget you told Cullen to get me. Least you forget you made the choices that ended our relationship.”

“I did not tell the castle about the child, I did not.”

“Anaan Katoh.” Bull has her against the balcony wall places his forehead to hers. His posture one of just wanting to stop his fingers loosening on her throat as Avar stays still knows these two need to work it out. 

“Bull please.” Anaan dips her lips kisses him fiercely is happy when he moans a response lifts her presses against her deepens the kiss his hands already on her bun to pull her hair loose even as hers are on his harness tongue and teeth tracing claws rip at her top are gentle again against her skin. Carrying her to the bed his pants are off pulling hers as well tongue traces lower hands pulling at nipples his tongue diving deep having her arch off the bed hanging onto his horns. When he is in his body a steady rhythm and she is meeting him her hips refusing to stay still her lips are tracing his chest her teeth nipping goading him to be harder, rougher and he answers his fingers bruising his claws are kept off of her though and he releases with her hers a breathy flushed skin his a roar of satisfaction. “Sleep Anaan, rest.” Bull pulls her close waits until she moves away from him in her sleep before getting up and getting dressed.

“Like a thief in the night you leave?” Avar is sitting on his bed, door open as Bull walks past him. 

“I don't have to explain myself to you.” Bull already feels like shit, he shouldn't have slept with her to lead her on a fine ending to what had to be one of the worst days of her life. Instinct had him reacting to her pain, to offer what he had always offered what they had shared became more with time and she'd shattered it. She'd almost shattered him, never again he swears.

“Yes you do Hissrad, liar is what you are you deal in them like coins. She chose but you were the one who asked the question. You were the one that pushed for it when she told you no else that confrontation in front of Arvaarad would have gone vastly different. You blame her and she accepts it will always accept it.” Avar is not yelling his voice a hissed whisper.

“I asked her if she wanted to have kids, she killed ours and made it where she cannot have more. I told her I could be her Arvaarad and she told me I could not that I was Kadan.” Avar snorts and shakes his head no.

“She can have more Bull, Arvaarad placed runes so she cannot conceive right now he did not make it permanent. He could have, she told him no. As for Arvaarad, you cannot be both to her she needs it to be different people one for control and one to lose that control she cannot give you her heart she cannot love you when you are Arvaarad. Maybe one day you would have been able to mix the two but not now and certainly not before me. I do not bed her Bull, she does not and cannot love me she doesn't know how to mix the two.” Avar walks closer to him crosses his arms looks to the door and then back at Bull, “What you just did right now? You just led her on knowing you have nothing to give her and I get to deal with the fall out so thank you for that I'd kick your ass for it but she'd defend you and I am not back in her good graces yet.” Avar takes a deep breath clenches his jaw, “Arvaarad was here to take her back to the Qun, he offered her a way back to be Qunari and because she defended me because she attacked him she lost it again, lost him AGAIN. Yes this has been a fine fucking day for the Inquisitor.”

“If I stay it will be worse.” Bull admits and Avar nods.

“I know so yes please leave but know this, try that again without meaning to stay without committing to her and I will kill you and deal with the consequences.” Bull nods and walks out the door even as a flicker of light from his rod has Avar reaching for it walking into the room grabbing the potion Bull offered puts it down when he sees Anaan pulling sheets off the bed tossing them out to the balcony.

Reaching to help her he pulls the rest of the bedding off adds it to the pile even as Anaan is reaching for the fire sets the entire mess in flames pulls the comforter around her and settles onto the chaise outside. “I want a new bed.” Avar pulls her off the chaise grabs the pillows from the bed and his makes his way to the antechamber throws them down pulls the blankets and bedding from his and spreads it on the floor. “Not what I meant.”

“I know but it's what I can come up with for the moment. We will tell Josephine we need a new one in the morning, I will lay down with you and I will be here when you wake up Anaan I am not leaving you.” Anaan takes the potion from Avar drinks it and lays down in his arms.


	13. -Preperations-

“Inquisitor?” Myra finds Anaan and Avar a tangled mess of limbs and blankets in the antechamber a fine surprise to her morning. 

Anaan looks up at Myra from her bed of Avar and blushes. “It was a rough day and night is my breakfast here?”

Myra nods indicates the food on the table. “Yeah was certainly interesting with the Qunari here, is Avar okay? I know the Qunari were a bit rough with him.”

“I am fine Myra, thank you for the concern.” Avar stands up winces, “Okay sleeping on stone floors after having my ass kicked was not the best plan. Health potion for me?” Avar is over to the food as Myra nods, “Thank you Vivienne.” Avar toasts the wall and swigs it chases it with ale. 

“Plans for the day include Petition, then you have meetings with the trade guild and the merchant's guild. After that you have a dispute settlement with a few lords and then a council meeting to finish planning for Redcliffe. Any particular color you want to wear today? Also Josephine would like for you to consider wearing the dress the Orlesian dressmaker made for you to the dispute in hopes it might make them a bit more amenable.” Myra looks back at Anaan when she doesn't answer realizes she looks like she is about to cry.

“I think you need a day off. Think you can get through Petition and I will have Josephine push the rest?” Myra asks walking closer to Anaan.

“No, I will stick to the plan. I will wear red.” Anaan eats, gets dressed and goes about her day.

Avar heads to Josephine's office sees the woman is dealing with a noble waits when she puts a finger up. “I am aware of your difficulties Duke and I will make sure Inquisitor Anaan gets to them when she has a chance. Avar, nice to see you as you can see Duke my next meeting is here if you will excuse me.”

“Damn ox-heads get preferential treatment, it is not fair. Who is this one to the Inquisitor but another ox-head to try and control her.” Avar smiles,

“You think I cannot understand you? You speak of me as if I cannot understand what you say but you are wrong. I am her bodyguard Duke, as for ox-head we are both Qunari and I can assure you she will understand you as well. Speak carefully around the Inquisitor Duke, she might actually help you choose to continue to think her ignorant to think us all ignorant and she will fry you. Just an idea.” Avar shoves the Duke out the door and shuts it looks up at Josephine who hugs him when he gets close enough to her.

“Sorry, just I can handle almost everyone but I can't speak to them that way. Thank you for that.” Josephine steps away from him sighs as she sits at her desk. “How can I help you?”

“Anaan wants a new bed.” Avar has his arms crossed realizes what he just said.

“Makes sense after her and Bull, any preference?” Josephine indicates a catalog at the end of her desk.

Avar picks it up and flips through it, seeing what he wants he points it out. “Have you had any communication from the Qunari? Did you know they were coming?” Avar watches her responses sees the bitten lip.

“Bull asked me the same thing this morning, I had no idea the Qunari were coming I have not received anything from them since the runes.”

“How did you know to contact me to be her Arvaarad?” Avar asks was always curious how his name had ended up in the pile.

“Bull provided the contacts which he likely got from his Ben-Hassrath agents. Leliana did most of the legwork for that project.” That sends a cold chill down his spine makes him wonder just how much he actually owes Bull if the man was the one who sent the order to send him rather than kill him.

“Does she need any other furniture do you?” Josephine asks and Avar shakes his head no stops,

“Sheets, burned at set last night or this morning.” Avar sighs.

“It was a helluva day yesterday is she taking today off?” Avar cuts a glare to Josephine. “Of course she didn't well she does have a lighter day tomorrow Petitions and only three meetings then it is off to Redcliffe. I will have the bed for her when she gets back hopefully in the meantime she can sleep in the guest room on the first floor near the garden.” Josephine hands Avar the key walks with him to the room so he will know where it is. “Let me know if you need anything else.” Josephine leaves and Avar looks to see Cassandra practicing on a training dummy her sword flashing in the sun.

“Seeker.” Avar greets sees her eye the sword on his hip the shield on his back and the rod on his other hip.

“Were you always a sword and board user or did you become one when you left the Qun?” Cassandra asks.

“Always was care to spar with me?” Cassandra nods leads the way to the rings prepares herself inclining her head and lowering her shield. Her shield is the eye of the Chantry his is a heater shield with the image of a dragon flying on it flames coming out of the mouth pointing down to the ground. Cassandra comes at him in a charge and Avar just sets his shield and lets her bounce off. Cassandra is after him again though this time Avar moves lets her charge past him slaps her with the flat of his blade. They are drawing a crowd as they go after each other each giving and taking until they are both out of breath. Cassandra waves off the next bout drinks water offering the skin to Avar who takes it and drinks smiling at the woman.

“Now that we are properly tired what did you want to know?” Cassandra strips out of her armor places it on the armor stand in the blacksmith as she tosses a rag at Avar who wipes off tosses it into the bucket for that glances back to Cassandra smells her arousal stays where he is when she walks to him.

“Tell me about the first time you met Anaan.” Cassandra stops cold looks at Avar and then their surroundings.

“Not here, follow me.” Cassandra leads Avar into the castle, headed to the dungeons. “Inquisitor keeps it pretty empty with her regular Judgments. She met me in a place worse than this, the soldiers had found her crawling out of a rift there was a woman behind her hence the Andraste thing. I was blinded by grief and rage, she was unconscious for four days the hole in the sky gets bigger and the mark on her hand growing as well.” Cassandra walks to one of the cells traces a hand along the bars. “Solas is the one who kept her alive. When she awoke I had bound her hands interrogated her she said nothing. I feared she couldn't understand me, I was not kind.” Cassandra ducks her head won't meet Avar's eyes.

“Eventually she spoke.” Avar stays where he is at arms crossed regarding Cassandra.

“Yes but it was not Common, eventually she did when Solas came in and tended her wounds. She thanked him, was happy to see him but wary. I drug her to the rift Solas helped her close it.” Cassandra looks at him now, “We get along now but I was not kind to her, I regret my treatment of her then but she did not hold it against me. Knowing now what happened to her she must have thought it normal.”

“But why did you make her Inquisitor? Why did you not grasp the power for yourself? You could have controlled her she would have let you.”

Cassandra shakes her head laughs at this. “She was the one that could close the rifts, she was the one the people wanted to lead after she closed the breach. Cullen was the key to her really he could understand her when the rest of us couldn't. Then we met Bull, that was an interesting one.”

“How so?” Avar hadn't realized Cassandra had been there for that.

“She greeted him as Sten, he greeted her in kind. When he told her he was Ben-Hassrath she fried him. Not sure what he expected really he had seen her strike down opponents not 3 feet from him their only offense they were near a Qunari.”

“He told her he was Ben-Hassrath?” Avar is surprised at that.

“Yes, told her better she hear it from him than someone else. She never apologized for frying him, her attacks didn't start happening until after Haven, after she faced Corepheyus. When they did Bull was there to deal with them his distraction worked.” Cassandra walks towards Avar makes as if to touch him finds her hand captured.

“Not interested Seeker, I am much like the Inquisitor in the fact I take only Qunari to bed.” Cassandra tilts her head she is not offended.

“Why?”

“Bed sport with a Qunari can be...dangerous. When you have teeth that can cut through bone, claws that can rend flesh from bones, horns that can pierce armor and skin that is damn near impervious to cuts but can feel a feather you tend to be careful what you use them on.”

“Bull beds the tavern wenches.” Cassandra is truly curious.

“I am not Bull.” Avar answers releases her and turns to walk away.

“Feather huh?” Avar chuckles at that catches Cassandra against the steps bends his head to her neck feels her heart racing. “Avar?”

“If you are going to fantasize about it I might as well give you something good.” This is whispered against her skin his teeth grazing against her neck until she is moaning. Avar steps back and walks back up the stairs. Cassandra sits where she is at trying to get her heart under control.

Anaan is between meetings heads down to the training yards knows Bull will be there and isn't disappointed. “Bull.”

He turns to face her not sure what to expect. “Anaan.”

Anaan shakes her head no, “We will not talk about it Bull. I was out of control, you accepted it is done.”

“Why did you not tell me the child thing was not permanent? Why did you not explain why I could not be Avraarad and Kadan?” Anaan takes a deep breath.

“Not now Bull.” Anaan hears the first bell for her next meeting turns away.

“We need to talk about this.” Bull catches her arm lets go when he is zapped glares at her. “Don't run, we need to talk.”

“Not now.” Anaan starts to move again is stopped by Bull being in front of her.

“Yes now.” Avar is there blocking Bull.

“Let her go, she is going to be late to her meeting. Anaan go Josephine has food for you.” Anaan nods sends electricity through Avar who glares at her.

“For telling him about the runes, for telling him about Arvaarad you should have stayed out of it.”

Avar shakes his head is to her placing his forehead on hers. “You are correct, my apologies.”

Anaan widens her nostrils takes another whiff of him clenches her teeth. “Cassandra? Seems your day is going better than yesterday.” Avar chuckles.

“Not what you think but yes it's going a little better, got globes thrown at me yesterday so far only been electrocuted once. Still only mid day there is time yet for me to get fried.” Anaan walks off shocks him again. “Not funny Anaan.” He's answered by her musical chuckle.

“I still need to talk to her.” Bull crosses his arms looks at Avar.

“I agree but let her get through the meetings first, she's got a full day but you are welcome to try when all of them are over.” Bull nods heads back to beating the training dummy.

When Anaan comes into her rooms Avar is there and she can smell the bathwater. “Should be cool enough for you.” Anaan allows him to undress her hands her into the bath sliding in with her washing and massaging trying to get her shoulders to release their tension her fingers to loosen their grip. “Bed is ordered should be here by the time we get back from RedCliffe we have a room off the garden in the meantime if you want. Or we can camp out on the floor.”

“Anaan?” Bull comes in with food sets it down.

“Water cold you can join if you want.” Bull pulls the bench over sits on that instead watches as she eats watches as Avar's fingers work on her shoulders and then down her back. “I did not tell you about the runes because I did not want you to know yet. I did explain you could not be both Kadan and Arvaarad. You didn't listen.”

Avar has her gasping as he hits a stubborn knot. “Last night, I was wrong for that.”

Anaan waves it off, “Yes you were. I thought I had changed your mind, I thought we had a chance then you leave. What I needed you for today was to tell you I need you to go to Haven and capture the duke there, he has taken Inquisition hostages. I would like him in the cells when I get back from Redcliffe.”

“I take it Josephine doesn't like this idea, she told me to run the duke off.” Anaan arches an eyebrow at that.

“I will have words with our ambassador.” Anaan promises.

“Anaan, go easy on her she doesn't always understand what you want.” Anaan's glare might as well have been laced with electricity.

“Do not make excuses Bull, there are none I would accept.” Bull inclines his head, it had been a hard lesson for the humans around Anaan to learn. She made no excuses and she expected none from those that would follow her.

“I can go or I can stay here, your choice.” Anaan takes a steadying breath looks at Avar that morning they are headed out to Redcliffe. “We are trying to get you where you don't need me. This might be a good task for that.”

“You are coming, your skills fighting mages will come in handy.” Cassandra squashes that discussion leading out her charger smacks the horse as she tries to nibble on Avar's hair.

“Change the shampoo you are using Avar, all of the horses think it's tasty.” Blackwell smacks Varric's pony as the naughty thing tries to get Avar's hair as well.

Dorian comes close and smells Avar's hair, “Smells of mint, I like it.” That is matched with a wink which Avar smiles at causing Dorian to nearly get run over by his own horse. 

“Let's go.” Cassandra orders.

“Avar, Bull is taking his mount. New Dracolisk is in, not sure how she's going to get along with Ash but it's big enough for you.” Master Dennet is holding out the reins to the wingless dragon and Avar looks at it.

“She's blue.” Varric is surprised.

“I'd call it closer to Cerulean actually if we're going to be accurate and She's just as ugly as that thing the Inquisitor rides.” Dorian is eyeing the thing with disdain.

“Ceru it is, let's go.” Avar swings up on the mount is promptly tossed. “One moment please.” Avar feeds Ceru a nug mounts while she is busy sets his heels to the beast and rides out its hissy fit. Ash reaches over and grabs her neck stopping it immediately. Ceru ducks her head in submission and falls in line with the others.

“Is Ash male or female?” Avar asks as they ride.

“Male. Least that is what Blackwall thinks.” Anaan answers smacks Cassandra's horse who wants to take a bite out of her. “Cassandra's horse likes the taste of Qunari it seems.”

“Yes I apologize Inquisitor she is a bit of a beast.” Cassandra pats the neck of the horse affectionately.


	14. RedCliffe

Getting to RedCliffe Anaan looks at the rest of her party. “Dorian and I need to go to the Tavern for a moment, Cassandra see if you can find out about the Tranquil. Varric recruit and see if we can convince some of these mages to come to SkyHold.”

“Yes Inquisitor” Echoes back at her Avar follows her and Dorian into the tavern. 

“Dorian, I didn’t think you would come.” 

“Ah yes, of course it would be you father of course I would come.” Dorian has his arms crossed he is guarded. “Now what do you want, here to admonish me more here to make me feel even more like I made the right choice?”

“There is no reason for this display.” Dorian's father Halward states. 

“There is every reason for this display, I prefer the company of men. My father disapproves.”

“Explain.” 

“Did I stutter? Men and the company thereof. As in sex, surely you've heard oh no you wouldn't have. My apologies.” His gaze softens when he sees his words have hurt Anaan, she who does not understand so much of human customs.

“This is not what I wanted.” Dorian's father intervenes. 

“I'm never what you wanted father, or had you forgotten?” 

“Is this a problem in Tevinter?” Anaan is curious and if it wasn't for the situation Dorian would laugh. 

“Only if you're trying to live up to an impossible standard. Every Tevinter family is intermarrying to distill the perfect mage, perfect body, perfect mind. The perfect leader. It means every perceived flaw, every aberration is deviant and shameful it must be hidden.” 

“So that is what this is about? That you prefer men?” Anaan is trying to grasp this knows the pursuit of perfection well having lived by the Qun. 

“That's not all it's about.” 

“Dorian please, if you'll only listen to me.”

“Why so you can spout more convenient lies?” Dorian has walked up to his father his posture rigid and angry. “He taught me to hate blood magic, the resort of a weak mind those are HIS words.” Dorian turns away walks closer to the middle of the room almost to distance himself from the words that come next. “But what was the first thing you did when your precious heir refused to play pretend for the rest of his life?” He turns back towards Halward his voice trembling. “You tried to change me!”

“I only wanted what was best for you!”

“You wanted the best for you! For your fucking legacy! Anything for that!” He's back over by Anaan leaning on the railing trying to calm down. 

“Don't leave it like this Dorian, you'll never forgive yourself.” Avar walks closer his silent support broken by the words but Dorian knows the truth of them. Anaan is quiet, she's out of her depth here.

Dorian nods, looks at his father again. “Tell me why you came.”

“If I'd known I'd drive you to the Inquisition.” 

“YOU didn't. I joined the Inquisition because it's the right thing to do. Once I had a father who would have known that.” Dorian signals to go and Anaan nods waits for Dorian to cross to her. 

“Once I had a son who trusted me. A trust I betrayed.” Dorian stops at the words turns back. “I only wanted to talk to him. To hear his voice again, to ask him to forgive me.” Dorian looks at Avar who nods and walks closer. 

“We will be outside when you are ready Dorian.” Avar hands Anaan out the door knowing she is going to have lots of questions. “I know you have lots of questions and I will spend hours explaining it all but we need to concentrate on the mission right now.” She nods in understanding as Dorian comes out holding up a hand to stall questions. 

“I'll talk about it when we are back at SkyHold.” 

“Fair, we need to get mission done, go with Leliana's men and I will see you inside.” Dorian nods and heads to them while Anaan gathers her group Varric and Cassandra nodding at her.

Anaan approaches the castle carefully magic is tingling along her nerves but she stands firm as the man approaches her. “The invitation was for Inquisitor only, your companions will have to stay here.” 

Varric smiles, “You are going to want us with her, you wouldn’t deprive her of her attaches would you?” Man seems to debate but finally nods. 

When they walk forward Avar shifts slightly he's getting a bad feeling and when they walk forward to see the throne empty Anaan's magic is already awake the soldiers coming at them being met with a globe of energy. Anaan sees Leliana's men along with Dorian coming in as well and it is mad chaos spells, blades and lightning everywhere. 

“Anaan, we can't keep this up. There are too many and we do not have the numbers to beat them.” Avar has cuts all over his hair normally halfway pulled back has fallen nearly has Cassandra swooning as she looks at him. 

“These are mages, Cassandra can you not silence them?” Anaan is trying to hold off another barrage of spells Avar's barrier the only one they have. She should have brought Solas or Vivienne for this, her worry is silenced though when she hears a familiar voice sees the golden glint of the lion helm. 

While her group was fighting Leliana's men had managed to get the gate down and Cullen's Templars are ripping through the mages easily. Cullen's presence gives the flagging group fresh resolve though Anaan sees the blade can't get her spell off fast enough sees Avar's face a mask of surprise as the two handed axe thunks into his side but Cole is there his dagger quick across the throat of the axe man as Avar falls and Anaan's world goes chaotic. “Contain her!” Cullen shouts grits his teeth as Anaan's magic teeters into wild. 

“I have her Commander, for the moment. We need to end this quickly do we have chains for her?” Vivienne is keeping her barrier over Anaan as the mage is on her knees next to Avar. 

“No. He does have a collar but I doubt that will help.” Varric offers laying down more cover as the Venatori slow to a trickle before finally stopping. 

“Vivienne, drop the barrier in three Dorian put her under.” Cullen commands and nods as he sees they comply instantly. “Solas, can you get him up and functional?” 

“I can, it is a deep wound but I can get him up. Going to be a wonderful scar.” Solas is already removing armor Varric helping him to clear the wound and weaving magic to close the wound. “Ah, there you are Avar, I know you are in lots of pain but we need you to secure Anaan.” 

Cullen lifts his head when he hears more boots rumbling is already moving towards the front of the castle. “Well that was exciting, looks like we are about done...or not.” Dorian sees Cullen's sword drawn pulls his staff as booted feet stop. 

“Inquisition, you will explain why you are here.” King Alistair commands and Cullen bows to his liege lord. 

“Commander Cullen, actually we were taking the castle back.” Alistair briefly smiles. 

“I was coming to do the same, come in to find the mages in turmoil, the castle already being attacked. How did you get in?” 

“Through the front door, Inquisitor was invited here under the guise of peace talks was a trap and we sprung it.” He doesn't mention the family stairs not sure how much the king knows of the involvement of one of his former companions in the Inquisition. 

“She's here?” Alistair looks around sees the barrier with Anaan sitting in it her head bowed as Avar sits close to her hand on ribs. 

“Anaan, need you to get control and greet the king.” Avar requests and Anaan nods eyes locking with his. “You are fine, I am fine, you need to do this.” Another nod and he drops the barrier. 

“Your Majesty, may I present Inquisitor Anaan, and her companions.” Cullen intones as Anaan stands inclines her head to Alistair. 

“Nice to meet you, Inquisitor. Welcome to RedCliffe castle, I'd offer you a bit more hospitality but you'll have to excuse me seems we have an infestation to deal with first.” 

Anaan's eyes go between Cullen and Alistair for a moment they look very similar to her. “Commander, we found this one in the dungeons what do you want us to do with him?” 

“Felix!” Dorian is to the young man in a moment but the Templars don't let go of the mage. 

“Release him.” Anaan orders smiles as Dorian nods gratefully. “Dorian, make sure he is okay, he can come back to SkyHold with us or go home.” Dorian nods, “Felix where is Alexius?” 

“Dead.” Felix answers quietly. “I was jailed, Corypheus killed him when he let you get away. I was jailed when it was found out I was trying to leave the castle. I would like to travel to SkyHold for a time but then I want to go home. I will support the Inquisition and I will do it at home, with my father dead that makes me a Magister with a seat and I intend to use it.” 

Anaan nods, looks back to Cullen and Alistair. “You came to free the mages?” Alistair asks and Anaan nods, “Good then you will take them back with you. I offered RedCliffe as a place for them to go not to start a war, not to be taken over by Venatori I want them gone.” 

“We will take the mages with us when we leave, give us a couple of days to get it organized and we'll head out with them.” Cullen offers as Alistair nods and moves off. “Anaan, lets find someplace for Avar to recover, I'll take care of the mages go ahead and get back to SkyHold when you are ready.” 

“Commander.” 

“You were out of control, it was lucky we had Templars here. Avar was supposed to teach you to operate without an Arvaarad, you were better when you didn't have one. If this is what happens when he falls then it might be better to send him away. You cannot lose control of you magic in the middle of battle Anaan it can be deadly.” He's speaking low the words not carrying far. 

“I panicked.” 

“I know what happened Anaan, what I am telling you what I am telling both of you is it cannot happen again. I will force him from your side if I have to but you cannot rely on him that much, shit happens in battle you have lost two Arvaarads in battle have seen most of your companions knocked unconscious during a fight and not had this problem. Now when he falls your magic lashes out wild? It's not acceptable fix it.” He spins and walks away from her leaving with the rest of his Templars to check the rest of the castle to make sure it doesn't have any other surprises. 

“Anaan.” Avar calls her attention to him smiles when she finally does look at him. “We'll work on it, for now let's get out of here and onto something softer.” He stands, Anaan supporting him up the steps as they find bedrooms and water is drawn giving them both a chance to clean up, to think and to recover. 

“Commander is correct.” Anaan finally states when he is in the bed, she lounges in the chair watching him. 

“He is, we both have slipped back into our roles under the Qun. You have gained independence in many aspects of your life but not on the battlefield I have leashed you to me and that was not the plan. I was to bring you control, we will work on that you will leave me at the castle learn to battle without me.” Anaan is shaking her head no reaching for him. “Stop Anaan, you know this is for the best.” Slowly she nods looks when there is a knock and Solas comes in. 

“Are you feeling better? You should be able to sit a horse by morning and we can put this place to our backs. What are you going to do about your control?” He's casting more heals on Avar as he asks. 

“We are still discussing a plan.” Anaan admits. 

“When you are planning remember he is a valued member of your team. As you have chosen Bull to not accompany you as much and Cassandra has become more involved with the politics of the Chantry that leaves you only Blackwall and while you admire him you two have never exactly gotten along well.” Done with the healing Solas regards them both. 

“Commander is correct though, I panicked.” Anaan stands and starts to pace. 

“You did and he is not aware of the time Bull fell and you struck every enemy on the field dead with lightning. Those enemies you struck were done precisely even when you panicked your magic was controlled. This time it was not but that does not mean it will happen again, every mage has had their magic careen into the wild. In the past few weeks you have lost the man you loved, been accepted and lost the Qun again and found out many of your kind have been stripped of their magic and their life so you can pick up shards to open something.” Slight head shake, “It has not exactly been easy for you, if you magic lashed out it is no surprise, the only surprise is in how long it took to do so.” 

“I am not any mage Solas, I am Anaan the Inquisitor I do not lose control it is not acceptable.” 

“You strive to be perfect when the odds are not in your favor and it is admirable but perfection is not obtainable and that must be remembered.” 

“I do not strive to be perfect Solas, I am Anaan victory, I will be victorious I will not accept defeat. I will control my magic and I will defeat Corypheus.” 

“Yes but you cannot do it alone, Corypheus has an army and you have one too as the Inquisitor but you have your companions too each of us doing our part to get you through this to get us all through this. Avar's is control of your magic, it is okay to need help Anaan you do not need to be alone.”

“He is right and I have no right to criticize you so harshly. I have seen mages loose their control, I have seen them turn to blood magic to get more power. I have not always seen the best of mages and I am quick to admonish.” Cullen is standing in the door arms crossed. 

“You were correct Commander, it will not happen again.”

“Good, I see Avar is properly tended are you headed out in the morning?” 

“Yes.”


	15. -Hawke-

“Now that we know who we are dealing with I brought a friend that might be able to help.” Varric is standing there with Leliana, Cullen and Josephine. Anaan stands off to the side trying to figure out how to deal with the mage that would be god. 

“Then bring them.” 

He is shaking his head, “This one only for you Anaan, he doesn’t like a crowd. He’ll meet you on the battlements.” 

“If it’s who I think it is Cassandra is going to kill him.” Leliana comments and Anaan tilts her head in surprise. 

When Avar and Anaan get to the battlements its to see Varric enjoying a drink with another man. “Hawke, this is Anaan Inquisitor and Avar.” Hawke offers Anaan the chair but she does not sit. 

“Tell me about Corypheus, what do you know?” 

Hawke is taken aback a bit but leans on the battlements watching her. “There was an old Warden fortress that held a darkspawn named Corypheus He had taken over the minds of an entire Carta group. Evidently my father sealed this monster in with blood magic and only the blood of the Hawke would open it. He was dead, I killed him had no pulse, no magic nothing now Varric tells me not only is he up but he has an ArchDemon with him. I swear he was dead.” 

Anaan looks at Hawke hears the distress. “I dropped half a mountain on him and he’s still alive.” 

“If he is darkspawn won’t we need a warden to kill him?” Avar asks earning some looks. 

“Blackwall yes but Hawke has fought darkspawn anyone can but this one is he a true immortal?” Anaan is thoughtful misses the shudders of the others. 

“All of the wardens are missing, one of my friends can shed some light on that I hope, he is in Crestwood I’ll put you in contact with him.” 

Anaan nods see Hawke is studying her. “Explain.” 

Hawke laughs at that, “Little deeper voice and you would be Arishok.” 

Anaan glowers at him causing him to laugh more. “Bas to compare a woman to Arishok, a Saarebas, I should kill you for the offense.” 

“Whoa, easy Anaan, Hawke knock it off she’s not joking.” Varric is between them even as Hawke puts a hand on his great-sword 

“I’ve killed plenty of Qunari; you would do well to remember that.” 

Anaan shakes her head no, “You did not kill Qunari, you killed the cast offs of the Qun like me, if you had faced Qunari you would be dead. Do not claim more than you are Hawke you are not worthy.” 

That earns an arched eyebrow. “Arishok considered me Basalit-an worthy of respect and to fight, I won that fight and I’ll win this one if you continue to insult me.” 

Anaan scowls again tilting her head, “You killed Arishok?” 

“Yes, he was trying to take Isabella.” When Anaan says nothing, “My lover, she was the one who had stolen the book and he wanted to take her back to Par-Vollen for punishment.” 

“You should have let him, she would have been lucky to embrace the Qun, but that is not the point of this.” Anaan shifts moves towards the stairs. “Work with Commander on the logistics of your information and I will meet with the contact when needed.” 

“That’s it, no offers of drink or camaraderie?” 

Anaan indicates the drinks on the table, “Drinks are there and I have no further business with you.” 

Hawke sighs, “Lets try this again, hi I’m Garrett nice to meet you.” 

“Goodbye Hawke.” 

Anaan continues down the stars Avar with her and Hawke turns to Varric, “I thought you liked her?” 

“I do, she’s a very interesting woman but you are an unknown and you come off as very cocky add in the Qunari digs and be thankful you are still alive.” 

“You do not like him.” Avar states as Anaan heads to the spar rings. 

“Correct.” 

“Why?” 

“I do not trust him, he is hiding something.” 

Avar nods, “Talk to Varric, maybe he can set your mind at ease.” 

Anaan is adjusting her top and squaring off against Avar when she sees Blackwall. “Warden, come spar.” He furrows his brow for a moment but heads to the rings picking up a sword and shield. Anaan has her staff and sets it to ringing against the shield. 

“Oh eager are we?” He comes at her laughs as she finally gives ground. “Move Anaan, melee doesn’t work without movement. Anaan comes at him, “Good now both of us move.” This Anaan has issues with, she is a stand and shoot or allowing her opponent to come to her not moving with them. “With those long legs you can get around your opponent faster there like that. Nice hit.” Dance sideways, a thwack to Blackwall's back and he is smiling as he gets her on the rib with his blade. 

“Have you found more of the Wardens?” Blackwall shakes his head no. “Your order is large but no one has seen them. We found signs they were looking for Wardens in Hinterlands and Storm Coast but never actually found any. Why?” 

“I am not sure Inquisitor.” 

“There is someone here that says they can put us in contact with the Wardens and that may know where they are.” 

“You wish for me to come with you? Why do you not trust this person?” Blackwall waves a hand to stop the match. 

“I am unsure.” 

“What does your gut tell you?” Anaan tilts her head at him. Blackwall looks to Avar for help. 

“I have no idea how to explain that we still have issues with choice.” 

“Do you think he is lying to you or is it because you don’t know him that you don’t trust him?” Cullen asks walking up. 

“I both.” 

Cullen nods, “I worked with Hawke when I was in Kirkwall, and he did a lot of good for the city often at personal risk.” Anaan does a go on motion, “Many would blame him for a lot of these issues we are dealing with now. It was his companion that blew up the Chantry that started the war, it was his companion that stole the book that nearly got Kirkwall demolished and it was his blood that opened the vault that let the monster we are dealing with now out.” 

“So he’s a catalyst.” 

Avar states and Cullen thinks and then nods, “In a way yes, he is not directly responsible but his decisions led to it.” 

Anaan puts the staff up and heads to the tavern. Hearing running and voices Anaan is up the steps to see Cassandra chasing Varric around the table. “HEY! Enough!” Anaan steps between the two glares at them both. 

“Inquisitor! This man hid Hawke, you knew where he was you should have told me.” 

“You people have done enough to Hawke; you need to leave him alone.” 

“He could have saved her, he should have been at the Conclave, and we needed him to fix this.” 

“Least you forget Seeker, you have an Inquisitor.” 

Anaan sends a slight shock into both of them. “Enough I said. Seeker things went the way they did nothing can change the past forward Seeker forward. Varric, I understand but do not think to do this again.” 

Varric is surprised but nods. “Yes Inquisitor, my apologies.” 

“Varric I need to speak with you later.” Varric leaves after nodding Anaan looks to Avar. “Speak with him; I need to speak to Seeker alone.” When they have left she looks at Cassandra, “Seeker.” 

“I should have been there, Hawke could have, Maker why?” Cassandra is crying and Anaan is out of her depth here thinks to call Avar back. 

“You cannot change the past, you made the choices you did for a reason you may not see the wisdom now but you will.” 

Cassandra laughs at that. “You do not wish to change the past? You do not wish to change things between you and Bull?” Flicker of hurt for that hit but Cassandra doesn’t see it. “You two were good together, he loved you very much.” 

Anaan waves the comment away. “He let me go; I let him go asit tal-eb. Varric was protecting a friend; if I am to understand the tale Hawke has had a lot of as you call it shit happen to him. He was protecting his friend you understand this.” 

Cassandra smiles and wipes her eyes, “I do but you do not.” 

Anaan nods, “You are Kith I would protect you, I do protect you family very important to Qunari but our family does not include children or relatives of blood we are united in common cause against non Qunari.” 

Cassandra laughs at that. “If you had told me when we started this that I would put my shield between you and an enemy I would have laughed, that you would protect me that you do after what I did to you.” 

Anaan waves it away, “past, you did not know me I did not know you you were bas I was bas we have proven worthy to each other through time.” 

“That’s what it is then? We are bas until we prove otherwise.” Anaan nods, “Okay I get it, hell I even agree with it. Thank you.” 

“If Varric hides more I will let you chase him.” 

Cassandra laughs, “He hides more I will do more than chase him.” 

Anaan nods at this heads down the stairs to find Varric and Avar. “Inquisitor, I understand you wish to know more about Hawke.” He indicates the man in question sitting with some of Bull’s men. 

Anaan inclines her head for a moment sits in the chair across from Varric. “Convince me to trust him.” 

Varric laughs at that, “I can’t.” 

“Explain.” 

“Hawke is his own man, he makes the tough decisions and sticks to them he is always in the middle of whatever shit is brewing but can charm almost anyone. He deals with both sides when possible but will always pick one over the other there is no middle ground with him.” 

“You do not trust him?” 

Varric is quiet for a moment, “Yes but he doesn’t trust me. Too many betrayals will make even the best man paranoid.” 

Anaan nods at this. “Cassandra is calmer now, she promised to do more than chase you next time.” 

“I don’t doubt it.”


	16. Curious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter- Bondage/whipping/caning/submission
> 
> I have had this chapter written for months and as Anaan has gone silent to Lioness' roaring. (I know bad pun but work with me). I thought I would post this in hopes to keep her alive and maybe get her to find her voice. 
> 
> ENJOY!

“Anaan, indulge me for a moment please?” She nods, stopping the turn of the wooden coin in her hand to look at him fully. “You say Avar helps you with control but how?” Dorian is watching her as Avar sits against the wall he has a view of the tavern while her back is to the door but she is between him and any threats. 

Anaan weighs what she says debating and Dorian waits knows she is not one to cast words blindly hers are measured. “I do not have adequate words to tell you so that you would understand.” 

Dorian looks to Avar who shakes his head no, “I don't either but I will show you if she will allow it.” Anaan nods, “When it is needed I will let you know.” 

The fights had been intense, they had been out fighting demons and closing rifts for weeks and all of them are tired of each other. With the group snapping and snarling Anaan's normally calm demeanor crackles as lightning nearly striking Varric and Solas. Neither of which had even been in the fray had merely been sitting at the fire one drinking and writing the other reading. “Anaan control!” 

“Control yourself Avar, enough! You are Tal-Vashoth, he is Tal-Vashoth does not matter how or why stop fighting!” More lightning had crackled and Varric had retreated to stand next to Solas the mage ready with a barrier if needed. 

“Ash aqun Anaan, kost I did not meant to offend.” Avar is trying to calm her and she's not settling down sends a bolt to his feet. “ENOUGH! You will submit now!” That Anaan hesitates is telling, that she actually bares her teeth at him before finally submitting has his grip on his rod nearly enough to break it. “Saarebas, submit.” He repeats when she tries to stand. She is not giving him what he needs to let her up, her posture of hunched shoulders, back curved not what he needs. Thankfully they will be back in SkyHold the next day. “Stay until you find peace Saarebas, when you do you may go to bed. Acknowledge.” When she does not he is to her yanking her head back. “Grab the rod, you will find control Saarebas now.” 

“I cannot.” Anaan finally admits. 

Avar is to his pack in a moment the collar he carries thin. “Come.” She stands as his hand is on the back of her neck. She's walked away from the rest told to kneel again as he puts the collar on runes pressed her gasp of pain as her runes light up before dimming. Finally he pushes a button on his rod the resulting barrier crackling as Anaan's magic lashes out. 

“Okay what is that and why are you doing it?” Varric is shocked. 

“He is caging her because her magic is lashing out she can't control it.” Bull states watching carefully. 

“Collar leashes her runes, anything that is cast is all her raw power hence the cage.” Avar states walking back to the fire. “Solas please set a barrier over the top of that.” Solas does. 

“If the barriers come down?” Dorian asks. 

“She can't use her runes to cast so it's all raw magic which for her is lightning.” Avar points to the gathering clouds, “I suggest you get anything you don't want wet in the tents it will rain shortly.” Avar heads towards his tent. 

“You are going to leave her out here in the rain?” Dorian is shocked. 

“Since she's the one casting it and controlling it yes. If she controlled it she wouldn't get wet.” He flicks a hand at Dorian's protest, “Cage will protect her she's not going to get wet but the rest of us will, hopefully sleep will settle her I do not want to chain her going into SkyHold but if she doesn't get some control I am going to have to.” His words are controlled and clipped, he doesn't like this anymore than she does. 

“Cullen will not be happy if you do that Avar.” Bull has his arms crossed watching the figure of Anaan kneeling in the cage hair pinned, head down in submission her collar clearly showing. Shoulders are still hunched, back curved this is not the countenance of peace this is war. 

“Bull you are welcome to try and get her under control, she's got lightning at her fingertips and she's angry with you.” Avar indicates the cage slight smile on his face. 

“He's got you there Tiny, let's all get some shut eye maybe we'll all be under more control in the morning.” Varric heads into his tent and others trickle off until it's just Avar on watch. 

Anaan's not better in the morning, none of them are the storm she's called was full of lightning and thunder along with the rain making the entire camp soggy. “Anaan, how can I help you?” Solas asks sitting next to the cage. 

“I don't know Solas, I just don't know.” She is anguished and tired. 

“Perhaps a distraction, shall I tell you about Ghilan'nain mother of the halla?” When she nods he continues. “They say Ghilan'nain was one of the People, and the chosen of Andruil the Huntress. One day, Ghilan'nain came across a hunter she did not know. At his feet lay a hawk, shot through the heart by an arrow. Ghilan'nain was filled with rage, for the hawk is an animal much beloved of Andruil. Ghilan'nain called upon the goddess to curse him, so that he could never again hunt and kill a living creature. Ghilan'nain's curse took hold, and the hunter found that he was unable to hunt. Ashamed, the hunter swore he would find Ghilan'nain and repay her for what she had done to him. He blinded her first, and then bound her as one would bind a kill fresh from the hunt. But because he was cursed, the hunter could not kill her. Instead he left her for dead in the forest. And Ghilan'nain prayed to the gods for help. Andruil sent her hares to Ghilan'nain and they chewed through the ropes that bound her, but Ghilan'nain was still wounded and blind, and could not find her way home. So Andruil turned her into a beautiful white deer—the first halla.” When he finishes he sees Anaan is calmer her lightning not striking out as much only arcing across her torso. 

“Such a sad but happy tale. I wonder if she wanted to become a halla? Why did the goddess not restore her? Are all halla blind?” Solas chuckles a bit. “I amuse you?” 

“Yours is a curious mind and I enjoy the questions you ask I can give you no answers though as that was many years ago and if she was not happy no one wrote it down to tell us.” He stands as Avar comes towards her dropping the cage. 

“I cannot remove the collar, your magic is still chaos but I think we can get you to the castle.” Anaan nods stands to get ready. 

Cullen is there to greet them has a contingent of Templars with him. “Get her into the castle, let me know if you need help controlling her we could feel her coming her magic is almost wild.” 

Avar nods, keeps a hand on Anaan's elbow as they take the steps Templars keeping a shield between the people and Anaan until she is in the chambers. “Myra, bring Dorian and then we will be left alone for the rest of the day.” Myra nods, after placing the food Dorian is there shortly. “You wished to watch how I bring control I will show you.” Anaan is nowhere to be seen. Avar turns motions Dorian to follow him as he enters the second closet or what Dorian thought was, is surprised when the door is opened to reveal a small room with a table, bench, chest of drawers and a grid on the wall when Avar moves a stone. Anaan is in the middle of the room on her knees back in the cage collar still on. “Rules so everyone is very clear.” 

He walks closer to Dorian making sure he has the mage's complete attention. “Leather we will start with the whips end in the chains.” He looks at Dorian as he lays out the jerkin and pants places leather cuffs next on the table opening the seat of the bench placing the chains on the top. Finally he goes to the chest of drawers opening the bottom to pull a bull whip along with a cane. “Dorian, you are here to observe only. You may ask questions of me she is not allowed to speak. You cannot stop this, must know she wants and needs this. Point of this is control not pain.” 

Avar is in linen pants his feet bare his bracers not the ones he normally wears but red symbol of the Qun on each one. Dorian will admit with the bracers, light linen and the low light from the flames Avar is every inch the male in his prime. “How is what you do different than Bull?” 

Chuckle for that, “Bull does this for pleasure, a way to increase and enhance it also a way to control but the biggest difference between what we do is she has no say. There is no safe word, she cannot stop this, I decide when it is done not her. Bull is submission and I am surrender.” He releases Anaan watches as she dresses in the leather tunic sleeveless but thick her feet bare and the leggings thick as well. 

She stands in front of the rack stays still as he braids and buns her hair securing it putting the cuffs on her wrists and ankles having her step forward to the rack her back to them and Dorian realizes there are hooks that are anchored into the rack as she is placed on the hooks a chain moving her to be spread with a few tugs until he is happy secures it. Walking to the whip it is unfurled and Dorian moves to where he is told to stay out of the range of it. “Why the leather?” 

“Keeps her runes from being damaged while she is still able to feel it.” Avar waits to see if there are more questions. “Saarebas, you will receive up to12 lashes in sequence of four. You cast without permission.” Dorian winces as the whip snaps against her in three rapid strokes. “Control was not maintained.” three more snaps each loud in the silence. “You did not submit.” three more lashes these more spread apart he is reading her body. Watching to see if she accepts sees she does not his grip on the handle tighter. “You challenged my control of you.” Final three are painstakingly placed against her for this had been her gravest offense. Avar knows she is crying, can hear her trying to control it his instinct to comfort warring with the need to control her. 

Crossing to her he places a hand on her neck feels her tighten before relaxing. “It is over, find your center control the pain.” Deep shuddering breath is taken he sees her grit her teeth. “No, you must accept Saarebas. I am Arvaarad and I will control you.” It is accompanied by a growl his teeth near her neck. Stepping back he grabs the cane runs it across her back noting where she is tender where she is not. When this is over her entire back will be perfectly fine, there must be the illusion of pain he would never hurt her but she needs the pain for control her second Arvaarad leaving him no choice but this. He repeats her sins as the cane twacks loudly against her back this will raise bruises but the pain will only last hours hopefully the control will last months. 

Done with the cane both are put away as he lowers her to the ground and unstraps her. She is stripped out of the leather left in breast band the pants stripped to have her in panties and secured on the rack again. Dorian notices she is suspended this time as she is hoisted up until her feet are eye level with Avar. Chain is controlled with a hand and a pedal on the floor as he runs a hand across her feet lowers her when she accepts. “She must accept my touch after the pain, must trust I control both that I control everything.” Inch by inch she is lowered though she flinches when he gets to her waist and she is hauled up instead of down. Clench of teeth has her up again until she relaxes getting her father down. Hand directly over where he hit her with the cane gets her down to the floor along with a hum of approval. Running a finger over the collar removing it. “Well done Saarebas, your control is secured you may have your chains.” 

Unhooking her he helps her walk over to the bench. Dorian is surprised at the smile on her face as chains are put on her wrists and ankles when she is damn near glowing at the heavy chest-piece collar he is baffled. “How is she happy about being put in chains?” 

“They represent her control, she earned these chains. She wants mage metal chains but I have denied it, I don't need the grief of those burns.” When he places the mask on her face Dorian shakes his head still confused. “You are Saarebas and I am Arvaarad. Ash aqun.” Avar pulls Dorian back away from Anaan lets her sit in the get up making sure her happy hum of magic doesn't explode.

“This is how she gets control? Having the shit beat out of her?” Avar shakes his head no. 

“There are no marks you saw that yourself, it is the illusion of pain. She needs the pain for the control the other Arvaarad caused this. I mix what both of them did to her to get her balanced, I'd never willingly hurt her Dorian pain is not the point.” 

When Anaan takes the mask off and then the rest of the chains her runes settle down and she puts the chains away joins them this is the most important part, she must removed the chains herself and Dorian sees the change in her the happiness, the control. “You are right Anaan.” Head tilt, “If you had told me this is what you do I would have been horrified. This is not something you can describe to someone and you are not hurt?” 

“I am not, I am aqun, happy, balanced.” Head tilt, “Drinks, we shall celebrate my control.”

Few nights later Bull sits with Dorian, “How was the show?” Dorian frowns for a second. “Avar and Anaan?” 

“Interesting.” Dorian admits eyes sliding to Bull knowing how much the man can read in so few words. 

“How is it different?” Bull's never had a chance to watch something like what Dorian watched, the secrets of an Arvaarad and how they controlled Saarebas absolute. 

“Avar said you ask for submission while he asks for surrender and I agree. Your goals are so different from each other I can't even compare the two.” Dorian pauses hand on chin watching Bull. “I'd never let someone do to me what he did to her, it's too much.” 

“Allow someone to have complete control over you, if you ate, slept, told you where to go and how to act at all times. That trust is absolute, there is no room for questions, ambitions, there is no self.” Bull rubs his face for a moment, “It's the purest form of what the Qun is that I have ever seen.” 

“Yet right now she is deciding the fate of empires. His control over her is not absolute it only extends to her magic. He does not sit in council, does not decide anything for her outside her use of magic. Each understands their role completely and executes it flawlessly.” 

“That is the Qun.” 

“You miss it?” 

“Little, it's like living a lie and then having it bite you in the ass.” Shrug, “I am thankful for my guys but the Qun gave me control, a way to control the anger. Without that?” 

“You have the Inquisitor, the Inquisition and you have me. You are not alone Bull, we will help you.” 

“Thanks.” Bull smiles slightly at that.


	17. -Wardens and Demons-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YAY, finally got her to speak up. Am trying to hammer out more chapters on all three of my story lines.

“Hawke is ready to meet Inquisitor. He and Stroud have requested you meet them in Crestwood for the full debriefing.” Cullen indicates Crestwood on the map glances at her. “I would suggest you take Blackwall with you for this he may provide the insight you need to get this done.” Glance to Cassandra. “I would also recommend you take Cassandra.” 

“Why?” She’s glancing at him and then at the Seeker in question. 

“Because we need Hawke to focus and I am very good at getting people to focus when needed.” Cassandra answers with a smile. 

Memories of the chains, of being asked over and over how she had survived rattle of those chains the smell of her own blood the metallic tang sat on her tongue. “Agreed.” Anaan nods glances back at Leliana and Josephine. “Anything else?” 

“Minor issues for you to look at to see how you want to deal with them.” Josephine hands the missives over. “There is also the duke in the dungeon that Bull brought back as you requested.” Twist of fingers glance at the wall before back at her. “I did not mean to go against your wishes.” 

“Yes you did but I understood why.” Wave of hand. “Why I said nothing.” Deep breath turn to the door, “Leliana messenger.” Leliana turns as there is a knock on the door moves to answer it. Anaan turns back to Josephine, “Do not change what I want to happen without asking or at least telling me okay?” Anaan ducks her head to make Josephine look at her waits as the woman nods. “We cannot seem weak, we cannot show mercy, that duke was killing people I swore to protect that cannot be allowed to stand.” 

“He is a duke of the Orlasian Empire, killing him is a political maneuver you do not understand the ramifications of.” Josephine’s drawn herself up to her full height approaches Anaan ready to do battle. 

“I do understand it hence the reason he has not seen judgement yet.” Josephine draws a breath on that. “I listened when you spoke about him Ambassador, I know killing him will upset many which is why he has sat in our cells and will continue to do so.” 

“He cannot languish in there forever Inquisitor.” Cullen chimes in and Anaan nods in agreement. 

“His relatives are making noises, making our Ambassador’s job not as easy as it should be.” 

“If we can’t kill him and we can’t keep him what are we going to do?” Leliana asks rejoining after the interruption. 

“He will be given to Gaspard, he is Gaspard’s subject and we will present our charges to him and let him decide what to do with him. In exchange for getting his duke back I want a contingent of his Chevaliers. I want officers as well as regular men, officers will train with our men teach them what they can regular men will bolster our numbers.” Glance to Cullen, “I do not slight you but he was good enough to defeat you which means his men are well trained and we will need them.” 

“I agree with the plan, I will work with Josephine and see if we can get it done.” Nod at her and she is headed out the door. 

“Varric, Blackwall, Cassandra, Solas you will come with me to Crestwood.” Anaan nods to those she has chosen. “Vivienne, Dorian, and Avar figure out what to do with the extra mages we are getting they are causing issues.” Disdain enters her voice with the issues of the mages. “Sera I am to understand you have red jenny things that need your attention?” 

“Yeah, can meet you in Crestwood when it’s done unless you aren’t going to stick to close the rifts and stuff?” She’s hanging upside down from the rafters her blonde choppy hair swinging easily. 

“Boss?” Anaan waves a hand at Bull. 

“I did not forget you Bull, I know your contacts have reached out met me in Crestwood when you are done there is a dragon there we must deal with.” 

“Anaan.” It’s a low strangled sound, they haven’t killed a dragon together since they stopped their relationship and both know the dragonblood will cause issues. 

“The Qun will have to work.” Avar laughs shaking his head. 

“We all know that is not going to work.” Dorian finally chimes in smiling slightly remembering the way the two Qunari had nearly taken each other with them in audience. Bull had managed to control them both long enough for the rest of the group to leave but it was a damn close thing. 

“It will.” Anaan glares at Dorian and Bull both. “Varric, we are meeting Hawke and Stroud in Crestwood you will keep Hawke from causing trouble.” 

Chuckle greets that, “Hawke’s last name is trouble, I can’t guarantee anything.” 

“Hawke is his last name Varric oh now I understand. If he causes trouble I have no issues killing him, it would probably solve a lot of issues.” 

“Anaan.” Varric admonishes. 

“Fine I will refrain from killing him but if he compares me to the Arishok again or says he can defeat me I will shoot lightning through him. He will not insult me again and walk away unscathed.” Eyes are flashing, arms are crossed and Anaan really looks like a dragon right now lightning arches across her frame for a moment. 

“Easy Anaan, Kost he is basalit-an if you choose to kill him it would not be a worthy death for him you are Tal Vashoth, to even speak to him is wrong.” Avar reminds her earns a glare. 

“I am aware of my sins Avar, I do not require a reminder from a Tal Vashoth Arvaarad with a Tal Vashoth Ben-Hassrith agent behind him.” Hand clenches into a fist. “Both of whom cost me the Qun again.” Clench of jaw from Avaar when that is said even as Bull ducks his head. 

“Inquisitor?” Vivienne asks carefully. “When are we leaving and what are the tasks we are accomplishing while we are in Crestwood.” 

Anaan shakes her head takes a deep breath. “Rifts, there are also undead there we need to figure out what is going on with that, the dragon and whatever else they come up with.” Eyes flick in thanks to Vivienne who inclines her head they finish the plans and disperse Anaan’s quick steps up to her quarters informing both Bull and Avar she does not wish for their company. 

“I thought you were out of the dog house guys what happened?” Varric asks curious, Anaan had lapsed into Qunlat after Avar had reminded her she was Tal Vashoth. 

“I have a permanent bed in it; Avar just seems to get tossed in it with me at random occasions.” Bull shrugs leaning a hip on the table. 

“You came to a meeting with her smelling of bas, she has let you go but you would dare flaunt it in front of her you’ve moved on?” Avar curls his lip in disgust at Bull who sighs. “My presence in the dog house is very unpredictable however Hawke REALLY pissed her off when they met and I am not seeing it go any better the next time. He is cocky and thinks he is better than anyone, takes no responsibility for his actions and is chaos personified nothing Anaan likes.” 

“He is taking responsibility; else he wouldn’t be helping with the Wardens.” Varric chimes in thinking to defend his friend. 

“He has a sister that is a Warden right? He’s doing this for her.” Bull answers. “As for smelling of bas, I have moved on and care not one whit if she is pissed about that or not. If she is pissed about it maybe she cares more than she wants to let on.” Head tilt in speculation, “Your presence in the dog house is interesting and you might ask HER why you are in trouble this time might have something to do with the fact YOU smell of Cassandra which both of you are doing a horrible job of sneaking around if that is what you are trying to do.”  


Avar’s change in demeanor is immediate as he glares at Bull in full fury. “I am not bedding the Seeker, I do not sleep with humans, I am not you to rut mindlessly with whatever spreads its legs. I spar with the Seeker, I enjoy her company that is all and I am done explaining myself to you Hissrad.” His tread away from them is calm but measured as he makes the steps up to Anaan’s quarters. 

“Well that went well.” Varric shakes his head as Bull heads another direction pours a tankard at his table and waits to see if Anaan’s door will produce Avar in short order or not. 

“Anaan?” Avar is tentative in his approach of her unsure what is the cause of the bad mood when she doesn’t answer he finds her on the balcony meditating. He is to her in a moment sliding behind her going through the motions as she registers his presence sees her nostrils flair so she is bugged by the Seeker. “I do not bed her, I spar with her and she has some interesting views on the world.” 

Eyes pop open as she feels his breath on her neck, “I know that.” 

“Why are you upset with me then?” Avar is confused. 

“I am not, I am upset with myself my control is not what I want. It should not upset me to be called Tal Vashoth but it does. I know what I chose and I don’t regret it would do it again.” Anaan leans back against him seeking comfort smiles when he grabs her wrists in each hand continues to maintain the hold on her when she says the verses again. 

“Bull.” She says the word as a curse takes a deep breath says it again and Avar knows she is trying to make herself not care and it doesn’t work like that. 

“Love is not something you can shut off like a spell, doesn’t work like that.” Avar counsels when she is working herself up more. 

“I do not love him, we are done.” 

“Then why do you care if he sleeps with humans?” Clench of jaw is her response. “He did it before you two were together does it now you are done why does it bug you? Is it because you have not moved on?” 

“I would understand him sleeping with the Seeker, the Ambassador even Leliana but the servants?” Head shake no, “does he see me as them? A servant to him that I sated his need?” 

“Is that how you see yourself?” Careful Avar his mind is yelling at him. She’s got lightning at her fingertips and she is emotional. When she is up glaring down at him as if he has lost his mind Avar is not sure if he can breathe yet. “When you were Saarebas you were a servant, when your Arvaarad freed you were you not a servant? Are you not a servant now to close rifts and stop wars are your advisers not your masters?” 

“I am my own master, I choose to close the rifts and help the advisers with these issues. I decide how to deal with issues and who accompanies me to accomplish my tasks I am no servant.” She’s pacing now as he stands up. 

“If that is the case why would you care what Bull saw you as? You were never a servant to him, he takes your orders goes where you dictate addresses you with respect.” Avar crosses his arms and regards her. “You are no servant Anaan, not to anyone here so why does it matter he sleeps with the servants? Why does it matter who he beds?” 

“Because it should be me.” She says it quietly barely above a whisper. Eyes look to him and he wants to wrap her up tell her it will be all right but it won’t be. 

“You burned that bridge Anaan, forward you need to move forward. You will never get him back and you know it. If it is release you need I can give that to you.”

Sharp shake of head no. “Confuses our roles, not done and not needed especially since we both know you would rather not.” 

He doesn’t answer that, merely walks closer to her. “If you need release I will give it to you I did not complain in Orlais.” 

Headshake no, “Those were different circumstances. I am going to bed, sleep well Avar.” He leaves her heads to his room gets ready to sleep knows his dreams will be full of unfulfilled needs.


	18. -Crestwood-

Entering Crestwood Anaan glances at the rest of the group as Harding comes towards them. “There is a lake full of undead coming every single night and it is tiring. Seems there is a rift open in the lake but you can’t get to it with the lake full.” Finger indicates a gate house, “You can close the dam here and it will drain the lake.” 

“But what about this keep here is it ours?” Solas asks indicating the structure. 

“Cear Bronach, was erected by King Brandel as a stopover garrison for Fereldan soldiers fighting Orlesian invaders. Now a group of bandits have taken it over and we will need to hold it to get to the gatehouse.” Harding glances at Anaan. “There is also undead attacking the village and we have not been able to stop them since the rift in the lake is the source.”

“Okay let’s get the keep taken and we can deal with the lake and then the village.” Anaan nods figuring out the plan. As a dragon screams and wings overhead she sighs, “then we will deal with ataashi.” 

“What about Hawke? We still need to meet with him.” Varric reminds the group and Anaan favors him with a look for a moment. 

“We will meet him shortly; first we need to take care of the town.” Anaan swings back up onto Ash the rest following her as she makes her way to the keep drawing up at the door eyeing the archers that look down at her a moment. 

‘“Open in the name of the Inquisition and you will not be harmed.” Cassandra calls out is answered with an arrow glances at Blackwall a moment as he slides off his horse. 

“Inquisitor if I may?” Solas steps up his eyes slightly glowing as Anaan nods sees Blackwall and Cassandra step away as Solas waves the door of the keep exploding as meteors rain down on it Blackwall and Cassandra charging in after the explosion blades flashing as the rest follow slinging spells and bolts. 

Anaan and team make short work of the resistance in the keep the chief’s head parting from his shoulders with a swing of Blackwall’s sword and the flag is flying. “Will take Harding a moment to get folks here we can press on if you like?” Varric asks popping another lock that yields a decent armory and an office with papers in it. “Seems there is a door that leads to the damn locks on the first level.” Varric is rifling through the papers tucking some and leaving others for Harding to find. 

“Then let us get that done, it is only mid-day and if the lake can start draining we can rest here in the keep for the night and tackle the rift in the morning.” Anaan turns leading the group back down to the bottom of the keep waits for Varric to unlock it follows Cassandra as the warrior presses to be in front Blackwall bringing up the rear. “Seeker?” Anaan waits for the woman to turn her head as they walk across the bridge to the tavern. “Your relationship with Avar.” 

“Is strictly professional Inquisitor you do not approve?” Cassandra has stopped turns fully to face Anaan. 

“Avar keeps his own council, however I know you want more.” Solas sighs slightly shaking his head at her. “Solas?” 

“Tactful as always Inquisitor though I wonder if you warn the Seeker off because the rumors are true you bed him or you wish to and do not want the competition.” Anaan favors Solas with a glance it’s one of those I want to fry you glances. “I am merely stating the truth Inquisitor, that you do not like the truth does not make it false. Either you bed Avar or wish to why else would you care about the nature of the Seeker’s relationship with him?” 

“He is Avaarad that is not done Solas. He is not Kadan cannot be Kadan does not seek to be that to me either.” Solas’ shrug of shoulders has Anaan glaring more at him. “I do not wish his attention to be divided, he is my Avaarad his attention to Cassandra would distract him.” 

“That is not your decision to be made Inquisitor, he is control he would be able to say if his affections or lack thereof would divide him or not. Do not make choices for him nor interfere in a relationship that has no bearing on the task at hand.” Solas shakes his head as he says this misses the subtle cues Anaan has given though Blackwall has not moves between the two mages. 

“You are brave to lecture me unchained saarebas on my Avaarad.” Glance to see Blackwall, “You who do not even accept your own race have no place to lecture me.” 

“That you see it as a lecture instead of the guidance of a friend is your choice not mine. Cassandra will stop talking and sparring with Avar as you have requested and Avar will ask why and be told. What would he say at your meddling?” Solas arches an eyebrow at her arms crossed waiting for a response. 

Anaan’s answer is a string of muttered curses as she spins to stomp forward to the tavern the rest following her quickly. “Not sure if that is a win or a pause.” Varric quips. 

“No lightning, take it as a win.” Blackwall comments earns a glare from Anaan, “Please know I was not taking sides Inquisitor.” 

Anaan stops at the sounds of moaning and a breathless declaration of love that has Varric laughing. “Knock, knock folks just need to get through to the dam controls so if you’ll carry on that is fine with us.”

They cover themselves and Anaan ignores them as they get into an argument about places to do such things. “Are there not places made for this sort of thing?” She finally asks Blackwall as Varric and Solas try and figure out how to get the gate controls to work. 

“What sort of thing?” Blackwall is curious what she is on about. When Anaan waves a hand to the pair of young lovers he laughs. “Yes but she is not that type of woman, lacks permission from her parents to marry the boy so they sneak other places.” 

Anaan marches back to the pair trailing a chuckling Blackwall, “If you want her ask to marry from the proper authority.” Glance to the woman, “Value yourself enough to make sure he gets that permission, what would happen if you get pregnant? You would be disowned and he would likely not be able to provide for you. Authority is there for a reason, use it.” Marching back to the levers she is happy they are working makes her way back to the castle to catch up with Harding’s group that has arrived. 

“Inquisitor, this keep will definitely come in handy I thank you for securing it for us.” Walking over to the map she indicates a couple of spots, “Here is where Hawke is and here is where the town is. Dragon is nesting over here. Also one of my men is missing, he had sensitive information that we need here is where he was last seen.” Anaan nods making a list to get it all figured out. 

“We will deal with the rift, missing person, Hawke, town then dragon agreed?” She glances to Cassandra and Blackwall who nod agreement. “Find out what kind of dragon that is, if we need Dorian and Vivienne here I would like to know before we tangle with it.” World ordered to her liking she retires for the night.


End file.
